The Softer Side of Unbearable

To Matt's utter delight, Bailey had decided that it was time to fix things with Angel and Jeff. She was still upset about the fight that they'd had when they'd spoken last, and she felt that she was finally ready to try to talk to them again. She knew that, of all of the people that she'd been avoiding lately, they were the ones that she needed the most.

Bailey knocked loudly on the door in front of her. She heard a shuffling noise from the other side, followed by a gruff female voice.

"Who is it?"

"Angel? Are you alright? You sound terrible."

The door pulled back from the frame and Angel's face appeared in the opening. Her eyes were red and swollen, but it was impossible to tell whether it was from crying or from an extreme lack of sleep.

"What are you doing here, Bailey?" She demanded.

Bailey stammered slightly. She hadn't expected such a hostile welcome. "I... Well, I came here to apologize. I'm kind of rethinking that now, though. Seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Angel snapped. She closed her eyes for a moment and let her head hang forward. She stared at the ground in front of Bailey's feet. "What could you possibly be apologizing for? I'm the one that said such bitchy things about Spencer, and you don't see me crawling back to you about it."

"I should have consulted you before I turned down that tour. Now that I'm thinking a little more clearly, I see how unfair I was being. I know myself well enough to know that I couldn't possibly have gone though with it, but I still should have told you about it. I'm really sorry, Angel."

Angel scoffed and ran a hand through her black hair. Her fingers got tangled in a particularly nasty knot, and she dropped her hand and abandoned her efforts. "Don't apologize. I know that the whole thing wasn't your fault, and it couldn't have been easy. You're forgiven, Bailey. We can move on now."

The words didn't sound completely heartfelt, but from the looks of Angel, it was probably the best she could manage. Bailey surveyed her bandmate with searching eyes. She could suddenly see why Jeff had been so concerned about Angel. The girl looked even tinier than usual. She was gaunt and exhausted, and she looked to be on the verge of collapse. She was leaning heavily on the door frame, as though she couldn't stand without its support. Bailey suddenly wondered what Jeff had seen while she had been so self-absorbed over the past few months.

"Angel," she started. She tried to sound patient and understanding, but she knew that she probably only sounded worried.

"I'm fine, Bailey," Angel looked up at her abruptly. Her eyes were suddenly alight and defensive.

"I didn't even say anything."

"Jeff sent you, didn't he? Well you can tell him to keep his big nose out of my business, got it? He needs to back the fuck off. I'm fine." She stood up straight and grasped the edge of the door, looking fully prepared to slam it in Bailey's face.

"I haven't talked to Jeff. I was going to go there next. What's up with you? This isn't the Angel that I know."

"People change, Bailey. You should know that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Angel snorted. "You haven't exactly been yourself lately. Maybe I'm going through something too. Did you ever think of that? Everyone always assumes that I've gotten into trouble or done something stupid, just because of the way that I act. It's a double standard. You get to be excused from any and all odd behaviour, but when I do something, everyone swoops in and tries to have some kind of intervention. There's nothing to intervene in here. Go home, Bailey."

Bailey knew that she should have stayed. She knew that Angel was doing something that she shouldn't, and she also knew that she wasn't going to stop unless someone brought their fist down. But she still wasn't completely herself, and she couldn't shake the rejected feeling that Angel's words had brought.

Her eyes fell and she breathed slowly. When she spoke, she was quiet. "Okay. I'll see you later, Angel. Call me sometime."

"Yeah, same to you."

Bailey turned away from the small two-bedroom bungalow that Angel was renting. She drove straight to Jeff's apartment, hoping that he would have some answers. When she knocked on his door a few minutes later, the face that greeted her was much friendlier than Angel's had been. Jeff's expression crumbled as he looked at her.

"You saw Angel, didn't you?"

"How did you know?"

"That's not really her, Bailey. She still cares about you. Whatever she said, she didn't mean it." He stepped back and ushered her inside.

Bailey followed him into the house and fell into a heap on his couch. "What's wrong with her?" She whispered. "I miss being friends with her. I can't even imagine trying to tour with her when she's like this."

Jeff sat on the chair across from her. He twisted his hands together and rested his elbows on his knees. He looked up at her with patient eyes. "What did she say to you?"

"I'm supposed to tell you to stay out of her business. That isn't her precise wording, but whatever. You get the point. And she got pretty pissed off at me when I asked her what was wrong with her. She started ranting about how I get to act weird because I have an excuse, but when she does it everyone freaks out. I stood on her doorstep the entire time. She wouldn't even open the door."

"She's sick, Bailey."

Bailey's head lifted, and she watched him for a long, silent moment. Her mouth had fallen open slightly, and her mind churned as it struggled to understand. "She's sick? What's wrong? Has she seen a doctor?"

Jeff shook his head sadly, and his chestnut hair fell forward. "Not that kind of sick."

"Then what's her problem? Seriously, Jeff, you can tell me. I want to help her."

"She can't be helped. No, that's not true," he murmured to himself. "She won't be helped. She won't let me help her. I can't imagine her letting you do anything, either."

"Why? What the hell is going on?" Bailey sat up on the couch and leaned forward. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. She hated it when people kept secrets.

Jeff chewed his lip thoughtfully, then sighed. "I think she's on drugs."

"Seriously? What kind of drugs?" Bailey had known a lot of people that has smoked weed, and none of them had ever acted the way that Angel did. She was almost scared to hear Jeff's response.

"I'm not entirely sure. But I have my suspicions, and it can't be good."

"What are your suspicions?"

"I can't prove anything. I could be wrong."

"Don't bullshit me, Jeff!" Bailey's voice erupted from her chest. "Tell me what she's high on!"

Jeff faltered, and he appeared thoroughly taken aback. Normally, Bailey only sounded this way when she was breaking up a fight between her bandmates. Now she was yelling directly at him. He blinked wildly for a few seconds, then shivered.

"I think she might be on meth." His voice was barely audible.

Bailey sat in silence, staring blankly at him. She tried to process what he'd said, but she just couldn't figure it out. She raised her eyebrows and let out a heavy breath.

"Meth? Are you sure?"

"No," he admitted. "I already told you that I can't prove anything. And she won't talk to me, so I can't even be positive that she's on anything at all."

"Right. But... meth? Really? I was expecting cocaine or something. That would have been bad enough. You just kind of threw me for a loop there."

"Yeah, you're not the only one in shock. I don't know what I can do for her. I want to help her, but she won't give me the time of day. You were always closer with her; do you think maybe she'll listen to you?"

Bailey scoffed. "She didn't seem like she was eager to get help, Jeff. In fact, she seemed quite content to keep killing herself."

"Don't say that," Jeff suddenly looked like he was in immense pain. "I won't let her die."

Bailey couldn't suppress her surprise. She had never seen Jeff act this way, especially when it came to Angel. She understood then that no matter how much they might have fought on tour, Jeff and Angel were still extremely good friends. It seemed like the two of them were closer than Bailey was with either one of them. Especially since she'd hardly spoken to them lately.

"I promise that I'm going to help us all get through this," Bailey vowed. "But I just can't accomplish anything right now. I'm going to go home and try to figure this out. Maybe I can think of a way to get through to her."

Her heart was heavy as she drove home. Besides Spencer, the thing that Bailey missed most in life was simplicity. Now that she was finally ready to face the world again, she already had a new problem thrust upon her. And another life was hanging in the balance.

When she dropped her keys on the coffee table in her apartment, Matt sat up a little straighter on the couch.

"How did it go? Is everything cool with them again?"

Bailey began to tremble. She sat down next to him and buried her face in her hands. Her voice was muffled when she spoke.

"I can't lose her, too."