The Softer Side of Unbearable

Remember that magazine article I mentioned before? The one that I could quote forwards and backwards? Did you wonder what it said?

I stumbled upon it by accident when I was about six years old. Back then, I was under the impression that my mother was just like anybody else's mom. She stayed home to take care of me. She made my lunch and sent me off to school and helped me with my homework. I now know how wrong I was.

I took the magazine and hid it in my bedroom until I was able to read it through and completely understand it. I was a bright kid, and it didn't take me that long to figure out all the bigger words that I didn't already know. Both of my parents were refined songwriters; it only made sense that words would come easily to me as well.

Antagonist Theory Steals The Spotlight, Announces 'Indefinite Hiatus'

Last night, I was sent to a Billy Talent concert with every intention of writing a review about Ben Kowalewicz and the rest of the headlining band. I was stunned, however, when I was still thinking about the first opener of the evening by the time I left.

Antagonist Theory, a trio hailing from Vancouver, was the first to take the stage and the last to leave everyone's minds. Vocalist and bassist Bailey Monroe captured the ears and hearts of every single person in the audience. The show started off like most would have expected it to; the band came in with a high-energy fan-favourite to get everyone excited. The band took a brief pause to thank Billy Talent for giving them their biggest opportunity to date, and then continued with two more songs. One song was from their most recent album, which dropped last April, and the other was a previously unreleased track. The room was convinced that a new record was already in the works.

Monroe immediately stole the crowd's attention with her stage presence. To any onlooker, it is perfectly clear that the stage is where she belongs.

When the lights dimmed after only three songs, the crowd became confused. All three of them left the stage together quickly, and a long, strained pause followed. The band had yet to play their most well-known song, so everyone was certain they couldn't be done their set so quickly. After some waiting, Monroe took the stage solo. She sat behind a piano and began to give a heartfelt speech to the gathered fans.

"I almost didn't come here tonight. I have to thank a whole bunch of people for pushing me to play another show, but there's one person who needs more thanks than anyone else. You guys will be the first to hear this next song. I just finished it the other day. It's called To My Yesterday, and it goes out to Spencer. I love you, and I miss you more everyday."

She began an interlude on the piano, which lasted a full minute and a half before her haunted voice began to sing. In all honesty, the song gave everyone in the room chills. The moment that the song was over, however, Monroe got too choked up to continue. She gave the crowd a quick apology and disappeared from the stage. The band didn't return.

I was given the opportunity to be backstage with the bands after the show, and though I had every intention of writing this article about Billy Talent, I was drawn once again to Antagonist Theory. The band seemed to have left the building, but then I happened to find Monroe talking hurriedly on her cell phone. She was booking an airplane ticket. Monroe looked thoroughly disappointed and heavy-hearted when I sat down to talk with her.

"I thought I could do it, but I can't. It's way too hard to be out there singing about my best friend when he's not here anymore. Maybe someday, but not right now. Angel and Jeff [the drummer and guitarist of Antagonist Theory, respectively] need a break as badly as I do. As of right now, we're on hiatus."

When asked when they would return to music, she merely shrugged. "Who knows? We'll know when the time is right. Hopefully people will still want to listen when that time comes."

The remainder of the story is unknown, as the other band members were nowhere to be found and Monroe refused to comment on their whereabouts. One thing is clear: the music and stage presence of Antagonist Theory will be sorely missed.

Mom had a tattoo around her wrist that read "My Heart Is With Spencer". After I read the article for the first time, I asked her about it. I wanted to know whether she had meant it to be about me or about her best friend, who she had told me before that I was named after. She had just smiled and kissed me lightly on the forehead.

"I used to think it meant him. But now I understand that he had to die in order for you to be born. And even though there was a time that I thought he was everything I needed, I know that you are so much more to me. But he gave you to me, in an indirect way. If it wasn't for him, your dad and I probably wouldn't have gotten together. So I guess, in the end, it means the both of you."

"How did he get you and Dad together?"

As if my question had been a prompt, Mom pulled me into her lap and gave me a happy grin. "I'm going to tell you a story, Spencer."

God, what a story it was.