Cliche Ending
That One Time
So my name is Mary-Sue Mary-Jane Smith. Yeah, I know, it’s one of those names. Besides that, I’m thirteen. Great age isn’t it? I think so! I’ve never had a boyfriend which is fine. Love is stupid after all. I’m only thirteen. Maybe next year I’ll start trying though. I haven’t decided yet. Anyway! My parents are really abusive and big jerks. I don’t like them at all. After all, they’re just stupid parents so why would I want to listen to them at all? So I guess that this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you my big story. Alright, here goes nothing.
You see my best friend was Joe Jonas. I know cool right. I’ve never thought of Joe as a rock star so being friends with him was always just being friends. That’s not a bad thing is it? Anyway, Joe dropped me off at school one day. Most of the kids were used to this and of course all of the girls (and some of the guys) were so jealous that I got a ride from him. I never got what the big deal was about it. They’re just my friends after all. I guess it’s one of those silly fangirl things that I’ll never be able to understand.
One of the new teachers was standing next to the door when I came through. I just stuck my tongue out at him as I passed. I didn’t think about him again the rest of the day. I had better things to think about. Like ways to get out of classes and smoke. Honestly that was a lot more fun than boring math or history or English. Science I stuck around for though, that one Mr. Wilcox teaches you how to blow things up. Now that’s a fun class. It was the class I got called out of too. In the middle of class, Nellie Howard came skipping in with a note from the office. She’s such a whore. We used to be friends but now she’s a popular brat and I’m not.
I tried to decipher the signature on little scrape of paper, but there was no such luck. I would just have to see who wanted me when I got down to the office. The teacher I had stuck my tongue out at this morning was standing outside the office waiting when I got there. “Follow me,” he ordered. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, but I followed after him anyway. I considered playing a prank on him later as I followed him through the empty hallways. We were at the back door before I stopped and looked up at him giving him a funny look. “C’mon,” he ordered gruffly grabbing my upper arm.
“Hey!” I cried trying to pull away. His grip was firm as steel, but he wasn’t hurting me. “Let me go,” I ordered my face scrunching up like a pouty little kid’s. He ignored me and continued dragging me outside. My feet stumbled over each other as I was forced to keep pace. I’ll admit I was actually kind of scared as I caught sight of the van sitting behind the building. “Help!” I screamed.
The teacher (whose name I had never bothered to learn) dragged me around in front of him and clapped a hand to my mouth. My feet dangled in the air as he hoisted me to my chest and continued walking towards the van. I tried to bit his hand, but that kind of thing only works in cartoons and movies, I’m certain of it, because I couldn’t manage to move my mouth enough to get at his hand. I was tossed in the back of the van where arms wrapped around me, pinning me to somebody else and a strip of duct tape was slapped to my mouth, silencing me. I squirmed and writhed to no avail before I just slouched and gave my most annoyed pouty face.
“This the one?” one of the guys asked. There were five of them in the van and they all looked like they were in a gang…a very white gang.
“Yup, I saw him drop her off this morning. You checked her yet Rev?” The teacher asked as he climbed into the front of the van. The driver started the van and pulled away from the school.
“Not yet,” the guy holding me sighed. “I was just letting her get her fight out first,” he explained. Me? Stop fighting? Never! I was simply biding my time. One of the arms let go of me and a hand reached up and brushed back my hair. I squirmed and squealed against the tape. “Hold still,” the guy called the Rev ordered. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he promised. He looked at both sides of my neck and then at my wrists and arms. “I got nothing. So unless he’s biting her somewhere else…”
“I ain’t checkin’,” all of them said at once. What was that supposed to mean. Of course no one had bitten me. No one would ever bite me. I’d kick their ass if they tried. I was going to beat these guys up too. I promised myself that. Even if they were all twice as big and probably twice as strong as I was. I would still find a way to manage it.
“Who gets to explain?” the first guy who spoke asked.
They all looked towards the teacher and he sighed. “Fine, fine,” he muttered. “Alright, my name isn't Mr. Preston. I’m Brian Haner and these are my buddies. We’re vampire hunters and today we’re after your little ‘buddy’ Joe Jonas and his brothers. They’re not the nice guys everyone tries to make them out to be. They’re vampires. And we’re here to kill them. You’re our bait.” I gave him a look that said I wasn’t an idiot and he needed to be hospitalized. “Told you she wouldn’t believe us,” the guy said smacking the driver’s arm.
“Ain’t my fault,” the driver said. “Besides, we don’t need her to believe us. We just need her to draw those three little bloodsuckers out.”
“Rev, Christ,” the fifth guy finally spoke up. “Tie her up, I think we have company already.” Haner and the driver both chuckled happily. The first guy who had spoke and Rev both grabbed lengths of rope. Rev tied up my arms while Christ bound my legs together. I squirmed and glared at men who were intent on looking out the back of the van.
“They still look like a bunch of ridiculous sissies,” the fifth guy reaching under a tarp and grabbing a sawed-off shotgun. A sharp cry of panic tried to push past the tape. Where they really going to kill my friends? I couldn’t let them do that! I squirmed even more furiously trying to get out of my ropes so I could do something.
I felt the van start bouncing. We had made it outside of town to the one dirt road within a hundred miles which meant no one would even be able to see what was going on. The van came to a stop and the five men piled out. Some part of my mind heard what they were saying out there, but I ignored it trying to get free. The van door slid open and I saw Joe with a look of relief on his face. “Let’s get you out of here Mary-Sue,” he said reaching for me and grabbing a knife someone had left sitting on the van floor.
He tugged me out of the van and onto my feet and pulled me towards the back of it where the five guys stood facing Nick and Kevin. Joe tore the tape off my mouth and grabbed my neck. “Hey Hunters! Who wins now?” Joe asked tilting my head to the side and hissing.
I looked up out of the corner of my eye and saw real, pointy fangs sticking out of Joe’s mouth. “Hey!” I cried trying to squirm away from him. “I’m your friend!”
He looked down at me and grinned. “Nothing personal Mary-Sue,” he promised. I growled and threw my head back into his chest. Red and black spots started popping in front of my eyes and my knees went weak. I heard Joe swear before I slipped into unconsciousness.
I woke up to hear an owl hoot. I opened my eyes and saw stars above me and fire light flickering off to the side. I groaned and looked around me to see that the five “hunters” were sitting around the fire with their attention focused on me. “You’re awake,” the driver said with a sigh of relief. “Good. We were afraid you might have really hurt yourself. Head butting a vampire is brave, but stupid. You did good,” he said with a nod. I couldn’t see his eyes as they were hidden behind aviator glasses.
“What happened to—“
“The vamps are dead,” the fifth one cut me off. “Actually, we have you to thank for that. You might make a hunter one day.”
The other four stared at the fifth guy for a moment before laughing. His face turned bright red before he stormed away. “That’s Zack,” Brian Haner explained. “He usually don’t compliment people much so we have to tease him when he does.”
“You know…we could ask her what were talking about this afternoon,” the Rev said.
The four remaining men looked at each other and nodded before looking at me. “Want to be a hunter?” Christ asked.
“Me? Heck yeah!”
You see my best friend was Joe Jonas. I know cool right. I’ve never thought of Joe as a rock star so being friends with him was always just being friends. That’s not a bad thing is it? Anyway, Joe dropped me off at school one day. Most of the kids were used to this and of course all of the girls (and some of the guys) were so jealous that I got a ride from him. I never got what the big deal was about it. They’re just my friends after all. I guess it’s one of those silly fangirl things that I’ll never be able to understand.
One of the new teachers was standing next to the door when I came through. I just stuck my tongue out at him as I passed. I didn’t think about him again the rest of the day. I had better things to think about. Like ways to get out of classes and smoke. Honestly that was a lot more fun than boring math or history or English. Science I stuck around for though, that one Mr. Wilcox teaches you how to blow things up. Now that’s a fun class. It was the class I got called out of too. In the middle of class, Nellie Howard came skipping in with a note from the office. She’s such a whore. We used to be friends but now she’s a popular brat and I’m not.
I tried to decipher the signature on little scrape of paper, but there was no such luck. I would just have to see who wanted me when I got down to the office. The teacher I had stuck my tongue out at this morning was standing outside the office waiting when I got there. “Follow me,” he ordered. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, but I followed after him anyway. I considered playing a prank on him later as I followed him through the empty hallways. We were at the back door before I stopped and looked up at him giving him a funny look. “C’mon,” he ordered gruffly grabbing my upper arm.
“Hey!” I cried trying to pull away. His grip was firm as steel, but he wasn’t hurting me. “Let me go,” I ordered my face scrunching up like a pouty little kid’s. He ignored me and continued dragging me outside. My feet stumbled over each other as I was forced to keep pace. I’ll admit I was actually kind of scared as I caught sight of the van sitting behind the building. “Help!” I screamed.
The teacher (whose name I had never bothered to learn) dragged me around in front of him and clapped a hand to my mouth. My feet dangled in the air as he hoisted me to my chest and continued walking towards the van. I tried to bit his hand, but that kind of thing only works in cartoons and movies, I’m certain of it, because I couldn’t manage to move my mouth enough to get at his hand. I was tossed in the back of the van where arms wrapped around me, pinning me to somebody else and a strip of duct tape was slapped to my mouth, silencing me. I squirmed and writhed to no avail before I just slouched and gave my most annoyed pouty face.
“This the one?” one of the guys asked. There were five of them in the van and they all looked like they were in a gang…a very white gang.
“Yup, I saw him drop her off this morning. You checked her yet Rev?” The teacher asked as he climbed into the front of the van. The driver started the van and pulled away from the school.
“Not yet,” the guy holding me sighed. “I was just letting her get her fight out first,” he explained. Me? Stop fighting? Never! I was simply biding my time. One of the arms let go of me and a hand reached up and brushed back my hair. I squirmed and squealed against the tape. “Hold still,” the guy called the Rev ordered. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he promised. He looked at both sides of my neck and then at my wrists and arms. “I got nothing. So unless he’s biting her somewhere else…”
“I ain’t checkin’,” all of them said at once. What was that supposed to mean. Of course no one had bitten me. No one would ever bite me. I’d kick their ass if they tried. I was going to beat these guys up too. I promised myself that. Even if they were all twice as big and probably twice as strong as I was. I would still find a way to manage it.
“Who gets to explain?” the first guy who spoke asked.
They all looked towards the teacher and he sighed. “Fine, fine,” he muttered. “Alright, my name isn't Mr. Preston. I’m Brian Haner and these are my buddies. We’re vampire hunters and today we’re after your little ‘buddy’ Joe Jonas and his brothers. They’re not the nice guys everyone tries to make them out to be. They’re vampires. And we’re here to kill them. You’re our bait.” I gave him a look that said I wasn’t an idiot and he needed to be hospitalized. “Told you she wouldn’t believe us,” the guy said smacking the driver’s arm.
“Ain’t my fault,” the driver said. “Besides, we don’t need her to believe us. We just need her to draw those three little bloodsuckers out.”
“Rev, Christ,” the fifth guy finally spoke up. “Tie her up, I think we have company already.” Haner and the driver both chuckled happily. The first guy who had spoke and Rev both grabbed lengths of rope. Rev tied up my arms while Christ bound my legs together. I squirmed and glared at men who were intent on looking out the back of the van.
“They still look like a bunch of ridiculous sissies,” the fifth guy reaching under a tarp and grabbing a sawed-off shotgun. A sharp cry of panic tried to push past the tape. Where they really going to kill my friends? I couldn’t let them do that! I squirmed even more furiously trying to get out of my ropes so I could do something.
I felt the van start bouncing. We had made it outside of town to the one dirt road within a hundred miles which meant no one would even be able to see what was going on. The van came to a stop and the five men piled out. Some part of my mind heard what they were saying out there, but I ignored it trying to get free. The van door slid open and I saw Joe with a look of relief on his face. “Let’s get you out of here Mary-Sue,” he said reaching for me and grabbing a knife someone had left sitting on the van floor.
He tugged me out of the van and onto my feet and pulled me towards the back of it where the five guys stood facing Nick and Kevin. Joe tore the tape off my mouth and grabbed my neck. “Hey Hunters! Who wins now?” Joe asked tilting my head to the side and hissing.
I looked up out of the corner of my eye and saw real, pointy fangs sticking out of Joe’s mouth. “Hey!” I cried trying to squirm away from him. “I’m your friend!”
He looked down at me and grinned. “Nothing personal Mary-Sue,” he promised. I growled and threw my head back into his chest. Red and black spots started popping in front of my eyes and my knees went weak. I heard Joe swear before I slipped into unconsciousness.
I woke up to hear an owl hoot. I opened my eyes and saw stars above me and fire light flickering off to the side. I groaned and looked around me to see that the five “hunters” were sitting around the fire with their attention focused on me. “You’re awake,” the driver said with a sigh of relief. “Good. We were afraid you might have really hurt yourself. Head butting a vampire is brave, but stupid. You did good,” he said with a nod. I couldn’t see his eyes as they were hidden behind aviator glasses.
“What happened to—“
“The vamps are dead,” the fifth one cut me off. “Actually, we have you to thank for that. You might make a hunter one day.”
The other four stared at the fifth guy for a moment before laughing. His face turned bright red before he stormed away. “That’s Zack,” Brian Haner explained. “He usually don’t compliment people much so we have to tease him when he does.”
“You know…we could ask her what were talking about this afternoon,” the Rev said.
The four remaining men looked at each other and nodded before looking at me. “Want to be a hunter?” Christ asked.
“Me? Heck yeah!”