Will You Be There for Me?

“What’s up?” I asked casually, rubbing the back of my neck nervously.

“The usual.” He replied bluntly.

We stood there quietly for what seemed like forever in the most awkward silence ever. You could’ve cut the tension in between us with a knife, and it was the most horrible feeling ever.

“Um, do you want to talk?” I asked nervously.

“Sure.” He replied in the same bland tone.

“Ok then, you wanna talk it out in the bus?”

He simply nodded his head and I sighed as I made my way onto the bus, locking the door behind us so no one could disturb us.

I sat on the couch sideways so I could face Shaun instead of the wall, and he sat down in the same way.

“I’m sorry.” I said bluntly.

“Ok.” He simply replied and his simple on word emotionless answers was irritating me.

“Will you fucking talk to me already? God damn it, Shaun! If you want to talk at least reply with more than one fucking word, otherwise we won’t get anywhere.” I said angrily, gritting my teeth as to not shout at him.

“I didn’t do shit, so don’t yell at me!” He shot back angrily.

“I said I was fucking sorry, ok? What more do you want? I told you why, so what more could you possibly need?”

“I want a real answer, not just a ‘because I’m scared’, that’s not a legit answer.”

“But it’s the truth, I can’t face you romantically yet, I just can’t. One day, but not now.” I replied, fiddling with my shoelaces.

“Why not? What are you possibly scared of?”

“I don’t know, I just am. I’ve dated a lot of guys where our relationship was the same as ours and it always ended horribly when we broke up. There was actually another dude in my group of friends. Up until the 9th grade it was Zane, Chris, Jake, Nick, and I. Nick and I had a thing for each other and the guys tried everything to get us together, and we did eventually get together. We stayed together, for like, a year and a halfish I believe, and then things got sour and we broke up and now he absolutely hates me and hasn’t talked to me in years, and I don’t want things to end that way with you.” I replied sincerely.

“What makes him different from me? What made you go out with him without all this drama?” Shaun asked bitterly.

“I don’t know, you’re just… different; in a good way. When I’m around you it’s different than when I’m around anyone else, and I don’t want you out of my life over a stupid break up, it’s not worth it.”

“Then why would you agree to go on a date with me and kiss me?” He snapped.

“Because it felt right! The moment called for it, and during that moment I had never been sure of anything in anything in my life then to kiss you. I had to do it, and I know I told you it wasn’t supposed to happen, but it really was.”

“I’m so confused right now.” Shaun sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“I’m sorry, I really am Shaun. I really do like you, a lot, but I’m just not ready to be with you romantically, not yet. And I know this sounds really corny, but the moment I can listen to my heart when it comes to you, and not my fucking brain, then that’ll be the day we can be together, but it’s not now.” I replied sadly.

Shaun looked up at me and smiled at me slightly, “Alright, I can deal with that.”

I smiled back at him, “You sure you can wait it out long enough?” I asked hesitantly, biting down on my lip.

“For you, yeah. And I promise, if anything happens, I’ll never not talk to you. I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. I’ll always be your best friend, I won’t turn out like that Nick guy.” He smiled and held my hands in his.

“Thanks.” I smiled back at him.

“No problem, but I do have one request, and feel free to say no.” He asked nervously and started to trace circles on the back of my hands with his thumbs.

“What is it Shaun?” I laughed.

“Kiss me one more time, again, you can say no or whatever, but I just want to kiss you one more time before I have to wait God knows how long so it’d be ni-“ I rolled my eyes and crashed my lips against him, cutting him off mid sentence and catching him off guard.

The kiss started off uncomfortably and I tried to pull away before Shaun moaned in discomfort and fixed his lips on mine. Our lips moved in harmony and fit perfectly together and the familiar shock of electricity coursed through my body once again. I tried to pull away but he set his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me back in mumbling a ‘no’ before resting his hands on my hips where my shirt had rode up and my right hand found itself tangled in his hair while my other hand grasped onto his shirt for dear life.

He licked the bottom of my lip asking for entrance causing me to snap back to reality and push him away forcefully.

“Sorry.” He mumbled playing with the back of his hair nervously, as he began to blush.

“It’s alright.” I smiled holding his hand in mine causing him to smile. “So I heard from Mason that you showed up to watch me compete earlier today.” I laughed.

“Ya, I showed up for both of your competitions. You were amazing.”

“Thanks, my vert ramp run was definitely a subconscious dedication to you.” I laughed.

“I kinda figured, seeing you hitting those tricks made me super proud of you.” He laughed.

“Why did you go see me if you were upset with me?”

A short silence filled the bus and Shaun quickly spoke up to keep it from getting awkward, “Because even if I am upset it doesn’t mean I’m not going to support you and be there for you. I saw you at my competitions cheering me on, so the least I could do was show up for yours, y’know?”

I nodded my head in agreement, “One more question, why did you come to me to talk things out?”

“Mason.” Shaun laughed, “I was already contemplating on whether to go see you or wait for you to see me, but I saw how disappointed you were after your run, and I knew it was over me and because you thought I wasn’t there for you and because I wasn’t waiting for you to congratulate you, so that had already made up my mind to come talk to you, but Mason just really made me want to apologize for being so immature. He told me I was being a dick and that you were really upset that I wasn’t really around and it kinda killed me knowing I was making you upset. And I’m really sorry for handling everything the wrong way. I’m super selfish sometimes, and I’m really sorry if I hurt you at all by ignoring you. I could’ve handled everything a lot better than I did and I’m sorry.” He replied, smiling apologetically.

“You had every reason to be mad, it did suck a lot to have you ignore me, but it was my own fault. So no biggie.” I smiled.

“Good, anyway I should get back to my bus, I’m sure the guys are looking for me and your friends want on the bus so we can start heading off to the next stop.” He said standing up off the couch, and I stood up with him.

“Alright, I’ll see you later than.” I smiled.

“You know it.” Shaun laughed before we hugged each other.

“See you tomorrow.” I smiled and Shaun smiled back at me before getting off the bus, letting my friends all stampede onto the bus.

“What did you and Shaun do?” Zane asked in an intrigued voice.

“We talked things out and everything is back to normal. We apologized, hugged things out and everything is fine and dandy.” I smiled.

“So he’s okay with the whole ‘you’re not ready’ thing?” Chris asked.

“Ya, he said he’d wait.”

“Awe, how cute!” Jake exclaimed.

“Shut up, I’m going to bed, see you all later.” I mumbled and made my way to my bunk before changing into my pajamas.

For the first time in two weeks I slept soundly, knowing that there was no more unneeded drama in my life and that I had my best friend back in my life, and at this moment in time, I couldn’t have been happier to have him back, and to know that he’d wait for me and would always be there for me.