An Open Book

I hate the word lesbian. It sounds like a disease... Gay sounds better. So here i go- I'm Gay. No, that isn't my secret, everyone knows.

My secret is her, or you, if you're reading this Coco. I think I'm falling for you. I can't let myself, I don't want to hurt you the way I hurt them.

Those two weren't mistakes, far from it. Em was myself finding myself. Ry was about making sure, though I didn't mean to break his heart.

I am volatile. I fall in and out of love so quickly... That is why I can't confess, I'll just end up hurting you and everyone else.

He claims to love you, did you know? The boy in our language class, the one who I'm related to. Yeah, I don't want to hurt him. The girl in our English, the one always sitting between us? she hates me, and I don't want her to hate you too...

Em. She is still getting over me, I don't want her to feel that betrayal that she put me through. No-one deserves that. And Ry, doesn't he have a crush on you? Maybe not, that was a while ago...

When we kissed at Rainbow's party i melted. No one ever kissed me that sweetly. No one. That was last year wasn't it? I don't care, I just want it to happen again... I'm sorry I can't tell you this coco.

You probably know who I am by now, but here is a hint, to make sure.

Rawr means "I love you" in dinosaur. I'll say it everyday until the end of the year, if i still mean it.

I can't date you until summer. July 23. Then again, why would someone as amazing and as beautiful as you want some schizo lesbian like me?

I'm afraid to submit this to the open book... But, I need to say it. And i need to have the hope that you may find this someday. Even if you never say a word about it, never let me know that you read this. I wish you the best of luck, where-ever life may take you, be it far or near. As long as you are happy. and I'm sorry I cannot say that I'll wait forever.