It Hurts in the Worst Way

As the light hit me, my eyes slowly fluttered open. Which at first I wish they didn’t because the sunlight hurt. I threw my arm up over my face before opening my eyes carefully. Well that was one hell of a wakeup call, always trust the sunlight to wake you up.

Slowly I moved my arm from my face, narrowing my eyes to see in the bright room before looking around. For a moment I had no idea where I was...until I saw a familiar old framed painting hanging on the wall. I’m at Ash’s house, in my old room; my very, very old room. I blinked and slowly remember dragging Craig with me in here last night when our little ‘end of tour party’ ended as he whined about being tired, half drunk.

Yeah he had a little bit to drink last night, but can you blame him?

I’m pretty sure I’m like the only one that didn’t drink more that one can last night. Glad I didn’t though, I got to see some pretty funny shit. If anyone thought Max was crazy and funny all the time, then they have to see him drunk. You do everything but die laughing. I wonder how long or if that Natasha girl put up with him...

I moved my eyes across my room taking everything in, even the old huge crack in the wall that Ash still hasn’t fixed, until they landed on the sleeping Craig laying next to me. He was lying on his stomach, head facing away from me and his arms and legs spread out all over the place, sheets and blankets wrapped oddly around him and still wearing the jeans he had on yesterday.

He looked so calm and peaceful even lying like that. I couldn’t help but smile.
It’s hard to imagine that if anyone could see us now that things in this tour went the way they did. Right now and after what Craig did for me last night it was hard to imagine that for myself for a moment, because right now it felt like everything was perfect. At least for me it was anyway, because nothing in this world was perfect.

Gently I reached out and ran my fingers down Craig’s bare back; he had to take his shirt off after Robert accidently spilt beer down his back last night. As my fingers moved over his spine he squirmed a little and I quickly moved my hand away. But moving my hand away didn’t stop him moving, he rolled over ending up half lying on me. I made a small ‘oof’ noise.

See, not a moment in this world is perfect.

Lucky for Craig I love him enough not to shove him off the side of the bed, as funny as that would be. I moved under him slightly to see if I could get out from under him, no luck. I sighed rolling my eyes before blowing some of his hair out of my face; that just got Craig nudging his head into my neck.

He sighed loudly in his sleep causing his breath to run down over my skin, I tried not to laugh because it ticked a little.

Once again I tried to move from under Craig, even if it was just enough so he wasn’t squashing my boobs into my lungs. If anything moving made it worse. Shit, I’ll have to wake him up. I didn’t really want to but I’ll have to.

“Craig.” I whispered. “Craig?”

He moved his head a little in my neck, but other than that nothing.

“Craig?” I asked louder. “Craig!”
“What?” He mumbled against my neck.
“Can you move a little place?”

For a moment it was quiet before he sighed again.

“Hmm? No, this is nice.” He mumbled before yawning.
“Can’t breathe well!” I gasped.

Craig rolled off my quickly and I took in a deep breath. Craig blinked at me wide eyed.

“Sorry!” He exclaimed.

I couldn’t help it I just had to laugh at the look on his face. Once I was laughing he relaxed and rolled his eyes. Before long he was lying at my side, head on my shoulder.

“It’s alright.” I smiled getting over my fit of giggles.

Craig chuckled.

“This is a nice way to wake up.” He whispered.

I smiled and kissed his hair.

“Sure is.”

Craig moved so he was leaning on his elbow on the mattress and lent down to kiss me. Of course right then the bedroom door had to fly open and had Ash screaming ‘good morning’. Craig groaned against my lips and moved away. I pouted and looked at my somehow over excited cousin, well at least he seemed that way.

“So how are the love birds this morning?” Ash asked.

Before me or Craig had the chance to say something he ran at the bed jumping on it. I burst out laughing as he landed...mostly on Craig.

“I was fine, till some idiot landed on me.” Craig huffed pushing Ash off of him.
“Same could be said here.”

I got two looks then, one saying ‘sorry’ and the other just confused. I smiled trying not to laugh. Ash who looked confused shrugged.

“Everyone else is up; I’m guessing yous are going very soon? It’s after eleven.”
“Yeah, I think the others want to be home pretty soon.” Craig nodded.

Ash nodded slowly but then smiled at me. Someway, somehow all of a sudden I was over his shoulder and being taken to the kitchen, Craig following trying his best not to laugh. I rolled my eyes and let my body go limp, no point struggling.

After I was placed in the kitchen getting good mornings from everyone, I was amazed by how fast everything went to get ready to leave Ash’s and go back home. It felt like I was on Ash’s shoulder, blink, and then we were out the front of his house saying goodbye.

Actually if I think of it half of the tour was like that too, with everything that happened.

Standing at Fate’s bus I watched as Ash hugged the guys each; people always thought he was weird for doing that, but I think it is nice; if you’re not going to see them for a while then why not show those people that you care?

After a while he was standing in front of me with a small pout. I smiled to get him to smile and pulled him into a hug. Ash pretty much squashed my frame right up against his. I let out a wheezy laugh.

“Thanks for all your help. Keep in touch yeah?”
“You’re welcome and of course. I’ll come visit sometime.” He smiled pulling away.
“Anytime were at home is fine by me.” I beamed at him.

He smiled brighter at me and kissed my cheek softly and I did the same.

“Have a safe trip home cuz.”
“Thanks.” I nodded.

We smiled at each other again before everyone one started going into the bus. Craig waited for me and slid his hand into mine before we both walked into the bus. Craig led me to the windows inside that was currently facing Ash’s house.

As the bus started moving I pulled one of the windows open and we all stuck our hand out the window waving. I watched my cousin wave back, before I couldn’t see him anymore.

Robert slid the window shut and I turned to face Craig. He smiled at me and sat down on the couch pulling me onto his lap as Max sat next to us. Monte and Robert sat at the table.

I felt Craig kiss my hair gently.

“Love you.” He whispered into my ear smiling.
“Love you too.” I whispered back.

I moved in his lap slightly so my head was in the crook of his neck and my feet on Max’s lap, who by the looks of it didn’t mind at all.

It was hard to believe that this tour was over. It was so heart-ranching but also joyful at times. So much has happened, so much has changed it was almost mind blowing.

That morning when I was yelling at the guys to wake up because they were late again, I never expected that Craig’s cousins; Alex and Carol would die in a car crash, that I would get that sick, that I would collapse at that venue, that I would be in hospital, that I was allergic to ants of all things, that Craig would kiss me, that we loved each other.

If someone would have told me all of that would have happened before we left, I would have laughed and walked away from them, but it really, seriously did happen.

In some ways I’m glad it did and in some ways I’m not.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Max yelled all of a sudden roughly two hours after we left Ash’s house. “We’re almost HOME!”

Max jumped up from where he had been sitting and ran to the window. I moved in Craig’s lap where I had been pretty much been the whole ride and looked out the window behind us watching the houses as the bus stopped.

Once it did Max ran off the bus with Robert and Monte following closely. I chuckled and got off Craig’s lap, he stood linking our hands together and we walked off the bus after our driver; Paul.

We are home.

I turned facing Craig with a bright smile. He smiled down at me and gave me a quick loving kiss which I returned.

Parts of this tour hurt in the worst way and the rest was the best in the greatest way. But I have to admit I wouldn’t really change a thing if I was to do it all over again.

Like I have been saying for a while now, nothing is ever perfect in this world...but for me this was just perfect.