Status: Whenever I get the chance
Afterlife
Cloud Nine
I’m not quite in heaven; don’t have my wings. But I know I’m not in hell, there’s no fire, just clouds, clouds, and more clouds. I can see the people down below, and I can visit earth, but I cannot interact with anyone. My friends and family can’t hear me, nobody can hear me. I could scream for hours and not one person would turn their head in my direction. My shadow is missing when the sun comes out, and when it rains the drops that I would once feel splash my body now go straight through me. I will live forever in silence in a world sheltered from a lonely spirit.
Jack's coffee shop is full, like any other day, but it's more of an older people hang out spot where they play cards and chat about their children. I wade by them aimlessly, half hoping that I'll bump into one of them and fall to the floor.
“More coffee, Irene?” asked, Cassie, the waitress.
“Yes dear, that would be lovely.”
I stood there, in bleak silence, waiting for a miracle as I listened to the conversation between Irene and Cassie. I let my mind trail until I caught a glimpse of a shadow in the corner of my eye. Looking in it's direction I saw my mom.
She entered Jack's coffee shop in what looked to be a half slouch, and wore a sad expression on her face. Her hair was a mess and it looked as if she hadn't been taking care of herself. She sat at the bar lazily. Cassie then went up to her, offering her service and pulling her light brown hair into a pony tail.
“The usual?” she asked in a perky voice as she took the worn scratch pad and blue pen from her pocket.
“Yep,” my mom answered without effort. Her voice sounding scratchier then her worst day.
Cassie walked away to get my moms order just as Irene came and sat beside her.
“Kristen I know you are mourning your daughters death, but you have to start taking better care of your health. I see you everyday and I know you are straddling depression, but please, for your sake, go get professional help. ”
Kristen turned her gaze to Irene and her sad face turned into what looked like anger though her voice showed no sign of it, “did I ask you for advice?”
Irene sat back in shock and then lifted herself off the bar stool and clopped away with her wooden cane. I on the other hand, I had made my way over to her side, when my mom spoke, sounding like she knew I was there.
“Addison dear,” she whispered, “oh I should have never let you go out to that dance.”
Cassie had arrived with my mothers breakfast order and asked, “can I get you anything else?”
My mom looked willingly at her and in her eyes there was an unmistakable sadness, and it looked as if she were going to ask, my daughter? But instead she said, “that won't be necessary, can I have a check please?”
And that was the last time I really saw my mom. Well, until the news on every paper was that a woman named Kristen Dawson, had committed suicide. Suicide. It's such a strong word, and even though I was devastated that my mom had taken her own life I was also half hoping that I would run into her spirit, but deep inside I knew I wouldn't. At least not any time soon.
Jack's coffee shop is full, like any other day, but it's more of an older people hang out spot where they play cards and chat about their children. I wade by them aimlessly, half hoping that I'll bump into one of them and fall to the floor.
“More coffee, Irene?” asked, Cassie, the waitress.
“Yes dear, that would be lovely.”
I stood there, in bleak silence, waiting for a miracle as I listened to the conversation between Irene and Cassie. I let my mind trail until I caught a glimpse of a shadow in the corner of my eye. Looking in it's direction I saw my mom.
She entered Jack's coffee shop in what looked to be a half slouch, and wore a sad expression on her face. Her hair was a mess and it looked as if she hadn't been taking care of herself. She sat at the bar lazily. Cassie then went up to her, offering her service and pulling her light brown hair into a pony tail.
“The usual?” she asked in a perky voice as she took the worn scratch pad and blue pen from her pocket.
“Yep,” my mom answered without effort. Her voice sounding scratchier then her worst day.
Cassie walked away to get my moms order just as Irene came and sat beside her.
“Kristen I know you are mourning your daughters death, but you have to start taking better care of your health. I see you everyday and I know you are straddling depression, but please, for your sake, go get professional help. ”
Kristen turned her gaze to Irene and her sad face turned into what looked like anger though her voice showed no sign of it, “did I ask you for advice?”
Irene sat back in shock and then lifted herself off the bar stool and clopped away with her wooden cane. I on the other hand, I had made my way over to her side, when my mom spoke, sounding like she knew I was there.
“Addison dear,” she whispered, “oh I should have never let you go out to that dance.”
Cassie had arrived with my mothers breakfast order and asked, “can I get you anything else?”
My mom looked willingly at her and in her eyes there was an unmistakable sadness, and it looked as if she were going to ask, my daughter? But instead she said, “that won't be necessary, can I have a check please?”
And that was the last time I really saw my mom. Well, until the news on every paper was that a woman named Kristen Dawson, had committed suicide. Suicide. It's such a strong word, and even though I was devastated that my mom had taken her own life I was also half hoping that I would run into her spirit, but deep inside I knew I wouldn't. At least not any time soon.