Status: Active
All Because of You
for this;
Now I knew what brain scans were. They were sad excuses to lock you up in a room for almost hours. They stripped you of all your clothes and put you in a white gown. After that, they laid you down on a white board that would then move you into a huge white tube that reminded me of Star Wars or something.
“Relax, honey, it’s just an MRA," Nurse Lindsay said to me with a sweet smile. I glared up at her as I tried to calm down. When I decided it wasn’t smart to look at the person I hate the most while trying to calm down, I looked up at the ceiling.
I would have fallen asleep if it weren’t for the constant beepings and sounds of the machine moving around. What were they looking for? And why did it take so long for them to give me an MRA if I got here at least three days ago? I mean, Jesse just got here and she went through one.
Once Nurse Lindsey told me we were “going for a walk,” I knew where I was really going. Despite all the prejudging I had done on our little walk down to the white room, the MRA went by quickly. Quicker than I thought it would. Nurse Lindsey – God, I hate that name. So let’s just call her NL from now on, okay? Great. – NL, told me some “fun facts,” as she puts it, about MRA and how they are very necessary and can last from 10 minutes to an hour. That was when I shuddered and my eyes widened. I glared at the back of her head, wishing I could kick her.
Soon enough, I was off the table and back into my uniform for the rest of the day.
“Now you can go sit in the reading area,” NL smiled at me with her hands on my shoulders.
I bit my lip to keep from yelling at her. All I did was swallow hard and nod once. Keeping my teeth pressed nice and tightly against my tongue, I followed her over to the “reading area,” which was really just a small library where we could talk. The hospital was getting better and worse at the same time.
When I entered, I saw only Bethany and Alex sitting at a small round table. Well, they were the only ones I knew. I sat down next to them and a smile stretched across Alex’s face.
“So,” He started. “How it go?” He asked in a perky voice.
I only glared at him and shook my head.
“Not like I expect you to answer,” He said casually.
“Was it absolutely terrible?” Jesse appeared out of nowhere. She took a seat directly across from me and leaned in.
I shrugged.
“Write it down,” Alex said, passing me a small slip of notebook paper and a felt tip pen.
I stared at the pen for a few seconds before finally taking it.
I didn’t think they would trust us with slips of paper. We might cut ourselves with the edge of it.
Alex tried to hold back the roar of laughter in his chest as he read what I wrote.
“You’re funny,” Jesse mentioned. “So, how was it?” She asked.
Short.
“Lucky bitch,” She muttered.
******
I was sitting in a chair next to Alex as we waited for Dr. Coleman to hurry up and give us the lesson. We were far off where no one could hear us. I sat there playing with the hem of my white shirt while he watched me with his curious brown eyes.
“What color are your eyes?” He asked me quietly. I looked up at him through my eyelashes and a small smile played onto his lips. “They’re nice,” He said.
I grinned a small thank you.
“So, can I know why you’re here now?” He asked.
I nodded and stared at him.
“Are you going to tell me?” He chuckled.
I shook my head no. I was going to let him know why I was here, but I wasn’t going to tell him. I wasn’t talking.
“But you said I could know,” He furrowed his eyebrows.
I nodded and chuckled at his confused expression.
“Can I guess?” He asked.
I bit my lip and smiled, nodding.
“Ok,” He chuckled and readjusted his position in his chair. “Drugs,” He said.
I shook my head.
“Cutting?”
I cocked my head and moved my hands around, signaling that that was part of the reason.
“Suicide?” He asked in a low voice.
I then remembered that he never told me why he was here. I didn’t know his whole story at all; not that he didn’t know mine, but I wanted to hear his before I told him mine. And with that, I shrugged.
“Come on, Cassidy!" He let out a desperate, and disbelieving laugh. "Tell me, please?"
I mouthed, “You first,” to him.
“Oh, I see how it is,” He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll tell you why I’m here, but I’m not telling you my reasons yet,” He had a serious tone.
I nodded.
“Suicide,” He said lowly.
I nodded quickly, letting him know that that was what I had done too.
“You tried killing yourself too?” He whispered.
I nodded.
“Why?”
I kept quiet and stared into his brown eyes. He stared back into mine. If it weren’t for the stinging in my eyes, I would have forgotten that I needed to blink.
“Please tell me. I’ll tell you,” He said softly. I opened my mouth to speak for the very first time in three weeks. My voice was most likely going to be hoarse when I spoke. I prepared myself to speak, when Nurse Lindsey walked through the door.
Closing my mouth, I gave her a look as she smiled warmly at me.
Poor Alex. I guess he will never know.
“Relax, honey, it’s just an MRA," Nurse Lindsay said to me with a sweet smile. I glared up at her as I tried to calm down. When I decided it wasn’t smart to look at the person I hate the most while trying to calm down, I looked up at the ceiling.
I would have fallen asleep if it weren’t for the constant beepings and sounds of the machine moving around. What were they looking for? And why did it take so long for them to give me an MRA if I got here at least three days ago? I mean, Jesse just got here and she went through one.
Once Nurse Lindsey told me we were “going for a walk,” I knew where I was really going. Despite all the prejudging I had done on our little walk down to the white room, the MRA went by quickly. Quicker than I thought it would. Nurse Lindsey – God, I hate that name. So let’s just call her NL from now on, okay? Great. – NL, told me some “fun facts,” as she puts it, about MRA and how they are very necessary and can last from 10 minutes to an hour. That was when I shuddered and my eyes widened. I glared at the back of her head, wishing I could kick her.
Soon enough, I was off the table and back into my uniform for the rest of the day.
“Now you can go sit in the reading area,” NL smiled at me with her hands on my shoulders.
I bit my lip to keep from yelling at her. All I did was swallow hard and nod once. Keeping my teeth pressed nice and tightly against my tongue, I followed her over to the “reading area,” which was really just a small library where we could talk. The hospital was getting better and worse at the same time.
When I entered, I saw only Bethany and Alex sitting at a small round table. Well, they were the only ones I knew. I sat down next to them and a smile stretched across Alex’s face.
“So,” He started. “How it go?” He asked in a perky voice.
I only glared at him and shook my head.
“Not like I expect you to answer,” He said casually.
“Was it absolutely terrible?” Jesse appeared out of nowhere. She took a seat directly across from me and leaned in.
I shrugged.
“Write it down,” Alex said, passing me a small slip of notebook paper and a felt tip pen.
I stared at the pen for a few seconds before finally taking it.
I didn’t think they would trust us with slips of paper. We might cut ourselves with the edge of it.
Alex tried to hold back the roar of laughter in his chest as he read what I wrote.
“You’re funny,” Jesse mentioned. “So, how was it?” She asked.
Short.
“Lucky bitch,” She muttered.
******
I was sitting in a chair next to Alex as we waited for Dr. Coleman to hurry up and give us the lesson. We were far off where no one could hear us. I sat there playing with the hem of my white shirt while he watched me with his curious brown eyes.
“What color are your eyes?” He asked me quietly. I looked up at him through my eyelashes and a small smile played onto his lips. “They’re nice,” He said.
I grinned a small thank you.
“So, can I know why you’re here now?” He asked.
I nodded and stared at him.
“Are you going to tell me?” He chuckled.
I shook my head no. I was going to let him know why I was here, but I wasn’t going to tell him. I wasn’t talking.
“But you said I could know,” He furrowed his eyebrows.
I nodded and chuckled at his confused expression.
“Can I guess?” He asked.
I bit my lip and smiled, nodding.
“Ok,” He chuckled and readjusted his position in his chair. “Drugs,” He said.
I shook my head.
“Cutting?”
I cocked my head and moved my hands around, signaling that that was part of the reason.
“Suicide?” He asked in a low voice.
I then remembered that he never told me why he was here. I didn’t know his whole story at all; not that he didn’t know mine, but I wanted to hear his before I told him mine. And with that, I shrugged.
“Come on, Cassidy!" He let out a desperate, and disbelieving laugh. "Tell me, please?"
I mouthed, “You first,” to him.
“Oh, I see how it is,” He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll tell you why I’m here, but I’m not telling you my reasons yet,” He had a serious tone.
I nodded.
“Suicide,” He said lowly.
I nodded quickly, letting him know that that was what I had done too.
“You tried killing yourself too?” He whispered.
I nodded.
“Why?”
I kept quiet and stared into his brown eyes. He stared back into mine. If it weren’t for the stinging in my eyes, I would have forgotten that I needed to blink.
“Please tell me. I’ll tell you,” He said softly. I opened my mouth to speak for the very first time in three weeks. My voice was most likely going to be hoarse when I spoke. I prepared myself to speak, when Nurse Lindsey walked through the door.
Closing my mouth, I gave her a look as she smiled warmly at me.
Poor Alex. I guess he will never know.
♠ ♠ ♠
dontkillmedontkillmedontkillmeI'm sowwy D:
This is terrible, I know.
I just haven't updated in so long :O
But this chapter is dedicated to Faith (Emo Kisses) because she is amazing and I love her so much and she has helped me through so much, and I hope that I am kind of helping her too :D
So go on her page and comment telling her that you want to do her.
and comment :D:D