I Want This Forever.

"OH MY HOLY GERMANY!" I Shouted and ran to the door.

"Wow, ok, I just saw you yesterday." Matt laughed as I jumped ontop of him. Brian began laughing as he held Josh up to Zack, who had rushed in to take the baby.

"Yah I know, but... I love all my friends and since I had the baby I like never see y'all. I take as much as I can get." I smiled as Matt picked me back up "Hi hi."

"You're so weird." He laughed and set me down.

"Jaede!" I shouted and tackled Zack's girlfriend, giving her a giant hug "How's my bestie best best friend in the world?" I asked.

"Pretty good." She laughed.

"I feel loved." Maria pouted.

"Mar!! I Love you too chica." I smiled and tackled her too.

"Ehem." Matt cleared his throat as Jackie gave me a smile "Share the looovveee." He made stirring motions with his hands "You know you love eachother."

I couldn't help the jealous feeling, and it actually took me by surprise this time as Jackie bounced over and hugged me. I couldn't help but think that she was the one looking at him naked now. My stomach churned.

"Ok!" I smiled and moved back over to Brian and Zack. I clasped my hands together and smiled "To what do we owe this visit?"

"Not too much kiddo." Zack poked my side "I wanted to see Joshuuuuaaa." He poked Josh's nose.

"Ah ah eh, don't poke my baby." Brian took Josh away and scolded Zack as everyone just laughed.

"I have a feeling this is going to be weird...." Jaede poked my side.

"WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE POKING PEOPLE AROUND HERE?!" I asked loudly "I don't mind, I was just wondering." I smiled.

"Alrighty then." Matt laughed, showing his dimples. I mentally slapped my face.

Izzy, you're married to Brian. Stop being such a whore. You're happy. Stop being a child. Stop. Just fucking stop. Ok? No.. naked isn't cool, STOP IT!

"GAAAH!" I shouted and smacked my head. Everyone had been in conversations, but stopped and looked at me. I smiled quickly "What up?"

"Uhmm... what was that?" Matt asked. I mentally slapped myself.

"Uh.. what?" I asked.

"The groan of agony. What was with that?" Zack laughed "Were the voices being mean again? I swear I'll beat them up for you."

"Yeah, shut up Zee." I mumbled and attempted to take Josh from Brian's arms, but he held back "Brriiiian! Give me my child. I loves him, give, give, give give give!" I whined.

"Are you ok?" He asked seriously, quietly "Do you need anything?"

"My child would be nice." I took Josh from him and walked to the couch. I sat down and began taking inventory of who he looked like more: Brian or me. IT was for sure a tie. He had Brian's nose, my cheks, and right now he had blue eyes. So he'd have my green ones. Unlike his sister.

*Brian's POV*

She was acting weird. We all kept her in the corner of our eyes as she sat on the couch, suddenly Matt shook my arm and pointed at her. I looked over and noticed tears rolling down her cheeks. I took a deep breath and walked over, sitting next to her. She passed Josh to me and pulled her knees to her chest, hid her face in her knees, and sobbed.

"I miss her so much, Brian." She mumbled into her knees "She was my little girl."

"I know, babe." I whispered as Zack took Josh from me so I could console Izzy. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close "I miss her too."

"But... Brian you don't get it," She looked up at me, her eyes a dark hazel color, not their usual brigt green. It confused me for a minute until I realised she was still talking "I gave birth to her, you didn't. You don't understand how badly that hurts to lose something you gave life to." Her words stung like knives.

"I don't know?" I asked.

"Why don't you let me talk to her," Maria sat down on Izzy's other side.

"I don't know how it feels?" I asked "It takes two to tango." I took a deep breath, it was a sore subject, and whenver we'd bring it up wed usually end up going to bed angry. It didn't usually last too long though, but this time she was actually accusing me of not knowing. Usually she didn't do that.

"You weren't around her for most of her life, Brian. You wouldn't know. You didn't have that bond with her that I did." She leaned backwards a little.

"Isabella DiFresco!" Maria pushed her shoulder "Stop it right now and screw your head on right!"

"It's not DiFresco anymore, Mar." Izzy turned sharply and spat at Maria.

"Well you're acting like a child, and you weren't a Haner when you were three!" Maria shouted "Now stop this stupid behavior! You know he feels the same way as you about losing Bitty, we all do. She was like a part of all our families ok? Now one more word and I swear I'll slap you, y ou know I will. This is such nonesense-"

"He doesn't get it. He's a guy, nothing phases men. Nothing ever does. If it did do you think he'd fucking leave our child with a fucking babysitter?!" She spat and turned back to me, standing quickly.

"Where in fucking hell is this all coming from, Iz?" Maria asked as she stood also. Izzy shivered and looked around, her eyes were still dark. Something was wrong.

"Izzy," I pulled at her arm. She retracted it and growled at me.

"Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me!" She shouted as tears poured from her eyes "You haven't lost anything, ever, never. I've lost everything that ever meant anything to me at all! I watched my fuckin' mother die, got raped and beat by the man that killed her and my father. I lost my baby girl, I've lost everything!" SHe shouted.

"But you have me, and all of them." I pointed to everyone behind us, watching in horror "You haven't lost everything, why are you bringing all of this up, Isabella?"

"I just... Just..." She huffed, avoiding eye contact with me "God damnit, she had your eyes, mouth, and nose. Fuck!" She shouted and walked to the stairs, shaking her head back and forth.

I looked up at Maria and she shook her head "I don't even know what the fuck she's on, Brian. BUt..." She paused "I don't know if she's right up there anymore." Maria tapped her head and sat down, holding her head in her hands.

"She needs to see a doctor." Jaede sat down as Zack handed Josh to Matt "What if she's like..."

"Bipolar." Maria nodded "When she was ten-"

"You mean she is?" I asked.

"Well, kinda... not really. They never put her on meds 'cos it only happened once in a while, but it was always bad." She sighed "It usualy took her two or three months to snap out of it, too. She'd be all happy one day and fucked up for months the next. She's say yes one minute, and say hell no the next and go on a rant about it and how everyone is a moron and never saw things her way. The doctors said it was trauma from seeing her Mom die, and never really having her dad around."

"That is so weird." Zack mumbled "ANd we never knew this."

"Well, I assumed she grew out of it or something." Maria shrugged "They said it would get worse with age, but the last time she had a like episode was just before she moved out here. It was horrible."

"Wow." I mumbled "So... what do you think she'll do?"

Maria shrugged "Nothing too rash is all we can pray. If I know Izzy, and I know Izzy, she'll do something stupid."