Butterflies and Dragonflies

I just betrayed Alex. I made him a promise and I broke it.

But...this is what I wanted, right?

As much as I didn't want to, I pulled away. Drew's eyes fluttered opened and he stared at me, biting his lip. Sighing, I got off of the bed and took a few steps back. I looked down at Drew, his ocean blues stared up at me. They were wide and scared. Scared of what though? Rejection? I shook my head and looked down to the floor. The fluorescent lights were shining off it. Now what? Do I hurt Drew and walk away? He already knows how I feel about him, but I have Alex. But...do I want Alex? Of course I do! What am I thinking? But, Alex isn't Drew. I love Drew, but Alex...

I let out a sigh and slowly my head raised and my eyes met Drew's. He was obviously anticipating my reaction. I took a deep breath before starting. "I-I can't-" I stopped and took another breath. "I don't love you anymore Drew, " I said softly. Cue sad and hurt looking Drew. My heart broke at the sight so I looked away as I continued to speak.

"I've loved you for a long time, Drew. You've always gave something more than butterflies, you gave me dragonflies in the pit of my stomach, but I'm with Alex, and I -I love him. I've been hurting too long and he helped me get over the fact that I couldn't have you. And you know, I think Amy wanted me to move on just so that you could see that you had feelings for me, maybe she wanted you to open your eyes or something, but it didn't work.

"I fell in love with Alex. And when Amy tried to push me towards you, making me feel bad about myself for hurting you, well it hurt. It hurt because you were hurting me for the longest time, and one of the reasons I-I hit you was because...Amy seemed to be spending more time with you and she's my little sister, you know. Also, you and I haven't spent time together really. I was jealous. Not to mention I lo-loved you and the fact that you were with Amy...well I thought you were, and well, I was just upset.

But, what really pissed me off was that Amy was blaming this all on me, and she was the one who told me to tell you how I felt, she was the one who told me to move on, she told me Alex had a crush on me. And I listened. I know she means well, but I ruined our friendship, because I told you, because I loved you more than a friend.

Drew, I can't do this to Alex though. I love him and I promised him that I wouldn't do this to him. I'm just- I'm sorry Drew, but I can't do this," I explained through the tears.

Drew had a stream of tears rolling down his face. I wanted so badly to walk over and wipe them away, but I didn't. I turned and walked away. I faintly heard Drew say,"And you promised we'd always be friends," before I exited the hospital room.

I walked away from my best friend, my love, my world. And the worst part, besides leaving him drowning in his tears and mine with my heart in his hands, is that I lied. I still love him, I always will, and he still cause those stupid dragonflies to flutter in the pit of my stomach.