More Than This

La Push was exactly as I remembered it. I had lived here most of my childhood, but when I turned fourteen, we moved. My grandmother was sick, so my parents wanted to spend time with her. However, shortly after my grandma passed, my mom got sick. As a result, we remained in my grandmother’s home.

Our old house was exactly as we left it. The furniture was all still there, now it was just a matter of making this feel like home again. The guest room would be transformed into Giselle’s new “princess” room, completely decked out in light pinks, whites and golds.

*************************************************************************************************************

So, weeks passed and we were starting to get comfortable. Giselle’s room was complete and she spent most of her time there. Dad got a job working from a man named Sam Uley, who just happens to be the alpha of Jake’s pack. My dad also got to spend time with his old friends that he hasn’t talked to in years. Billy, Jake’s dad, is so nice and so is Charlie Swan.

Jake had told me all about his past. During our ride to La Push, he regaled in stories of his unrequited love and what happened when he transformed into a wolf. It was nice to hear about the life he led before I met him and I found that his precedent was just as screwy as mine. I learned of Bella, and couldn’t help but not like her a little bit. I hate judging people before I meet them so, I’m trying to not make any hasty decisions about her.

Anyway, back to Jake. He’d spent almost everyday at my new home with us. Giselle has come to absolutely adore him and often drags him up to her room to play with her dolls. The best part, Jake plays with her and has never once complained.

That’s what was going on today. It was a beautiful summer day, especially for a town in Washington. Giselle had Jake up in her room. As soon as Jake had come over today, Giselle whisked him away, insisting on having a fashion show. Jake happily agreed.

I was sitting in the backyard waiting for them to come out and show me.

“Ah hum,” I heard Jake clear his throat and I took that as my cue to turn around. I immediately broke out in peals of laughter, that couldn’t be controlled.

In front of me stood a brooding 6 foot man clothed in a pink tutu on top of his cutoff jeans with no shirt on. Then his handsome face was decked out in make-up, you know the kind little girls’ have that smell awful.

Jake walked across the lawn and Giselle began her announcer spiel, “Now on the runway is America’s Next Top Model, Jackie! She’s modeling a bright pink tutu and my pretty princess makeup!!”

“Oh my goodness,” I said through my laughter.

“Look it’s not that funny,” Jake said moodily. If the guys saw this he’d never be able to live it down.

“Awe Jackie, what’s wrong? Tutu too tight?” I replied sarcastically through another bout of laughter.

“Mommy, I almost forgot. Hannah Montana is on now!” Giselle than rushed into the house and turned the TV on to her favorite show.

“Okay, Jackie, let’s go get that makeup off your face,” I walked into the house and up the stairs to the bathroom with Jake following behind. He sat on the closed toilet seat while I wet a wash cloth. Slowly, as to not hurt him, I began to scrub the makeup off. “You know, you make a pretty hot super model Jake.”

“Ha-ha, thanks,” he replied sarcastically. “Giselle was really determined to put the makeup on and no matter what I said, she still insisted.”

“That sounds like her. But my question is how did you get that tutu on without it breaking?” I said with a smile on my face.

“Well excuse me, Mr. Fatty over here was able to put it on just fine,” he huffed jokingly.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” I said quietly with the same smile lighting my face.

“Well, that‘s what it sure sounded like. We can’t all be freakishly thin like you,” he teased.

“I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings Jake. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” I questioned sarcastically in a baby voice.

“Well, yeah,” he said seriously. “Rose, you won’t let me touch you at all and this is the closest we’ve been since I’ve first met you. You can make it up to me by telling me what’s up with you.”

“Nothing’s up,” I responded, earning a look from Jake. “I just…I just don’t like being touched okay.”

“Is it because you were raped?” he questioned cautiously.

“No, it’s because I’m some freaky alien that hates human contact,” I sneered cynically. I left the bathroom then and walked down the hall to the laundry room. I threw the wash cloth into the basket and turned around, only to run into a steaming hot body.

“Rose, I’d never hurt you,” Jake said taking my hands in his. I tried to pull away, but was unsuccessful to say the least. “You can trust me and I don’t know how I can make you see that, but I will.”

“Jacob,” his face looked so hopeful. “Please let me go.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” he muttered, dropping my hands and losing his optimistic expression in exchange for a somber one. He quickly masked it though, with an expressionless façade. He turned and began to walk away from me.No one had ever made my heart hurt so much. Not when Noah broke up with me, not when I was raped. Jacob's sadness alone made me feel like I was being swallowed whole by a black void.

“Hey Jake!” I shouted and he turned around to face me, that same hopeful expression, overtaking his handsome face. “If it’s any consolation, you beat Tyra Banks hands down.”

He smiled and gave a small chuckle. But then continued on his way toward the stairs.

My body sunk to the ground and my head rested against the washing machine. I sat and pondered. My mind wondered and slowly my eyes closed. Sleep, after all, is the best way to organize your thoughts.

“Rose, Rose,” Jake’s voice interrupted my reverie. “Hey, you’ve been sitting here for a good twenty minutes and your dad’s home now. Everything okay?”

Instead of answering I lightly place my hand on his cheek and left it there. His much larger and much warmer hand soon covered it. Jake’s eyes drooped slightly as if he was trying to memorize the way my hand against his cheek felt. To me it was amazing.

“Everything’s great Jake.”