An Open Book
Dear Mama,
Can I ever possably tell you how sorry i really am? I messed up. I have more secrets than youve ever had. I have more scars than youve ever had. But Im stronger than youll ever be. So I cant bring myself to fully regret the day I made that cut in my leg. Yes, I know you thought it was a nail sticking out of the furniture. But really mama? A nail? Im so sure.
Then it got worse. And you could tell couldnt you? And before I knew it I had scars all over and every single one had a stupid excuse that you beleved. Every now and then you would ask, "Are you okay?" And a simple, "No." Was all it took to convince you.
Why couldnt you just be there for me? I know, its not your fault im all messed up. But couldnt you at least try to find out why im not the same anymore?
I could make this letter go on for pages and pages, but ill just be strait forward, because the world is crashing down around me, and i dont have time to waste.
First of all, yes. Yes, I am a self-harmer. Yes, i do have a bulimia problem. Yes, my brother hates me, he treats me like a peice of worthless crap, and he breaks all of your rules. But I dont tell you he treats me like crap because first off, i love him, second, I am a peice of worthless crap. I dont tell you he breaks all your rules, because I break all your rules.
And yes, I do have more secrets than that, I know its shocking, but I dont feal confortable writing them in a letter, ever one youll never read. I guess somethings are just ment to stay inside forever.
Im sorry Im such a messed up daughter.
Love
Madison
Then it got worse. And you could tell couldnt you? And before I knew it I had scars all over and every single one had a stupid excuse that you beleved. Every now and then you would ask, "Are you okay?" And a simple, "No." Was all it took to convince you.
Why couldnt you just be there for me? I know, its not your fault im all messed up. But couldnt you at least try to find out why im not the same anymore?
I could make this letter go on for pages and pages, but ill just be strait forward, because the world is crashing down around me, and i dont have time to waste.
First of all, yes. Yes, I am a self-harmer. Yes, i do have a bulimia problem. Yes, my brother hates me, he treats me like a peice of worthless crap, and he breaks all of your rules. But I dont tell you he treats me like crap because first off, i love him, second, I am a peice of worthless crap. I dont tell you he breaks all your rules, because I break all your rules.
And yes, I do have more secrets than that, I know its shocking, but I dont feal confortable writing them in a letter, ever one youll never read. I guess somethings are just ment to stay inside forever.
Im sorry Im such a messed up daughter.
Love
Madison
♠ ♠ ♠
i understand. if i wrote one to my mom i wouldnt send it--Cassi