Why Do I Put Myself in These Situations?

I woke up sandwiched between Jack and my wall with a little drool escaping my lips. I moved my head from Jack’s shoulder and sat up wiping my mouth before Jack got the chance to wake up and see it. The house was quiet and it was just turning light outside. I stared at the alarm clock and saw the time, 5am. With a loud yawn I crawled out of the bed and left my bedroom, I was in desperate need of some water. Pouring water into a glass and returning the water jugs into the fridge I sang to myself quietly. As I sipped the water my eyes caught sight of a picture taped onto the front of the fridge of my mom a few months ago, she had all her hair and was laughing as Alex did the air guitar at her feet. Suddenly the realisation hit me and just couldn’t stop myself getting hysterical.

My mom was dying. Once she was gone I’d no reason to stay in Baltimore at all. Jack and Alex had All Time Low to worry about, and I had no-one else in my life. My family lived in other states, my dad left when I was three, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me now. So when we graduated and Jack, Alex Rian and Zack would start touring and I guess I’d try get myself into college or something.

Suddenly I felt very alone, like I had no-one, because well, everyone I ever loved has just tossed me away like a piece of trash, or they had to leave me, no-one ever seemed to stay in my life. I thought I must have been crying too loudly when I heard someone walk into the room, it can’t have been the nurse, she was only there 7am till 9pm, and mom was really tired lately so…Jack.

I felt his arms wrap around my skinny body and pull me close, I dropped my head onto his shoulder so my lips were almost pressed onto his cold neck.
“What’s wrong Burnsie?” he whispered as his right hand stroked my hair.
“She’s leaving me…everyone is” I cried.
Jack’s grip round my waist tightened “I won’t leave you again.”
I pulled myself away from him completely and slid onto the ground hugging my knees to my chest, more tears finding their way down my cheeks.

“But your lying…we graduate in a week, and then All Time Low are touring…im going to be alone. All I have is you, Alex and mom and your all leaving me.”
Jack sat down next to me with a small sigh “W…when you’ve looked after your mom…”
I interrupted him “you mean when she’s dead…”
He nodded slowly biting his lip “…you can tour with us after…and we can be best mates forever”
I rested my head on his shoulder again “Can we go watch TV…?”

He nodded and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet he kissed my cheek, then he died my eyes softly. We wondered into the living room and I turned on the TV, it was already on cartoons so I sat down and leaned on Jack. I pulled out my phone and went on twitter web.

“Jack always makes me feel just that little bit better…I missed him”

I got a reply almost right away from Alex.

“Dude is that where Jack went? We thought we lost him. Glad my two best friends don’t hate anymore!”

I woke up curled up on the sofa with cartoons still on the TV. Sitting up I wiped my eyes and shuffled into the kitchen where I could smell something nice cooking.
“Hey Kylie, Alexis came over to help me not food poison you.”
I smiled over at Alex who was happily setting shit out on plates.
“hey Lex..”

He grinned and hugged me “Hello Bursieeee!”
I sat down at the kitchen table and wiped my eyes again trying to think what to say next “Mom’s been asking for you” my smiled faded and I sighed softly.
Alex nodded sadly, the room suddenly got pretty awkward and quiet as Alex went back to dishing out food from a pan. Jack interrupted the silence.
“Kyle go get dressed, Alexander your burning his eggs.”
Alex swore and moved away from the pan to the oven to take the eggs off. I smiled softly and left the room to get dressed.

***

I emerged out my room dressed in an over sized, over the head red hoodie, black skinny jeans, a purple beanie hat and old muddy converse. My first thought was to go see my mom so I crossed the hallway and slowly entered her room. The nurse was tidying up.
“Hey momma” I said forcing a smile and took a hold of her fragile hand.
“Hello Sweetie” she croaked.

“Jacks still here, he got Alex to come share his amazing British cooking powers.”
Mom smiled warmly, I knew she had missed Jack being around.
“So are Alex and Jack…”
I interrupted “oh god no, Alex has Lisa.”
Mom smiled “Good, I want you to ask Jack out. You’ve liked him since you met him…remember you cried when he was holding Tiffany Guiser’s hand”

I blushed, the nurse was still there “I was seven…”
“ok what about the time Jack fell over and you kissed his knee, or when he got his first girlfriend and you cried for hours, then grinned and ran away to his house to comfort him when she left town.”
I bit my lip and stared at the ground mumbling about how we were just kids.
“Ok, when you were 16 and he confessed he was gay, you couldn’t have been more happy.”

I stood up and kissed her head again telling her I was gonna go downstairs.

***

Alex and jack were already eating when I got down. I gave them the same fake smile I had given my mother and tucked into the plate of fried food.
“Full English breakfast” Alex grinned.