Deaf

You take a deep breathe, leaning back against the fully pillows. You really can't handle anothe night alone. It's too painful, too deafening. Deafening sounds like a strange word to use, don't you think? It means you can't hear, that you aren't fully aware of what is going around you. You're aware, painfully aware. You can hear every creak, every movement and every one of your heart beats. It tells you how alone you are. That in it's self is deafening, consuming.

You look into your reflection. Who is that? It can't be you...tired eyes, deathly pale skin, dull eyes, thin face. It is though, this is what you have become.

Yes, that's right scream. No one can hear you though. You wish they would though, at the same time glad they can't. You're strange enough, no need to add to it. You turn away fom the mirror, leaning your back against the aching reminder of your own failures.

Everyone looks up to you, you know. You're an imspiration, beaten the odds, a strong person. If only they could see you now. Pathetic.

You look down at the scars on your arms. Why didn't you end it then? Put yourself out of your fucking misery.

"Brother? Khyber? Are you okay?" A sweet little girl looks at you from the door way, holding a sleepy baby boy on her hip.

Now you remember.

Your smile doesn't feel so fake when you look at her and say

"I'm fine, Come on, let's put the trouble maker to bed, and the baby"

She giggles and allows you to take the baby boy. She takes your hand, not because she's scared or anything. She just knows you need her. You take another deep breathe, it doesn't hurt now does it?

When the children are in bed, you return to your domain, reluctantly. You don't want to face the deafness again. You lay down and curl up in the warm blanket. You see your reflection on the corner of the mirror, glaring at it, you roll over in an attempt to escape it.

You gasp when you feel your phone go off, scrambling to get it before it wakes the smaller ones. Flipping it open, you read

You're not alone, wait for me? Can you see my heart beat? Open your eyes and see the sound.

He really does know you well, it seems. He says what you needed to hear.

So, can you finally see his heartbeat? Are still deaf? A smile reaches your face, a true one. You see his heart beat for you everyday, don't you? In every kiss, In every hug, it's always there.

You look around the room, you see your reflection. Your eyes don't seem so tired anymore.", you don't seem so pale and thin either. Can they really change you that much? Yes.

You can see the sound now, finally. You're no longer Deaf.