Sequel: Bleeding Wrath and Perfect Serenity ›
Dead at 15
February (the Stubborn One)
“Yes Mom, I know. I’m not about to burn myself!” I yelled, rolling my eyes. It was a nasty little habit of mine.
“I know. Just checking,” Mom said, and sighed. She sighed a lot.
“For the fiftieth time, I can get a cake out of the oven without hurting myself, okay?” I said, shoving on a pair of oven mitts and bringing out my masterpiece. I quickly removed the cake from the baking tin and placed it on the cooling rack, shooting a triumphant look at my mother. “See?”
“No cheek from you Missy, even if you are fifteen tomorrow!” I turned the temperature down on the oven and went back to spooning the cupcake batter into the tray.
“It’s gonna be so weird without January,” I then said, absentmindedly. The emptiness consumed me again and I resisted the urge to cry. Crying was stupid. Mom looked at me with a hollow expression and I let out a small smile that didn't reach my eyes. I always tried to put on a brave face for her. Mom had been so cut up when Jan died. It was almost as heartbreaking to watch her come to grips with the news as it was to deal with it myself. At least once a day, you could see Mom just space out and you’d know her thoughts were with her deceased firstborn. I never wanted to go through that, having your child die before yourself, it sounded absolutely tormenting.
***
“Twenty-six, twenty-seven, oh hey Feb! Twenty-eight,” April said as she walked into the room. I smiled at her.
“Again April?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, I like counting lights. I know Stephanie,” her psychotherapist, “says I’m not supposed to, but it’s fun. Numbers are fascinating aren't they? They never end! I love the word infinity. It’s so pretty. Am I pretty Feb? Why don’t you have a boyfriend? You’re nice and pretty, guys must like you.” She took a deep breath and then continued. “I mean January went out with Timothy for four months, twenty-seven days, twenty hours and roughly nineteen minutes and thirty-six seconds. But everyone likes you! You’re so outgoing, but then again you can be a bit of a bitch sometimes. You always roll your eyes, but still people like you! Jan was kinda shy and then there’s March who mopes all the time with her camera and-”
I placed my hand over April’s mouth. She talked way too much. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and hyperactivity could be an unbelievably annoying combination, well for us anyway. She was rather brilliant with numbers too, so she at least had something going for her. How April knew how long January and Timothy dated for though, was intriguing. She didn't screw up calculations but she would've had to have gotten some information in order to get a specific answer.
“April, how do you know how long they went out for?” I asked.
“Oh, I phoned Tim. It was really annoying me! He said it was definitely eight twenty-one when she left so I got him to relay their conversation so I could work it out. He said he’d never forget that day and-” That was satisfactory enough for my curiosity so I shoved a hand over her mouth, yet again.
“That’s enough squirt, now go finish with the lights.”
“What number was I at?”
“Uh…”
“Twenty-eight! See, I know these things. I was testing you.” She said with a smile and tapped her head.
“Off you go then,” I commanded before going back to check the cupcakes, hoping like hell that they hadn't burnt.
***
“Still up love?” Dad asked as I opened a tub of frosting.
“Yeah! Of course! It’s only nine. I’ve got to get this all done for tomorrow.”
“Can’t it wait? Only a few extra people are coming over…” Yeah, for like the first time ever. I had to admit it though, I was a little obsessive when it came to cooking. I couldn't exactly explain it either, so I could often empathize with April.
“Absolutely not! I’ll have no time tomorrow Dad! I’ve got school and presents and yeah. It has to be done tonight.”
Dad shrugged and grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge, pouring himself a glass. Mm…orange juice.
“Okay love, just one more hour though and it’s bed.”
“Oh shit!” Dad flinched. “Sorry Dad.” The rents hated swearing. “I totally forgot about my history essay! Oh God! I’m not sure if I can do that and cook at the same time.” I crossed my fingers behind my back. Out of homework, out of homework, c’mon Dad…
“Why don’t you get March or April to help with the cooking? It’ll get done faster,” he suggested.
“No! It has to be perfect. March is too depressing. Food needs…a good environment to cook in – not to mention the right amount of attention! April would be far too busy checking the damn food every nine seconds or whatever it is!” I half-shouted.
“Calm down Feb. I’ll write you a note for tomorrow if this is really that important to you.”
“Oh thank you Dad!” I hugged him and he patted my head. Mission accomplished.
***
“Mm, what smells so good Feb?” July asked, rubbing her eyes as she entered the kitchen. I bit down on an apple.
“The evening’s labor,” I announced with a mouth full of food. I never claimed to be lady-like.
“You mean…food.”
“Yes, food.”
“Can I have some?”
“No!”
“But I’m hungry,” she whined.
“Go back to bed or I’ll tell Mom!” I snapped. July gave me a hurt look. “Sorry, I’m just really tired July.”
“It’s okay. I understand. Just go to sleep soon!” She reached up to kiss my cheek and I waved her off. It was eleven-thirty. Not bad. Just another batch of cookies and muffins. Oh and the crepes! I spent the next few hours cooking, and it was two-thirty when I finally passed out on my bed.
***
Mm…orange juice would be so good right now…I looked across at the alarm clock. Four thirty was it? It wasn't uncommon for me to get thirsty during the night and walk around half-asleep. I crawled off my bed and wandered out into the hall, downstairs and into the kitchen. A light was on, and I heard a voice…or two…or none? What’s that music? Ugh I don’t feel so good. I’m so tired but I really need that orange juice.
“Orange…” I mumbled and fell onto the floor. “Orange…juice…Feb…want…” I held my hands out and suddenly a bottle or carton of some kind was placed in my right hand. Oh wait, there were two! Another carton/bottle was in my left hand. I considered the two blurred objects in my hands. Orange…and yellow…orange juice is in the yellow thing right? Which one? Yellow for sure. I twisted the cap and emptied the contents. I had my drink, now it was time for rest…
Yeah, eternal rest.
February Samantha Lambert
02/08/84-02/08/99
“I know. Just checking,” Mom said, and sighed. She sighed a lot.
“For the fiftieth time, I can get a cake out of the oven without hurting myself, okay?” I said, shoving on a pair of oven mitts and bringing out my masterpiece. I quickly removed the cake from the baking tin and placed it on the cooling rack, shooting a triumphant look at my mother. “See?”
“No cheek from you Missy, even if you are fifteen tomorrow!” I turned the temperature down on the oven and went back to spooning the cupcake batter into the tray.
“It’s gonna be so weird without January,” I then said, absentmindedly. The emptiness consumed me again and I resisted the urge to cry. Crying was stupid. Mom looked at me with a hollow expression and I let out a small smile that didn't reach my eyes. I always tried to put on a brave face for her. Mom had been so cut up when Jan died. It was almost as heartbreaking to watch her come to grips with the news as it was to deal with it myself. At least once a day, you could see Mom just space out and you’d know her thoughts were with her deceased firstborn. I never wanted to go through that, having your child die before yourself, it sounded absolutely tormenting.
***
“Twenty-six, twenty-seven, oh hey Feb! Twenty-eight,” April said as she walked into the room. I smiled at her.
“Again April?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, I like counting lights. I know Stephanie,” her psychotherapist, “says I’m not supposed to, but it’s fun. Numbers are fascinating aren't they? They never end! I love the word infinity. It’s so pretty. Am I pretty Feb? Why don’t you have a boyfriend? You’re nice and pretty, guys must like you.” She took a deep breath and then continued. “I mean January went out with Timothy for four months, twenty-seven days, twenty hours and roughly nineteen minutes and thirty-six seconds. But everyone likes you! You’re so outgoing, but then again you can be a bit of a bitch sometimes. You always roll your eyes, but still people like you! Jan was kinda shy and then there’s March who mopes all the time with her camera and-”
I placed my hand over April’s mouth. She talked way too much. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and hyperactivity could be an unbelievably annoying combination, well for us anyway. She was rather brilliant with numbers too, so she at least had something going for her. How April knew how long January and Timothy dated for though, was intriguing. She didn't screw up calculations but she would've had to have gotten some information in order to get a specific answer.
“April, how do you know how long they went out for?” I asked.
“Oh, I phoned Tim. It was really annoying me! He said it was definitely eight twenty-one when she left so I got him to relay their conversation so I could work it out. He said he’d never forget that day and-” That was satisfactory enough for my curiosity so I shoved a hand over her mouth, yet again.
“That’s enough squirt, now go finish with the lights.”
“What number was I at?”
“Uh…”
“Twenty-eight! See, I know these things. I was testing you.” She said with a smile and tapped her head.
“Off you go then,” I commanded before going back to check the cupcakes, hoping like hell that they hadn't burnt.
***
“Still up love?” Dad asked as I opened a tub of frosting.
“Yeah! Of course! It’s only nine. I’ve got to get this all done for tomorrow.”
“Can’t it wait? Only a few extra people are coming over…” Yeah, for like the first time ever. I had to admit it though, I was a little obsessive when it came to cooking. I couldn't exactly explain it either, so I could often empathize with April.
“Absolutely not! I’ll have no time tomorrow Dad! I’ve got school and presents and yeah. It has to be done tonight.”
Dad shrugged and grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge, pouring himself a glass. Mm…orange juice.
“Okay love, just one more hour though and it’s bed.”
“Oh shit!” Dad flinched. “Sorry Dad.” The rents hated swearing. “I totally forgot about my history essay! Oh God! I’m not sure if I can do that and cook at the same time.” I crossed my fingers behind my back. Out of homework, out of homework, c’mon Dad…
“Why don’t you get March or April to help with the cooking? It’ll get done faster,” he suggested.
“No! It has to be perfect. March is too depressing. Food needs…a good environment to cook in – not to mention the right amount of attention! April would be far too busy checking the damn food every nine seconds or whatever it is!” I half-shouted.
“Calm down Feb. I’ll write you a note for tomorrow if this is really that important to you.”
“Oh thank you Dad!” I hugged him and he patted my head. Mission accomplished.
***
“Mm, what smells so good Feb?” July asked, rubbing her eyes as she entered the kitchen. I bit down on an apple.
“The evening’s labor,” I announced with a mouth full of food. I never claimed to be lady-like.
“You mean…food.”
“Yes, food.”
“Can I have some?”
“No!”
“But I’m hungry,” she whined.
“Go back to bed or I’ll tell Mom!” I snapped. July gave me a hurt look. “Sorry, I’m just really tired July.”
“It’s okay. I understand. Just go to sleep soon!” She reached up to kiss my cheek and I waved her off. It was eleven-thirty. Not bad. Just another batch of cookies and muffins. Oh and the crepes! I spent the next few hours cooking, and it was two-thirty when I finally passed out on my bed.
***
Mm…orange juice would be so good right now…I looked across at the alarm clock. Four thirty was it? It wasn't uncommon for me to get thirsty during the night and walk around half-asleep. I crawled off my bed and wandered out into the hall, downstairs and into the kitchen. A light was on, and I heard a voice…or two…or none? What’s that music? Ugh I don’t feel so good. I’m so tired but I really need that orange juice.
“Orange…” I mumbled and fell onto the floor. “Orange…juice…Feb…want…” I held my hands out and suddenly a bottle or carton of some kind was placed in my right hand. Oh wait, there were two! Another carton/bottle was in my left hand. I considered the two blurred objects in my hands. Orange…and yellow…orange juice is in the yellow thing right? Which one? Yellow for sure. I twisted the cap and emptied the contents. I had my drink, now it was time for rest…
Yeah, eternal rest.
February Samantha Lambert
02/08/84-02/08/99
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Second official chapter, should have at least one more out today. Again, this chapter was a little innocent but the next one, not as much, so look out for it.