First Impressions

"So, what are we going to do today?" Trev asks as we all walk out of Brad's house. I adjust the strap of my bag and carry the baby in the cradle with my other hand.

"How did I get stuck doing this?" I ask, turning to Brad. He shrugs.

"I stayed with the baby all last night."

"I did too!" I shout. I open my mouth to yell some more, but there's a honk. I turn my head to see Shale getting out of her car, carrying the diaper bag and a screaming baby. "Oh, she looks mad."

"Trev! What the hell?! I've been waiting at my house for the past four hours!" She screams, getting into Trev's face. I take a good look at her and refrain from laughing. Her hair was sticking up, bags under her eyes, kitty patterned pajamas, and she had some tooth paste on her shirt along with dried drool coming from the corner of her mouth.

"S-sorry, I came over for some pancakes." Trev stutters, scared shitless. I roll my eyes. That's a really good excuse. I step back as Shale starts yelling at Trev, ripping him a new one. I snicker to myself.

"Atleast I have the ability to get rid of the baby by throwing it out the window and into Brad's room." I giggle to myself.

"What?" Brad looks down at me while I look up at him.

"Nothing." I smile innocently. I watch as Shale shoves everything into Trev's arms and walks to her car, slams the door, and drives away. "I think that went well." I say cheerfully. Trev turns to me with a scared look upon his face while I keep smiling at him.

"So, who wants to go to the mall?" Trev asks quietly, looking down the street to make sure Shale doesn't come back. We all shrug and pile into Brad's truck and start the half hour drive to the mall.

I look around me, two babies on both sides and two boys up front. I cover my ears from the screaming noises.

"How did I get tricked into this?!" I yell over the baby screams. Trev turns back to me and looks at my situation.

"You didn't yell shot gun." He says. I scowl.

"Yes I did! You pushed me out of the way!" He just shrugs and turns back around as we pull into the parking lot. I pull my baby out of the left side of the truck as Brad gets out, taking the diaper bag. Trev pulls his out and straps the baby on his back with the baby holder. We start walking to the mall entrance, getting the babies quieted down.

"Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea." I say, looking at all of the people staring and pointing at us. I hear someone say 'Wow, she looks too young.' I see a bunch of girls oogle around Trev, making little noises to the baby. The funny thing is, the babies look so real. I turn to Brad and give him a look. "Why is it that when a guy has a kid, he can get some action; but when a girl gets one, she's a whore?"

"I don't know, I'm not a girl and can barely even understand them right now. If you're a girl and you don't know why, then maybe you don't even understand them." Brad shrugs. I roll my eyes and then smirk as a plan comes to my mind.

"You know what, if they're going to talk, let's make them talk." I say to Brad. He raises an eyebrow, wondering what I'm going to do. I grab his hand and start swinging it as we walk, enjoying all the gossip going around. I hear an 'Oh my God, she is so lucky!' and an 'I want a guy like that!' I turn to Brad and whisper to him. "See? I'm totally making you famous."

He chuckles and grabs on to my hand, letting me do whatever I want. I turn around and wait for Trev, watching him get some girls' phone numbers. I snicker at my next plan. I'm a total genius.

"Trev, I don't think Shale would like it if you go around getting girls' phone numbers! Remember what she did last time?" I shout. Trev glares at me as the phone numbers are yanked out of his hands and the girls leave him. He walks over to me, sulking.

"You're mean." Trev pouts. I giggle and start walking, still holding Brad's hand. Trev looks at us. "What are you guys? A couple now?"

"Only for today." Brad mutters. I giggle and drag them into a store, looking around at clothes. Trev comes up to us with something behind his back.

"Hey, Autum, maybe you should try this on." Trev then pulls out a string bikini with a G-string. I pull a fishnet shirt with pink lace around the neckline off the rack.

"Maybe you should try this on." I say sarcastically while holding it up. Trev drops his hand and goes to put it back up. I drag Brad to the shelves where a lot of different hats were. I laugh and set the baby down in the cradle and pick up a French looking hat, putting it on and doing a pose. Brad just rolls his eyes and shoves his hands in his pockets. I slap him playfully on the chest.

"You're no fun." I pout the French hat still on.

"It's my job." He shrugs. I puff out my lip and grab a pinstriped hat and shove it on his head, giggling as he lifts the bill of it to see. I shrug and turn around, finding a scarves hanging beside the hats. I grab a see-through one and start dancing around, waving it everywhere. Trev comes beside me and starts dancing too, grabbing my hands and spinning me around.

Brad rolls his eyes again, but grabs a white clip-on tie and clips it onto his shirt anyway. I skip over to Brad, hooking arms with Trev, and start spinning around with both of them. A couple of customers and employees give us some weird looks, some even giggling, but that's about it. I laugh and take them off and drag the boys out of that store and head to another one.

"Man, I'm so hungry." Trev says, shoveling food down his throat. I shrug and take a huge bite out of my cheeseburger, then shove some fries in my mouth afterwards. Brad just stares at both of us as we eat. I finish my burger in under exactly thirty seconds and wipe my mouth, then shove my other burger in my mouth.

"You two are going to make me broke." Brad groans while biting on a fry. I shrug as I sip my Pepsi.

"It's your fault for carrying money with you all the time." I say. Trev nods, a fry falling from his mouth.

"It's my fault for having money?" Brad asks, raising an eyebrow. I grab another handful of fries and smash them into my mouth.

"Yes, because if you're broke like me and Trev, you wouldn't have to pay." I say, spraying food everywhere. Brad wipes a piece of fry off of his face and throws it back at me. I jump back and squeal. "Ew!"

"It's your own food and spit, how is that 'ew'?" Brad asks. I flick it off the seat before sitting completely back in it.

"If I fart, does it mean I like my own smell?" I ask, answering his question with another question. Trev starts laughing and something comes out of his nose. "Gross!" I jump back, just in time to have the coke miss me.

"Ah! It burns! It burns!" Trev screams, holding onto his nose. I cackle evilly while Brad snickers to himself. Trev then falls out of his seat, rolling around on the floor. By the time he's done screaming, I'm bent over double; laughing and crying at the same time. The whole food court turns to us to see what all the commotion is about.

"Ah ha! Ah ha!" I try catching my breath, but it comes out in some sort of weird laugh/couch/hiccup, making me sound like a hippo. Brad just stares at both of us like we're idiots and doesn't even laugh. I slap my hand on the table to help me up, since I had fallen out of my chair, and peek over the edge to stare at Brad.

He stares back at me while Trev wipes his nose on his sleeve.

"What?" He asks.

"We need to get you a new personality." I pant, still trying to catch my breath. He rolls his eyes. "What? You need the laughing medicine!" I say, pointing at him. He snorts.

"Whatever." He says in that I-don't-care voice.

"Chyeah, see? That's exactly what I'm talking about, Mr. I-Need-A-Life." I say, flopping back down on the floor for a breather. "I will teach you the Art of Cool-ness."

"More like the Art of Stupid-ness." Brad snorts to himself.

"I heard that!" I yelp, not bothering to look from the ceiling who, by the way, I was having a staring contest with. I hear him scoff.

"Of course you did, you're not even two feet away from me."

"You so need a life." I say before sitting back up and grabbing a fry off the table and throwing it at him.

Brad pulls into his driveway with me and Trev laughing in the backseat, my baby in the front by Brad. He turns around and looks at us.

"Will you two just leave that poor pathetic thing alone? Get the damn diaper off its head." He barks.

"But I don't want to feed it. It makes weird noises." Trev says, grudgedly taking the diaper off and revealing a screaming baby.

"They have cameras in those." Brad says, nodding towards the robotic demon. I stare at him.

"Are you serious?" I blink.

"Yeah, they do that to make sure that you're doing everything right." He says slowly. My eyes shift to the baby in the front seat.

"Oh. My. God." I say before reaching my freaking out mode. I immediately reach for the baby in the front seat. "You have got to help me!"

"Why?" Trev asks, shoving the bottle in his baby's face.

"I have to get that tape out! I have to get that damn forsaken thing out!" I screech.

"What'd you do that's so horrible that you have to get the tape out?" Brad asks, looking over at me with a raised eyebrow. I feel my face turn red.

"You know how I have a modesty issue?"

"Since day one." He rolls his eyes. "Why? Did you dance naked?"

"Erm . . . something like that." I mutter. My face reddens even more when I see Brad's eyes pop open and Trev quits cursing at his kid. ". . . but with scarves."

"Oh my God!" Trev says. I look over at him to see him grinning boyishly.

"Well, there was this really good song on when I got out of the shower and . . . well, yeah." I tell them, looking back at Brad whose eyes were still wide but now his mouth was open.

"We have to get that tape out of there!" He screeches, grabbing the baby and yanking it out of the car seat and shaking it.

"Hell yeah! Free porn!" Trev shouts. Brad glares at him before turning the baby over and looking at its back only to growl in frustration.

"We need a key."

I collapse back into my seat, lifting both of my hands to my face and covering it completely.

"I'm doomed for social anihalation. I'll forever be known as 'The-Girl-Who-Was-Stupid-Enough-To-Dance-Naked-In-Front-Of-A-Baby.'" I groan through my hands.

"No you won't." Trev says, making me peep through my fingers. "That title's too long. It'll be 'The-Girl-Who-Danced-Naked.'"

I groan again and jam my fingers back together, squirming around in my seat.

"Trev, shut up." Brad grits through his teeth. I hear a thud and realize that he threw the baby back into the car seat. Silence fills the air. My brain whirls around, searching for any possible way to get the tape out of that baby. I sit straight up, struck by my geniusness. I grin mischievously at the two boys who were staring at me, a flicker of recklessness in my eyes.

"Here's the plan . . ."