Since You've Been Gone

Karma looked out her window into the rain. Tyler had left that morning for the month and a half long tour, and she was sure she would miss him much more than she did just now. It was the end now of January, and she wasn’t with him because of the baby. She didn’t want to take a risk going out onto the road while she was so close to having their daughter. She didn’t want to be on a bus in the middle of nothing when she went into labor.

She had been sitting in the big over-stuffed chair in their bedroom looking out at the rain for hours. She knew he would be calling soon, but she couldn’t stop missing him. She hated not being able to go with him. She tried to remind herself that it was only going to be for a month and a half and she’d be in his arms again. They had decided they would get married as soon as he got home, even though Karma would be very heavily pregnant. Tyler was tired of waiting on the marriage, and Karma was tired of him whining about it and agreed they had been engaged long enough.

The tour was going to end on February 27th in Seattle, Washington, and he would be home with her again on the 28th. Karma had set the wedding date for the fifth of March 2010, and had her mind set on planning the wedding while he was away to keep from missing him too much. But right now all she could do was focus on the rain. Something didn’t seem right about this tour. She wasn’t sure why, it was only a month and a half that he would be gone, but she couldn’t shake the feeling.

When the phone started to ring she ran to answer it, not worrying about her stomach. She wanted to hear his voice, to know his plane landed okay and he was alright. “Tyler?”

“Hey baby.” He said. His voice was tired; she could tell it had been a long flight. She wanted so much to be with him again. The night before she had cried herself to sleep, and he had held her the entire night, trying his best to calm her. Now he was in Minneapolis, and she was still in Los Angeles.

“How was the flight honey?” She asked him with an attempt to sound okay.

“Long.” He sighed, “But it wasn’t bad, and we are here now. The show isn’t until tomorrow night so I’ll get a chance to rest. How is everything there?”

“Quiet.” She said gently and lay down on the bed. “I miss you already.”

“I miss you too my darling.” He said. “But it won’t be long before we are together again. Maybe you could come out to one of the Nevada shows?”

“I’ll be so big by then Tyler.” She laughed. “I won’t fit in a car.”

“We’ll arrange something.” He laughed. “If you want to of course.”

“We’ll see baby.” Karma sighed and ran her hand over her tummy. “I don’t know that I’ll be in much of a mood to travel for one night.”

“I guess I can understand that. We’ll see when we get there. Well look babe; as much as I hate to hang up, I’m very tired.”

“Just stay on with me please…until I fall asleep?” She begged. She didn’t want to have to fall asleep without him.

“Alright baby, but if I fall asleep first I’m sorry.” He laughed. She laughed with him and went into the kitchen to get something to eat fast before lying down. Once she finished eating a banana and a glass of milk she went back up the stairs, still talking to him about nothing. They were good at having conversations about absolutely nothing and enjoying every second of it just to hear each other’s voices.

She lay down on their bed under the blankets and turned off the light. “Are you awake?” She asked gently.

“I’m awake…are you finally in bed?” He asked and yawned.

“Yea, I’m in bed and I’m nice and warm, thinking about you.” She said.

“I don’t want to find out you’ve spent another day sitting in that chair staring into nothing and not eating anything.” He said. “When I call tomorrow night you better be fed.”

“I’m sorry baby, but it was so hard to stay behind.”

“It was hard to leave you, especially now. I hate not being there…what if something happens?” He sighed. Karma sniffed and tried to make her body warmer under her blankets. It was never as warm without him there with her.

“Don’t think about that Tyler, you had to go out. I couldn’t keep you here forever.” She said. He sighed and yawned.

“I just hated leaving you so far along in the pregnancy. I can’t wait to get home to you, to marry you.” He said. Karma laughed a little bit.

“I’ll be happy when you are home too.” She said. They talked for several hours until he finally fell asleep before her. She spent some time on the phone listening to his breath and missing him, and finally she fell asleep too, never bothering to end the call.

When she woke up the next morning her phone had no battery life left and her cheek had an impression from where she had pressed her face against the pillow. She struggled to sit up and get the phone on its charger. Once she was sitting she worked to get standing so she could go and get some breakfast from her kitchen.

The first few days always seemed like the hardest on the occasion that she wasn’t able to go on the tours with him. Getting used to being alone in a house that was so big when there was only one person in it was what took the most effort. She cut a bagel and stuffed the halves into the toaster before pouring a glass of orange juice and getting cream cheese and an apple out of the refrigerator. She looked around at her kitchen and sighed with frustration. She would have to get the house in better shape, it was a mess, but she didn’t feel much like cleaning today.

She fixed her bagel and took her things up to her bedroom and lay down. She turned her cell phone back on in case Tyler called her. She knew in the daytime he would most likely be very busy, but the few times she had been at home while he was on tour he’d call her every chance he got.

She had only not gone on a tour with him twice before. The first time they weren’t living together yet and she wasn’t sure it would be a very good idea to leave on a national tour with a man she hadn’t spent a night with. That time she hadn’t hated being without him as much until he was nearly finished with the tour and she had realized how much she had fallen in love with him. It wasn’t until after that tour that she had slept with him the first time. The second tour she had stayed behind for she had planned to go with him but came down with a terrible flu two days before he left and couldn’t get out of bed let alone travel the country. During that tour he’d called her several times every day to make sure she was okay and when she’d gone to the hospital because she had started to cough blood he was insisting that he come home and cancel the remainder of the tour. The only reason he didn’t was because she wouldn’t let him, and the doctors said it was nothing to worry about and gave her medication that cleared the illness up in a couple of weeks.

There was a text message on her cell phone from him and she opened it to see what he had to say. It was only a good morning, but the thought of it was enough to make her feel a little better. She knew he was thinking about her too, and that was all that mattered right then. She could do this, she was sure everything would be okay now. It wasn’t that long that she wouldn’t be with him, and she would see him again and they would get married and have their baby. She worried a little bit that having the baby would make it so that she would end up at home without him a lot more often, but it was something she was willing to do to have him with her when he was home.

She sent one back quickly that only said good morning I love you. She ate her breakfast and checked her email before taking a shower and starting on the house work. She knew she had to keep busy and not think about being alone so much or she wouldn’t ever be okay with her situation. Once she finished getting her house cleaned she went to the market to get some food and a couple bridal magazines. She was ready to start planning the wedding. It wouldn’t be much of a wedding with such a short amount of planning time, but she didn’t need much. All she needed was him.