First Impressions

"You have to get me a present." I tell Trev at lunch. It's Monday, which should mean that I should be sleeping right now, but I have Algebra next so I'll catch up. Trev stares back at me with a sardonic look.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because my birthday is in five days." September seventh to be exact, but I would rather be spending my birthday on a Saturday than the real date it falls on. My father's birthday is the same as mine, and my real birthday is a day that I use for reflection. I would be turning seventeen. I wish I would have been born three months sooner, then I would be older than Brad. Speaking of Brad, I haven't even seen him all day except for when he drove me to school. What's up with that?

"Oh my God! Yay!" Shale squeaks, reaching over Trev to give me a hug. I smile when I watch Trev's face turn red over Shale's shoulder. I guess the fact of her being in his lap made him shy.

"Hey, that's awesome!" Tash exclaims across from me. "I have that day off."

"Sweet!" We bump fists. Lunch goes on normally, everyone talking and joking around. It's the After Lunch that isn't so normal. When the bell rings, everyone starts leaving the cafeteria, then it starts to get really crowded. It was then that my group realized that there is a circle of people.

I decide to play detective and get to the bottom of this situation. I push people out of my way and get into the inner circle where all of the commotion is going on at.

"Hey now, what's with all of this-"

"You're a fucking ass-hole!" Shelby screeches angrily. Her and Brad are standing on opposite sides of the circle, and I just happened to be right in the middle.

"Well you're a goddamn whore!" Brad yells back.

"Yikes." I mutter to myself. "Where are the teachers when you need 'em?"

I take it as my duty to settle the tensional matters between the two opposees.

. . .

I have decided to make peace between the two.

I set out of the ringlet and stand in the middle of the circle with my hands up.

"Can't we just be friends? Come on, let's calm down and settle this in a very discreet, professional mann-"

"I bet I could get any dick that's better than yours!" Shelby screams, completely ignoring me. Brad smirks and what he does next makes me gasp and the entire crowd go: whoot-whoot!

He pulled his pants down.

He revealed thee annihilator.

He exposed Big Me.

Oh. My. God.

"I don't think so." Brad says, still smirking while his pants are still hanging down his thighs. I hear Shelby scream and stomp away, but I don't look.

Uh-oh.

I can't blink.

I can't freaking blink!

I am junior and I have never seen the male anatomy in my entire life, and this is my first time. My virginal eyes are no longer virginal. This is like live porn here. I think it's staring at me.

My trance is immediately broken when Brad pulls his pants back up, zipping them and hooking his belt back together. After everyone else has cleared out of the cafeteria do I realize that my friends and I are the only ones left.

"Dude, I think you just put the whole male population to shame." Trev yelps, clapping Brad on the back.

"Brad, darling. I never knew you like that." Shale says giggly, blushing.

"I feel so uncomfortable." Tash groans. Brad takes all of these compliments smirking. Then everyone turns to me. I am still standing right where I was trying to make peace.

"Autum?" Tash asks. I jump and feel my face flush.

"I-I-I-uuhhh-er-" I stutter out some sort of words. Everyone continues to stare at me. Brad is the only one that is making me unnerved. "Erm-I-uh . . . Chyeah."

"What?" Shale asks, quirking her head to the side.

"Erfagual." I blurt out. Oh God, I'm talking gibberish.

"She says that it's the first time she's ever seen male anatomy and that she's really scared of it." Trev confirms. Everyone turns to stare at him. "What? She's one of my besties; I've got to know what she's saying."

"Ergalu." I mutter, still speaking gibberish. I feel my stomach turn when I see Brad still looking at me. It turns some more. "Erahg."

I bend over and dispose of my lunch, making everyone yell. I cough up some more, making Shale scream 'Gross!' Someone puts their hand on my back while someone else holds my hair back so none of the chunks get in it. The sight of my own puke made me want to vomit again.

"So we all know what Autum's going to do on her honey moon." I hear Trev say from beside me. Then there's a thunk. "Ouch!"

Brad must have punched him or something.

"Autum, are you alright?" I hear Brad ask. I puke one last time before spitting and wiping my mouth. I slowly stand up, not looking at anyone, instead just focusing on the table.

"Autum?" Brad holds me by the shoulders, trying to get me to look at him.

"I think I need some mints." I say, looking at him for a second.

"Here you go." Tash hands me some breath mints and I pop them into my mouth, thanking him. I start walking out of the cafeteria and to my locker, making Brad break his hold on me. Everyone else follows me, but no one talks. Since Tash, Shale, and Trev all have their books with them, they go their separate ways, saying 'Later'.

Then there were two.

I stop at my locker and twirl in the combination, open it and get my books. When I close my locker, Brad is right there facing me.

"So you've never seen a dick before?" He asks curiously. I try to step around him but he continues to block my way. I sigh and look away from him, my face turning red.

"No, I haven't." I mutter. His eyes bore into the side of my head.

"Do you even know how to-"

"Can we please just drop the subject? I'm sorry that I puked at the sight of your-your-your . . . uh, thingy." I plead, stumbling over the last couple of words. I watch him raise an eyebrow.

"No, I like this subject." Brad says, watching my discomfort. I shift my books to my other arm.

"But we're going to be late for class." I reply, trying to get out of the situation. He just rolls his eyes and grabs my hand, dragging me in the opposite direction of our classroom.

"But our class is that way." I say, looking back over my shoulder. He ignores me, instead taking me up a flight of stairs. He doesn't let go of my hand until he opens a door, revealing the outside world. I step out onto the roof while he jams his books between the door and the wall, making sure that we don't get locked out. I walk over to the edge of the building, overlooking the parking lot.

I smirk as a light bulb flashes in my head. I toss my notebook on the ground and hold my Algebra book out over the edge. The drop was three stories down from the top of the school.

"Bye-bye math." I mumble to myself before dropping my book. I lean a little bit more over the edge to watch it tumble before it hits the ground with an echoing thump.

"Back to our beginning subject." Brad says from beside me. Surprised, I jump and whirl around at the same time. That's when I lose my footing. My right foot slides off the edge and I feel myself falling backwards to my doom.

Everything is in slow motion now. I can hear my heart thumping in my ears but my brain just isn't functioning. It isn't saying anything at all. I watch Brad's eyes go slightly wide before his hand reaches out towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him. I feel his other arm wrap around my waist securely, also pulling me towards him.

The only thing I'm thinking throughout this whole process is: This is going to hurt.

Then, just like that, everything goes back to normal speed.

Brad grunts when my body slams right into his, knocking him backwards and making both of us fall to the ground with me on top. I feel my head slam right into his, allowing me to be like a cartoon and see stars.

"Ouch." I hiss, slightly muffled do to the fact that my mouth is right in Brad's shoulder. I slowly sit up on him and rub my forehead tenderly. "Owie, that's gonna leave a mark."

"Thanks." Brad mutters. "Are you going to move or are you just going to straddle me all day, because if you're going to do the second one then-"

"Depends if you'll let me go, smartass." I cut him off, looking down at the arm still hooked around my waist. I look back at him, staring at his expression. I snap my fingers in front of his face, making him blink. "Hello? Don't zone out on me here. We need to talk about how you almost killed me."

"Autum, do you ever just shut up?" Brad asks, propping himself up on his elbows. He has yet to remove his arm from my body, making me still sit on him. I put my hands on my hips, which still doesn't do me any good but it seems like a great idea. Maybe I could try and intimidate him.

"Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question because it sure sounds like i-" I lurched forward by an unknown force and my face comes in contact with Brad's face.

. . .

In other words, we kissed.

Zap.

I think it was planned or something because Brad didn't look as surprised as I did. But then again, he's already had his first girlfriend, his first kiss, his first sex, and I . . . haven't. I mean, I'm five days shy of turning seventeen and I've never had a boyfriend. Not that it's a bad thing because I really like being single, but I've seen most boys as my friends, not like . . . this.

Zap.

I stare open eyed at Brad while he stares back at me with half-lidded eyes. I can feel him trying to work his way around my mouth, but that was probably as stiff as a rock. Once again, I do not know how to kiss. I'm not entirely sure if it's something you have to learn or you just do naturally, but I think I have to learn it.

Zap.

I jump when I feel him nip at my lower lip and feel him smirk against my mouth. I don't know how long we've been attached at the face, but I've still remained frozen. Too many things are going through my head. The fact that this is Brad. The fact that I'm not sure what to do. The fact that this could change everything. Would it be awkward? Oh God, I don't want anything to be awkward, I want things to stay normal!

Brad finally pulls away from me; just enough to where we aren't touching faces any more. I stare at him, still a little shocked, but he just stares back at me like he was pleased. I stumble over my words for a couple of seconds before making a comprehensible sentence.

"W-what was that?" I stutter out, still bug-eyed. He just smirks again at me.

"That was an experiment." He says bluntly. I blink at him, thinking for a moment. An experiment?

"How the hell was that an experiment?!" I explode. "You had me worrying that things would be awkward and you know that I don't like awkwardness! Do you realize what you have done?!"

He just stares at me as I go ranting on about him having all of his firsts and me having none of mine. I implode on him about how he just took my first, first and that he shouldn't have done that. I yell at him because I wasn't ready for any of my firsts, especially sex because I'm too scared that, that one will hurt and I'll cry because it'll hurt so bad. I scream at him because you shouldn't kiss someone unless they are your girlfriend, boyfriend, or lover and I tell him that I am not any of those to anyone.

"What if you like them?" Brad asks me after my venting. He didn't seemed fazed at all by my outburst.

"Brad, it's still not right in my book. You should actually get to know the person." I say, rolling off of him and sitting by his side. I scratch the left side of my nose before pushing my hair back.

"What if you already know them?" Brad inquires again.

"Psh. Would you know every little habit that this person does?" I sneer over in his direction. He just shrugs at me.

"Pretty much."

"And what if she doesn't like you? Hm?" I sit Indian style now. He grins at me.

"I think she'll come around eventually." I wrinkle my eyebrows in confusion before snorting at him with as much dignity as I can have with a snort.

"Poor girl, what will she say when you go experimenting with one of your friends?" I ask before becoming worried. "Oh God, what if she hates me because you experimented with me and then we can't hang out any more and I can't torture you and then I blow up because all the ideas of annoyingness have filled my head?!"

I flop onto my back, exasperated. I hear Brad chuckle.

"Trust me, she won't hate you. I think." I kick him lightly in the leg. Let the silence fall. We lay on the roof quietly for sometime, not really long, but not five or ten minutes short either. Just as I start to fall into a slumber, Brad talks again.

"Why are you afraid to have sex?"

"I already said because it'll hurt. I mean, I've broken my arm before and everything but down there? In the southern region of my body?" I cringe. "I don't think I want to know how that feels. Hell, I can't even put a tampon in."

I hear Brad start coughing and bring my head up to stare at him, laughing silently to myself. A fish out of water is what he looked like. After he's done, he sits up and looks at me.

"That was a little too descriptive."

"That wasn't descriptive, it was blunt." I defend. He just rolls his eyes and then there's silence again.

"Hey, Brad?" He looks over at me. "What was with that whole thing in the cafeteria? Why were you guys fighting?"

"I told you I was breaking up with her." He replies, shrugging. I think back to our accident, not even three days ago, and the conversation we had.

"Right." I think for a minute, trying to choose my words carefully about the situation with him and Shelby. I mean, I don't really like Shelby, but I don't hate her either. It just seemed sort of dramatic for a break-up if you ask me. "Why did she react that way? I mean, how did you do it exactly?"

"Normally." He shrugs. "I just told her that I didn't like her anymore and that she doesn't get along with my friends so it won't work."

"And she just reacted like that for no reason." I conclude skeptically, thinking that something else happened. He glances over at me.

"Drama is food to Shelby. She can't live without it and it basically wouldn't exist without her." Brad states shortly. I suppose it is true, Shelby is quite the drama queen. But I sort of feel bad for her. I once read that girls who have sex early have a low self-esteem because they are very conscious of themselves and they want to know that someone actually appreciates them. Quite sad really.