Why Do I Put Myself in These Situations?

I lay back on the blanket and stared up at the stars. They were so beautiful. I shut my eyes and thought for a moment, life was fucking amazing right now, but graduation was in a few days and then Alex, Jack, Zack and Rian would be off doing tours. All I would be able to do would be sitting at home trying to get a job and hanging around with Lisa. I love Lisa but I really can’t lose Jack again. What if he found someone better on tour? I mean I’m not exactly a great catch, Lisa was lucky she didn’t have to worry about this stuff, she was so fucking gorgeous Alex would never cheat on her.

I sighed and sat up again.
“Jack will you be faithful…when you’re on tour?” I asked in a small voice, I felt bad just for asking him.
“Course I will Kyle, don’t you worry” he smiled kissing my forehead.
I blushed and cuddled into him. I know we’d only just started dating but I’ve loved him for so long that what I said next just felt so natural.
“My mom’s a heavy sleeper and her nurse will have left by now…”

Jack’s face lit up “Really…?”
I nodded and pressed our lips together. He stood up taking my hand and pulling me to my feet before shoving everything into his backpack and putting it on his back. He seemed very enthusiastic about what I wanted to do when we got back to mine.

***

I opened the front door and stepped inside letting Jack lock it behind me. There was movement in the kitchen. I froze. Jack took my hand in his and we walked forward together. We peered inside and saw my mom…baking cake?
“Mom?”
She looked up and smiled at us. Her smile was so warm and relaxing I almost forgot I was mad at her.
“Mom your supposed to be resting!”
“Oh come one Kyle, you can’t expect me to spend the last months of my life locked up in my bedroom? I want to see you more, I want to watch telly again, I want to go outside”
I flinched as she mentioned this. I knew it was unfair to ask her to waste away in her room, but she was so ill.
She smiled warmly “anyway if anything happened it wouldn’t make much difference, I’m dieing anyway.”

I screwed my eyes shut, I hated her talking like that. I felt Jack’s grip on my hand tighten. I knew he felt bad for not being there for us, he and my mom were so close once upon a time.
“Anyway, I’ll shout on you boys when the cakes done. If your going upstairs…use a condom, not that I’m saying you have anything Jack dear.” She smiled.
I turned bright red, could she really read us that well?

I dragged Jack up to my small bedroom and slumped on my bed.
“I’m not sure I can have sex with you knowing she thinks that’s what we’re doing..” I mumbled.
Jack didn’t say anything. I noticed he was sniffling. I looked over to him and my heart broke, tears were cascading down his cheeks.
“Jack, what it is? Please don’t cry!!”

He hugged himself into my chest telling me he didn’t want my mom to die. She was like a second mom to him, he adored her and he felt horrible for not knowing she was dieing until recently. I kissed his forehead softly and told him everything would be okay. Our lips met softly and I took a hold of his hips gently.