Let the Walls Break Down

So much for a nice family dinner, like my mother always calls it. She just doesn’t understand. She was never the one to be teased in school; she was always the popular one. I could tell by her yearbook photos and the different things people voted her for; homecoming queen, most popular…the list went on. That was never me, and she’ll never really understand.

I saw Jack leave my house from my bedroom window upstairs. Quite frankly, I was completely relieved. But I could hear them in the kitchen. I wish I hadn’t because it’s taken me these past few months to come to the realization that…that Mike is gone. I sometimes feel like that girl in P.S., I love you because I call his phone just to hear his voicemail. I miss him.

- - - - -

The next morning I woke up and got ready, like I always did. I had about two hours before my first class, at noon, and decided to go to the coffee shop. It had become a routine for me; everyday before classes. I ordered the usual; coffee and a muffin. My usual seat was taken and I sat at the table in the corner of the shop, near the back and cracked open my book.

“Is this seat taken?” A voice asked. I looked up to see, none other than, Jack standing with a pleading smile on his face.

“Are you following me?” I asked angrily and flipped my book over to hold its place. “Because it’s getting annoying.”

“I wanted to talk to you about last night,” he said as he drummed his fingers in the back of the chair across from me.

“Well, I don’t wanna talk about it,” I took a sip from my coffee cup.

He pulled the chair out and sat down across from me. I noticeably rolled my eyes because I could sense his hesitancy as he sat down slowly.

“Not too happy I’m here, huh?” He asked, looking a little upset at my reaction.

“Gosh, is it that obvious?” I asked in a sarcastic tone of voice. “I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it.” With that, I cocked one eyebrow and picked up my book to continue reading.

His hand reached across the table and pulled the book down lightly from my face.

“At least hear me out?” His face seemed sincere.

I sighed and placed a napkin between the pages to hold my spot. I should really invest in a bookmark.

“Fine,” I agreed, finally.

“Seriously?”

“Yes. Hurry, before I change my mind.”

“Right, right,” he laughed a little to himself. “Uh, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t expect to be invited to dinner like that; I was really only hoping to get a chance to talk to you.”

I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms.

“So, I’m sorry for last night and for everything; middle school, your boyfriend…”

“Please,” I put my hand up in the air for him to stop and I tried my best not to let the tears fall from my eyes. “Please, don’t mention him.”

He stopped and looked at me with a sad expression. Mike was the only one who could make the pain go away, and now it seemed worse than ever.

“I’m sorry,” Jack finally said, again. It was a minute or so before he continued. “Um, but I really am sorry. I only came by last night to say that.”

His eyes look worriedly at me as he waited for a response.

“Thank you,” I finally said. “Even if it took you years to do so; thank you.”

“Are you always gonna hold that against me?” He laughed lightly.

I didn’t smile, nor did I laugh. I didn’t exactly find anything funny about it.

“You know it,” I replied. I then looked down at my watch. I had an hour before my first class and thought of a quick excuse to get away from Jack. “Well, I should probably get going now. I have to meet up with a friend from school for a – er – project that we have due next week.”

I packed my book into my back pack and stood up; Jack stood up as well.

“Maybe we can meet up here some time soon…possibly?” He looked hopefully at me.

“Why?”

“To talk…I guess. I mean, catch up and stuff.”

“We didn’t have a good past. I don’t think the future holds any promises either, so catching up seems pointless to me.” I began walking out of the coffee shop and passed my car, quickly pulling out my phone to text my friend and say that I was stopping by before class. Jack caught up with me.

“Not even just to talk about, really, anything?”

“You’re being really pushy and that’s annoying.”

“Please?” He ran in front of me and stopped me from going anywhere. I sighed, knowing that I wouldn’t win this battle. He gave me his best impression of puppy eyes, and I tried hard to resist it. I was never able to.

“Look, I really have to get going and you’re holding me up. Please let me leave?”

It took him a moment to realize that my expression showed that I was being serious and I just wanted to go. He moved out of my way slowly.

“Thanks,” I said and continued my way to my friend’s house. She had already texted me back saying that she didn’t mind me stopping by.

I felt bad for leaving Jack like that. I’m not one to really hold a grudge, but his teasing really hit me hard when we were younger and I never completely got over it. It was best if we didn’t see each other. At all.