I'll Be Fine, I Swear.

Adam never wrote me. He never called. He never talked to me again. It’s been seven years since our last interaction. I know he tried his hardest to make our last moments together happy, but… they just ended up being bitter sweet.

I do miss him terribly. I miss the way he said my name. I miss the mischievous glint in his cerulean eyes. I miss the way the Californian sunset highlighted the lighter blonde streaks in his unruly hair as we watched the ocean from the beach. But most importantly, I simply miss his presence. Just the fact that he isn't here is enough to depress me, sometimes. I love him. I can't change that, no matter what.

"Baby, come back to bed. It's too early for you to get up."

I feel Matthew's arm snake around my waist and pull me into his naked chest, letting the warmth of his torso relax my back muscles. I wasn't able to let him go. Matt was my rock all through my teenage life, and I couldn't give him up. He's good to me, and he truly does love me. I love him too, just... not as much as...

"I can't sleep, Mattie. I think I'm gonna make breakfast. After all, it's," I pause and look at the clock, "8:30am. Huh."

"Exactly. Too early!" He yawns and falls backwards, the sheets just barely covering his lower regions.

I roll my eyes, smiling and stand up, grabbing his dressing gown from the back of the bedroom door. I walk to the kitchen, making a 3 quick bowls of cereal. My 4 year old boys will be up soon whining for food. They always are up early, after all. And, I love them so much. They’re my whole life, along with Matt. As much as I don’t want to, I need to forget Adam.

"Mommy, we can't sleep."

I look at my twin boys standing in the doorway, holding hands. I immediately break out into a knowing smile and pull out some chairs, setting down a bowl of Lucky Charms each. "Now, don't make a mess," I warn them while putting another heaped spoon of my own Lucky Charms into my mouth. I'm such a kid.

I study their small faces as they nearly inhale the food happily. Jamie and Freddie. There's not much difference between them. They both share their father's curly dark brown hair, while they have my eyes. However, Jamie is the slightly more sociable one - meaning, he gets into a lot of mischief. That being said, there's still no real difference - even Matt gets their names wrong sometimes.

I married Matt at the tender age of 19. His family talked with my family, and we were… ‘set up’. Of course, like any normal person, I was thoroughly pissed off at first, but after I realised sulking wasn’t going to do anything I gave in. Apparently, it was because our families knew we would always end up together somehow. In ways, it makes me angry that I would never have anything romantic to do with Adam even if we were meant to be together.

Anyway, on our honeymoon in Italy, he got me pregnant with my two gorgeous little boys, and ended up running the family business with his Dad when we returned home, just living in the lap of luxury. It’s been… mind blowing, really. If I was 16 again and you’d asked me what I thought I’d be doing when I was 23, my life right now wouldn’t even come close to my answer.

"Honey, you're daydreaming again," Matt whispers into my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am, Mattie. I love you so much."

He turns my chin so I face him and presses his lips softly to mine. "I love you too, babe."

"Eww," James complains to his twin, pulling a cute little face before grabbing a biscuit from the packet on the table and chomping on it.

I laugh at him and push Matt off me, going off to take a shower. When I finish, I pull on some light jean shorts and a red and black flannel shirt before grabbing my camera. I slip it over my head and go back into the kitchen, where Freddie is sitting on Matt's shoulders.

I smile at them. Freddie is... well, I really can't explain. I can't explain any of the happiness him and Jamie give me. I suppose it's the joys of being a mother. There's truly no other feeling like it in the world.

He looks up after I snap a cute picture, smiling widely. "Mommy! You look pretty today."

"Why thank you, Freddie," I kiss his forehead softly and walk out to the hall, pulling on my brown leather Seychelles Lou ankle boots. "I'm going out for a walk, darling! Try not to get the kids too hyper!" I call before walking out of the house.

It's a gorgeous day outside. Birdsong fills the cool morning air, making me shiver lightly as I walk down the path. The bright sunlight streams through the green leaves on the trees lining the road, decorating the concrete with golden dots. I smile, content with the view that lies before me. I take a picture of the light shining behind the trees, making the green seem much more vibrant than usual.

I eventually walk into town, sitting myself down on the edge of the Central Fountain. I trail my fingertips lightly across the clear, rippling blue water, staring at the reflection of myself.

I’ve grown up. I look more mature now. It makes me wonder what time has done to Adam – is he still as gorgeous as he was before? Or is he even better looking now?

Ugh, I really need to stop doing this. But… he’s like a disease. He won’t leave my mind alone. To be honest, sometimes I wish he never kissed me on our last day. It would have made my life that much easier, knowing that anything I did with other men wouldn’t really hurt him.

“Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”

I look up as a rather tall man takes a seat beside me, looking into the water.

“Yeah, breathtaking,” I mumble quietly, pulling a leaf around in circles with my finger.

“Something bothering you?” He asks me, never taking his eyes off the fountain. When I don’t answer, he just smiles and looks at me. “I usually take morning walks to clear my head. It works, most of the time.”

I can’t help but return his contagious grin, nodding my head. “Yeah, I guess. Just… memories, I suppose,” I say, not really wanting to spill myself to a complete stranger. “I should leave, though. I’m supposed to be spending the day with my kids. Nice talking to you… uh…?”

“Pete.”

“Katie.” I smile and stand up, walking away from his gorgeous smile.