When Happily Ever After Fails

Ricky had to admit it, truth or dare had gotten a tad out of hand the night before. Half of the group's clothing had been lost and just as many secrets had flied off of drunken and sober tongues. It hadn't been long after they had started playing that Danny had pulled out two eighths of vodka. Many things had been discovered so far, not all of them good things.

Apparently, Alex hadn't been lying about the abuse he had endured at home, and he wasn't as over it as he appeared. Danny had left California after his father had had a complete psychotic break and he wasn't willing to step foot in foster care. Even though they had been broken up for a little under two years, Brad was still pining after Danny. Since moving to New York, Tucker had been searching for the mother who had abandoned his father and him a few weeks after he was born.

He had to hand it to himself, compared to the others, questioning his sexuality didn't seem quite so bad.

As soon as he admitted this out loud, Ricky knew that it was incorrect. The words fleeing from his lips just seemed twisted and foreign. Joy flickered in both Alex and Danny's eyes, and Ricky was uncomfortable with the feeling that flew into his stomach. He was not accustomed to the guilt that flickered in his mind.

When he woke up that morning, Ricky felt like he had a hangover despite not having a drop of alcohol the night before. He couldn't think of anything that could have induced the headache and nausea besides that it had just been one of those nights. The sunlight streaming through the cracks in the blinds made his eyes hurt and he couldn't help but try to adjust by squinting his eyes.

He squirmed between the bed sheets and froze when he felt the heat of skin pressed up against his own. There would be no more waking up in increments, he needed to be awake [i[now. As he forced his eyes to be wide open once again, he noticed that there wasn't someone pressed against his side, there were multiple someones.

Everyone had just piled on the living room floor and passed out. Ricky smiled for a moment at the sight, but the haunting reminder of how he had spent his last two weeks in California put a severe damper on the situation. Ricky sighed in bitter distaste at the notion that every memory would be forever tainted and that that would affect him for the rest of his life. It just wasn't fair that no matter what situation he was in, he would always be able to relate it back to his childhood.

Ricky pulled himself out of the pile and meandered over to the kitchen. As he started to scramble some eggs for breakfast, he couldn't help but become enraged with himself. At what point did he have to stop blaming his parents for what he was? They may have dictated his past, but they had absolutely no control over his current situation, and Alex had ensured that they could not harm him in the future.

Ricky hissed in pain as he burned himself on the stove. Wrapping a cloth soaked in cold water around the angry red welt growing on his hand, Ricky turned the stove off and left the eggs for whomever might want them. At this point, he left the apartment. Tucker had gotten used to this routine, and Ricky left it up to him t explain it to the others when they awoke.

The familiar jingle of the coffee shop made him smile. It had taken him months to find this place, and his severe dislike for coffee itself hadn't helped him t find it. One of the familiar waitresses waved at him, almost dropping several orders in the process and forcing them both to laugh softly at the thought of the ruckus that the crash would have caused in the early morning stillness.

"It's good to see you back here again, Mr. Baxter. It's been a while since you've played," one of the other waitresses said with a grin on her face. He grinned sheepishly before nodding in agreement. "It's right where it always is, right in the back room."

Ricky stepped into the room behind the counter and picked up his guitar. He had to store it here, if Tucker found out that he had sent for it and risked them both being exposed, Tucker more than likely would have skinned him alive.

God Left Yesterday, But I Remain.

The words had retained their meaning quite well, even after he had left. He still had to look out for himself, but he had taken it well and no one had been able to take that away from him so far, despite how hard they had tried. With a small smile, he tuned his guitar and left the back room and did what he did every morning that he came here.

"Only beginnings are easy
hang my heart out to dry
I know I've been wrong
you never meant to make me cry

they say I lost my soul that night
mine went down with yours too
so grab my hand and hold on tight
I know I'll make it through
cause god I love you," he sang.

His voice was quite quiet, but because of the near silence of the room, his voice still managed to ring out very clearly. It had always been his father who said he could sing, so he wasn't overly comfortable with the idea of playing loudly. After a few more songs, Ricky climbed off of the stool and returned his guitar to where he had retrieved it from. When he stepped out from behind the counter, he couldn't help but grimace at the sight. He brushed past his friends who were standing in the doorway with their mouths agape.

His cheeks started to flush with embarrassment as he realized that he had been caught. By the time that he could hear his friends voices calling after him, he had already managed to make his way halfway down the street. As someone caught up to him and grabbed his arm, he couldn't help but hiss and wrench it away. Spinning around, he glared at his huffing temporary nemesis: Tucker.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell us you could sing like that?" Tucker practically shouted. His enthusiasm for the topic showed clearly in his animated eyes.

"Why the fuck did you guys follow me here?" He snarled in retaliation. As Tucker read Ricky's facial expression, he took three calculated steps backward. Ricky had never quite figured out how to manage his temper, and Tucker was not really interested in having a public altercation with him. Tucker took another few steps backward before he dared to answer him.

"When you left, we woke up. They wanted to know where you went and I said I had no clue, but you left every morning. We chased after you, but by the time we were anywhere near caught up, you had ducked into this place and started playing. Playing well," Tucker explained hurriedly. "Now, I want you to listen closely. I play drums, Danny plays guitar, Brad kinda plays bass... sometimes, and you can really fucking sing. Are you picking up what I'm laying down?"

"The day that we form a band is the day that pigs fly," Ricky said flatly. Without another word, he turned and continued on his way back to their apartment. Their words still fell on his ears, but he ignored them as best he could until he go back into his kitchen. The god damned assholes hadn't even touched the eggs he had left them.

"Ricky, I could tell that you loved every second of it. Why wouldn't you want to at least give it a shot? We're not half horrible at what we do, and you're pretty decent," Danny said quietly. Sighing, Ricky turned back and stared at his friends as they shuffled in reluctantly after him. The door frame was filled with the four of them, and Ricky couldn't help but feel both guilty and outnumbered.

"I... I just can't... my dad..."

"Your dad?" Alex practically shrieked at him, "If you're going to still listen to every word your parents said to you, then what was the point of moving across the country? Make a decision that isn't based on spite and fear for once in your fucking life!"