Broken Stars.

I watched as Shawn laid there. He stared at the ceiling only blinking when necessary. I watched him carefully and waited for him to breathe again. Occasionally he'd twitched as if a sour thought crossed his mind. Being together for a whole year would make you think we could talk about anything, but that's not exactly so. Some topics are just to sore... I'm sure if I asked, he'd tell me... Or give me something, but I hated being a nag. My contradicting attitude was pissing me off, and I really couldn't decide what to do.

"Hey Austin, why aren't you asleep?" Shit... How did he know I was awake?

"I'm trying babe. I'd just be more comfortable knowing you were sound asleep too."

He laughed and shrugged. "I'll sleep eventually, sleeping is just whatever. I'll get around to it though babe. Don't worry bout it." How could he say that? Don't worry about it? Of course I'd worry about it... Or him better yet. His lack of sleep is almost disturbing. He was like a super human; he always had energy and a happy face. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was doing some sort of drug.

"I'm... Alright babe." I cuddled him and drew small patterns into the shirt he was wearing. Soon I feel into a restless sleep.

------

"Good morning baby." I felt Shawns lips press against mine as I opened my eyes.

"Morning." I yawned; I wasn't real enthusiastic about waking up. My back was kind of sore from laying in an awkward position all night. Each time I'd stretch out a joint would pop and it'd cause Shawn to laugh.

"Maybe next time I should lay on you." I nodded in response and kissed his cheek. He was normally the one to lay on me.

We laid there for a while, he looked content being here so I didn't want to bother him. He quietly counted the panels of wood on the ceiling and smiled once he finished.

"So Shawn, whats your plan for Shawn and Austin day?" I chuckled, it was amazing what simple things could make this boy smile.

"Well what I was thinking was that we'd start off doing nothing, like so, then go do something a little bit later, which it's almost that time, and then end the day with me doing something to you. Then possibly a shower."

"Wait... What?" I asked and looked at him in shock. He bit his bottom lip and winked at me.

"Take what you thought you heard, and run wild with it. I can almost positively promise you that you're right." He kissed my cheek and got up. Him do something to me? Shawn...The innocent boy that I deflowered only a year ago...Wanted to actually do something dirty..Himself? I had never asked him to... Mainly because I figured he still wasn't completely comfortable with it. I mean sure, he had given me a blow job or two, but that was out of complete desperation. I can honestly say I have never been this excited.

I jumped out of bed and followed Shawn out of the room, staying close to his heels as he walked. He acted if he was completely unaware that I was right behind him. He stopped in the kitchen and turned around to face me once he got to the fridge.

"Why later tonight?" I laughed and placed my hands on his hips drawing him closer. "I mean... There's no better time then the present baby."

He smiled and shrugged. "I dunno, I mean we could... But that would just mess up the whole plan."

I couldn't help but be annoying that entire day. I knew I was being annoying, because I annoyed myself. Everywhere we went I'd try to get him to cave; moaning in his ear quietly as we sat at the movies, purposefully dropping my fork at the table so I'd have to go down there and get it just to casually rub against his leg, and then the car rides were just torture because he insisted on driving and that gave me a whole range of new ways to try to tantalize him.

It truly wasn't my fault though, the idea of him doing this was so foreign to me! I wanted it so bad though; I was literally dying in my seat.

"Shawn... Are we almost done?" I asked drawing out every other vowel.

"Austin, shut up."

"Baby...Come on." I twirled a strand of his hair between my finger as we parked off to the side of the road.

"Jesus Christ child, you'd think you were some nerdy virgin." He sighed and looked at me, still gripping the steering wheel.

"It's kind of like I am baby, I mean this is kind of my first time with you... You can't blame me. I mean lately we haven't done anything, you've been hopping all over that Steven kids dick for what seems like forever now."

Shawn's annoyed look turned into an annoyed glare.

"Why... Hah... Yeah Shawn and Austin day is officially over." He chuckled as he put the car in reverse.

He acted as if my world crashing down around me was no big deal, clearly I was exaggerating, but that's really what it felt like.

"Oh come on Shawn, I'm sorry." I grabbed his hand off the clutch and kissed it repeatedly. "I'm sorry! I'm just needy right now." He shook his head as he drove in the direction to our house.

"No, having sex on Jesus's day of rest is bad anyways. Plus, I have homework, so between that and the other things I was planning on doing to you, we'd get no sleep. We'd have to stay home on Monday and you're all about being punctual at school now... And what you said was a total turn off, your attitude lately has been a total turn off." He sighed and turned up the radio.

I huffed and I puffed the rest of the ride home, he never looked at me once though. Probably some what out of guilt. I didn't want to be mad at him, but I was. I know he had sexual urges, but he wasn't nearly as weakened by them like I was. It truly was like he was the girl in the relationship. He could threaten me with sex without a second thought and I would bend over backwards to do his bidding.

We arrived at the house and I swear I must have slammed all the doors I touched; my door, the front door, and then the bathroom door. I stripped myself of all my clothes except for my undergarments and climbed into bed. I refused to do my homework under this much stress. My grades wouldn't slip so I wasn't concerned. I just wanted to sleep this off before I blew up at Shawn over something this trivial.

I must have fallen asleep because... well when Shawn got into bed I woke up and flipped over. I was obviously still sore about the whole situation, and I could hear him chuckle which almost made me want to flail my body around in a two year old tantrum sort of way, but I held my composure.

My mind was filled with sensual dreams of what I wish could have happened, what I imagined it would have felt like, but never did. I knew Shawn wasn't completely heartless, and that he wouldn't put me through this much pain for a copious amount of time, but still...It's the principal of the matter.
------

Once five o'clock came around, I rushed to get ready. I looked like absolute shit but I didn't care today. Not one bit.

Shawn was absolutely radiant though and this drove me crazy all over again. I didn't know if he did this on purpose or if it was purely by coincidence. Either way, today was going to be a long day.