Since You've Been Gone

Her heart started to race and hysteria was starting to take over. She could see the phone on the ground where it had landed and she could hear Dave calling her name with panic, but she couldn’t grasp it. She was filled with horror and she could feel her heart getting ready to explode when finally the hysteria burst out of her lungs with sobs so violent she was screaming with hysteria.

“Karma! Karma! Calm Down Karma!” Dave shouted into the phone in an attempt to get her to pick the phone up again. “Pick up the phone!” Karma continued to sob violently for a few minutes, and she attempted with all her strength to collect herself enough to stop screaming. Finally she picked the phone up and took a deep shaky breath. “He’s still alive Karma, but we don’t know what’s going to happen. He was shot in the chest twice, and the doctors think one of the bullets went through his heart.”

“No.” she cried. “NO! This can’t be happening now, never. God please.” She begged and sobbed again. “I have to get out there, I have to see him.”

“Karma, no.” Dave started.

“He’s my life Dave. I can’t not see him, what if this is the last time?” She asked and the tears and sobs crawled up her throat again. “If I didn’t get to say goodbye…” She cried.

“You’re too far alon…”

“I’m coming out there!” She screamed. “Don’t tell me no!”

“Alright Karma, arrangements will be made immediately.” Dave said. He hung up then and Karma closed her eyes as tightly as she could and tried to stop her crying long enough to get things taken care of. She got out of bed and packed without notice and waited for Dave to get back to her with flight arrangements. Finally the phone rang again.

“Hello.”

“You’re flight leaves out of L.A.X. in 45 minutes. You’ll be landing in Dallas at about 8 a.m.” He said. “Someone will be waiting for you there to get you to the hospital where Tyler is. Be careful Karma.”

“Thank you Dave.” She sniffed and hung up. She hurried out the door then and into the Taxi she had called just before he called her. She was too afraid to try and drive herself with so much panic spreading in her body. The baby was feeling the stress and had started to kick rapidly and often, which only worried Karma more.

In the airport she rushed through check in and security, and despite warnings about her pregnancy she argued it was an emergency and she couldn’t stay behind until they allowed her to board the plane. The four hour flight was too long and slow and it made her uncomfortable. She couldn’t relax even for a moment; she couldn’t let herself stop thinking any second could be the last breath he took.

She sobbed through the entire flight, gaining sympathy and concern from other passengers. Many of them wondered how she’s gotten on a plane so heavily pregnant, but they could see she was having some sort of crisis based on the constant tears. When the plane finally landed no one stood in her way and she hurried off and into the airport.

A crew member of the band was there waiting for her, and she didn’t waste time talking with him. They hurried to the car and once they were on the way to the hospital Tyler was being treated in, Karma’s hysteria started to build up again.

“Don’t worry yet Karma; he’s made it this long. There is a chance he will live a long healthy life.”

“A low one.” She said and ended the conversation. Once at the hospital he led her to where everyone was waiting in the waiting room area. She ran to Dave and Dean and hugged them one at a time and wiped her eyes. “Is anything new?”

“They really don’t know what’s going on. It’s just really crucial right now, he’s holding on best he can, but his heart is in bad condition.” Dave explained.

“So it’s not looking good?”

“I’m sorry Karma…” He said. She nodded and sniffed.

“Can I see him?”

“You’ll have to ask a nurse.” He said and she again nodded gently before finding a nurse to ask for help. After some hesitation the nurse agreed to allow Karma into the room Tyler was being monitored in. While the doctors led her to him she asked what the chances were.

“We’ve managed to retrieve the bullet, and if he’s lucky he won’t go into cardiac arrest. I can’t give you anything, I can’t say if he’s going to make it or not. Right now he can’t breathe on his own, and his heart rate is still very erratic.”

“Give me anything doctor, please.” She begged.

“All I can say is his chances are not high at this point, but we’ve had people come in here after being shot multiple times and live for fifty years.” The doctor said gently and stopped at a door. “I have to warn you, he’s hooked up to a ventilator and several other machines. He is not conscious.”

“Okay.” Karma said and took a deep breath to prepare herself and the doctor opened the door and she walked in to see him lying unconscious in a hospital bed. The sudden pain in her chest was almost enough to send her to her knees. She walked to him and took his hand in hers and looked down at him. “Hi baby.” She whispered and tried with all her strength to suppress the tears. She was tired of crying. “It looks like I came out after all…it just isn’t under the best of circumstances.” She sniffed.

She looked at the machines and watched them function to keep him alive. She wasn’t sure she was going to be able to deal with it for long, but she had to try. He was fighting for her she had to fight for him. She lifted his hand and kissed it gently. “You can’t give up baby, I know it’s hard but you can’t leave me now.” She cried and the tears filled her eyes again. “I can’t lose you now.” She looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath as if to calm herself before hysteria took over again. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I love you so much Tyler. I need you, and everything is going to be okay. You’ll get better, and we’ll get married, and have our baby. I already bought my dress…and Papa said he’d give me away. It will be so perfect baby, we’ll be so happy. We’ll grow old together, and everything will be fine…I know it will.” She said and started to sob again. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore; inside of herself she knew he wouldn’t make it through the day. She couldn’t convince herself that he would live. “Just please…please Tyler don’t let go…I need you too much.” She cried.

The door opened and a nurse walking in with a chair for Karma to sit in. “Ma’am, I notice you were pregnant, and I thought you’d like to be more comfortable. I’m really sorry about everything.” The nurse said gently and set the chair down behind Karma.

“Thank you.” Karma sniffed and took a seat, still holding tightly onto her fiancé’s hand.

“Is there anything else I can get you? Maybe something to eat?”

“I’m far from hungry.” Karma said gently, “but thank you.”

“If you need anything, let me know.” The nurse said and left the room. Karma sighed and looked down at her engagement ring.

“I remember when you gave me this.” She sighed. “On the beach that day. It had been such a disaster…” She said and she could feel the sobs building up again. She didn’t want to remember anymore, she just wanted him to be okay, but she couldn’t help it. “It was so windy, and the birds were flying around like crazy. I remember how much sand ended up in the food…and how upset you got that the big romantic proposal had been ruined. I won’t ever forget that day…it was so perfect.” She put her head down on the side of the bed next to him and took a deep breath, she was tired. She had only slept for two hours before Dave had called her and hadn’t been able to relax enough to sleep since then. Now she was with him and she was forcing herself to believe that everything would be okay. She closed her eyes. “I just need a few minutes to rest, please stay with me while I sleep. If your just here while I rest, I will be okay. But don’t give up until I can at least say goodbye.” She said gently and fell asleep.

Chelsea was sitting in an interrogation room where she had been sitting for hours. The police had tried to talk with her and no matter how many times they asked her why she wouldn’t even open her mouth. She was always thinking about what had happened. How she hadn’t gotten out of the room in time. How she wouldn’t ever get away with it now. But mostly she thought about how much it had hurt her to shoot him. He was everything to her and she had shot him. She didn’t even know how he was doing, and she had wanted to see him now and tell him how sorry she was for hurting him but she was tired of his cheating and lying.

A police officer came into the room and sat across the table from her. “Ms. Jacobs.” She started.

“I told you, Connolly.” Chelsea corrected.

“There is no record of any marriage Ms. Jacobs. Can you please tell us why you shot him?”

“It doesn’t matter, I admitted it was me.” Chelsea sighed and wiped her nose.

“What was the motive Ms. Jacobs?”

“Connolly.” Chelsea corrected again.

“Ms. Jacobs, Mr. Connolly was never married.”

“What is it with you people!? Even he tried to deny me! I am his fucking wife! I just wanted to see him; I just wanted to be with him! I love him! But no, he had to deny me, act like he’d never met me. Then one day, he just dumped me, he didn’t even call! It was just a song on the radio; he left me like that the coward! I was only trying to make things better by going out to see him. But he denied me in front of the world. I was so hurt, so humiliated.”

“So that is why you shot him in the chest?”

“No.” Chelsea snapped. “I said that wasn’t important.”

“It is important Ms. Jacobs.”

“How many motherfucking times am I going to have to tell you?! It’s Connolly!” Chelsea screamed. The police officer cringed a little bit and then composed herself.

“That is not what I was asking you!” She said back with anger. “Why did you shoot him in the chest?!”

“Because I was sick of him being with her.” Chelsea said through her teeth. “Because he fucked that bitch and got her pregnant and asked her to marry him and never even bothered to fucking call me! His fucking wife!” She yelled. The officer nodded and left the room quickly.

“This girl is out of her mind.” She said.

“Well Terry, what can we do?” asked a fellow officer.

“Who knows, who even knows what she’s charged with yet?”

“So, what are we going to do with her?”

“Get her into a prison for the mean time, and have her evaluated, you know all the normal stuff. I don’t think she will ever be kept in a prison, she’s screwed up in the head.” Terry sighed and walked away.

Karma woke up not long after falling asleep. Her dreams were keeping her awake. She sat up straight and looked at him. He hadn’t seemed to have changed much, but she could feel him loosing the fight. She took a deep breath and kissed his hand again. “Come on baby, don’t give up.” She whispered. “You can’t give up. Can you hear me Tyler? You cannot give up, don’t you dare leave me.”

She stood up to kiss his head and pushed her tears down again. “Please, Tyler, let me know you’re here with me baby.” She pleaded but he didn’t respond to her in any way. She was wondering how long it would be before it was okay. Or how much longer he would suffer. “I love you Tyler, I love you…” She promised again. She needed him to know that. She took a deep breath and ran her hand over his cheek. “You have to know that, take that with you. Don’t ever forget it baby, keep it with you always.” She cried, and now her tears were falling again. “If you just can’t hold on anymore baby, promise me you won’t ever leave me. That you’ll be here when I need you, always. Wait for me.” She cried and sniffed before letting out a sob. The heart monitor started beeping rapidly and Karma looked up with panic as its beeping suddenly stopped and a flat line went across the screen. Nurses and doctors burst into the room and moved her out of the way gently but quickly and she was soon escorted out of the room.

“Ma’am you need to leave the room.” One nurse said gently and tried to pull Karma out of the room.

“No! What’s going on, you can’t make me leave him! I won’t!” She screamed as they pulled her out of the room. “No! Please no! Please.” She cried with hysteria. “Please don’t take me away from him…please. I need to be here with him…I have to say goodbye.” She cried. She fought the nurse pulling her away from him as best she could, ignoring the fact that her tears were blurring her vision. “I have to be here with him…”

“Please ma’am you have to cooperate.” The nurse said and finally got Karma out of the room. Karma stood outside the room all the doctors and nurses had gathered in with tears streaming down her face and neck. She wanted to know what was going to happen, and she watched them shock him with the defibrillator twice and the flat line on the screen never changed. She could feel her heart tearing apart in her chest and she closed her eyes and prayed that god wouldn’t take him from her now. She couldn’t be without him so close to having their daughter and so close to the wedding. A nurse tried with all her strength to pull Karma away and take her to the wait area, but Karma refused to leave. After what seemed like hours but was only about 20 minutes, a doctor came out of the room and looked at her with sympathy. She could feel her eyes start to burn with tears and hysteria started to run up her chest.

“Please tell me you were able to get it going again…doctor please.” She begged and looked into the man’s eyes, searching for any sign that everything would be alright.

“Miss Charleston, I’m so sorry.” He said gently and Karma looked at him with blurred vision. She couldn’t speak or make a sound at all for a long moment and then the screams from when she’d first heard he’d been shot filled her lungs again.

“No…NO! God please!” She screamed and her knees buckled slightly under her. The doctor caught her before she ended up on the ground. “How can he be gone like that? I just talked to him yesterday; everything was supposed to be okay.” She cried. “How could he leave me like this?”

“I’m so very sorry…I know what you must be going through.”

“You haven’t any Idea!” She screamed. She took a breath and tried to calm down. “Can I see him? Please, just to say goodbye to him. I need to.” She begged. The doctor hesitated briefly and nodded once. Karma walked past him into the room she had been in just minutes before and looked down at her fiancé’s body and she tried to remain calm. The nurses had removed the ventilators and monitors and now he was lying there peacefully. She felt her lips start to quiver together as the next fit of sobbing readied itself to overwhelm her. She put her hand on his cheek and ran her thumb across the cheek bone. “How could you leave me like that, Tyler? When I needed you so much, you gave up and left me! I have a wedding all planned out, and a baby that will be here any time now and you are gone! Dammit how could you leave me to do this alone!?” She screamed. “How could you just give up like that…?” She cried and sobbed. “I love you so much…I just don’t know if I can make it without you…with a baby…alone.” She cried. She bent as much as her body would allow and rested her torso on his and wished with all her power that he would wake up and put his arms around her the way he had before he left for the tour. “Please come back to me….please Tyler, I need you…please.” She whispered. The doctor that had let her in walked into the room and rested his hand gently on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry to have to ask you to leave now.” He said gently. She ignored him and he sighed harshly. “Please ma’am.”

“NO!” She screamed. “Don’t make me leave him yet…please, I can’t. I’m not ready.”

“I’m sorry, but you cannot stay in here any longer.”

“Just let me be with him, this is the last time I’ll ever have with him.” She cried with a shaky voice. When the doctor tried to take hold of her she screamed and fought him away. “Don’t you understand?”

“I know this is very hard for you, but I cannot let you stay in here any longer. Please ma’am, you need to cooperate.” He warned and she cried. She looked down at Tyler again and leaned over him to kiss him one last time.

“Goodbye baby…wait for me okay…” She cried and then let the doctor lead her out of the room. At the door way she fell onto the ground and hysteria washed over her so much that she had to be sedated.