Will You Be There for Me?

I was sitting in the back of my math class next to Zane, waiting for the dreadful last five minutes of class to be over so I could head home.

Everyone had been really welcoming on my first week back to school, getting hugs, high fives, or just stopping me in the middle of the hall to talk. It was strange, even people I never talked to, or knew were in my grade were congratulating me. Luckily though, Gavin had made no attempt in talking to me, probably because he already had Amanda under his arm, but I didn’t care much or think about it much, I was more than ecstatic he was with someone else, it meant he was more than likely out of my life.

“So… you and Shaun?” Zane smiled, as he dragged his desk next to mine instead of doing our solo work.

“What about us?” I mumbled drawing a little star on my worksheet.

“Are you tow a thing yet, or is that still a negative?”

I put down my pencil and looked directly at him, “We’re still a negative; why? Why would you ask that question?”

“Because you guys have been getting all handsy lately.” He laughed.

“Have not!” I retorted.

“Oh please, he’s always holding your hand or resting his hand on your knee, or wrapping his arm around you and just take it and lay your body against his, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you guys were dating.”

“We’re not dating, and if you haven’t noticed, he only does that when there’s a random dude around, or if Scotty brings up whatever guy had hit on me within that hour.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“Why would he act that way though, if you weren’t and item then?”

“Because we’ve talked things out several times, on several different occasions, and he gets threatened, guys tend to do that, you should know. You guys are like fucking predators when it comes to girls and other guys. It’s insane!” I laughed.

“So you guys are going to get together then?” Zane urged.

“Eventually, yes, we hope to.”

“Why not right now?” He asked calmly.

“Because I keep holding us back.” I replied quietly.

“You? Holding back? Since when do you ever hold back?”

“This is different, this is a relationship, not a new fancy trick. This is scarier.”

“Why? He’d be your boyfriend, you like each other, I’d understand if you were, like, in love with him but…” He stopped mid sentence and smiled as if something just clicked in his mind, like he made this huge revelation, “Oh my God, you love him.” He gushed.

“I do not!” I replied harshly, “I’ve only known him, maybe, half a year. How in the wor-“

“Six months is enough time for you to fall for someone. Y’know, I think you’re scared to be with the guy you love.” He replied, putting emphasis on the world ‘love’. “Which is dumb, because he’s not going to hurt you, he clearly cares too much. Why won’t you take a risk this time?”

“You’ve been talking to Shaun and Mason haven’t you?” I mumbled as I started to put everything away.

“Maybe, but besides the point, take a risk this time and stop over thinking everything, just give him a shot. You have nothing to be scared of, do you know how many people would kill to a) find what you and Shaun have and b) actually date a guy like Shaun? He cares about you, so give him a shot.” Zane practically pleaded.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I murmured.

“Because it’s true! Who’s picking you up after school today?”

“Shaun.” I replied quietly.

“And why Shaun, why not Scotty or Mason?”

“Because they refused to because they need to train.” I mumbled back.

“And Shaun doesn’t have to because…?” Zane urged, searching for an answer.

“He does, he just decided to train earlier to end earlier to come pick me up and skate with me later.” I replied.

“And you say he doesn’t care and that you’re scared he’ll hurt you? You, my friend, need to figure out some serious shit before I can talk to you again.” He replied, half seriously yet half jokingly as soon as the bell rang.

I threw my bag over my shoulder before exiting the classroom and making my way over to my locker, dumping all my unnecessary text books in my locker and grabbing my weekend homework.

I quickly made my way across the school to the back to find Shaun parked in the back, patiently waiting for me in his Lambo.

“Nice way to not get recognized.” I laughed, as I opened the passenger seat door and sat down, setting my backpack by my feet.

“Well, I thought I’d pick you up in style.” Shaun smiled as he started his car.

“Well, you definitely pulled that off.” I laughed.

“So, how’s school? Do you know how weird that sounds to say?” He laughed.

I smiled back at him biting my lip lightly, if I haven’t already said it before, I’ll say it now, his laugh is amazing. I loved how lively he got when he laughed and smiled, it was just like this bolt of life came rushing through his body.

“Do you know how excruciatingly boring and stupid math is?” I whined.

“I think I have an idea.” He smiled, turning onto the highway for the rest of our lengthy car ride home.

“I’m sure you do too.” I smiled.

“Why don’t you just stay in with the whole correspondence thing? I did when I was your age and that worked a lot better for me, especially in the math field.”

“Because I have friends in school that want me to stay there, y’know?”

“Ya, but still, they follow you around most of the time, you see them extremely frequently; I think they can stand not being in school with you.”

“Ya, I guess, I’ll have to see what my parents think though.”

“So, anything interesting happen today?” Shaun asked, attempting to start conversation.

“Not really, Zane and I talked a lot during class.”

“About?”

“You.” I replied simply.

“Me?”

“You.”

“What about me?”

“About us really.” I replied, resting my elbow on the armrest.

“Oh.” He replied, his voice dropping, “What are they saying, ‘cause I know we’re always the subject of conversation.”

“It’s mainly about how I need to smarten up and open my eyes, y’know, just get my shit straight.” I replied.

Shaun stayed silent, keeping his eyes fixated on the road, “You don’t need to force yourself into a relationship with me if you’re just not ready yet.” He replied after some time.

“I know, but they keep telling me you won’t wait forever and that I’m being ridiculous about this whole situation, and they keep saying that I should just get over this and be with you.” I sighed.

“Why, why are they trying to force this on you, I don’t get it. I said I’d wait, you said we’d get together eventually, that’s good enough for me for the most part, so why do they want all of this rushed?”

“Because they think I love you.” I replied, forcing out my sentence.

He stayed silent again for a while before speaking, “Do you?”

This time it was my turn to stay silent. I mean, was I in love with him? I didn’t even know, I don’t know what it’s like to be in love, I don’t know those tell tale signs. Sure I felt different around Shaun, like we just fit, but I don’t know if that classifies as love.

“I-I don’t know, but it’s what I’m scared of.” I replied truthfully.

“You don’t have any idea at all, yet everyone else is telling you, you do?” Shaun asked, kind of shocked.

“Well, it’s not that I don’t have any idea at all, it’s just that, I don’t know those signs that’s like ‘Dude, you’re in love’. I just don’t know.”

“Well, it’s simple isn’t it? I mean, when you kiss, or hang out, y’know, the way you feel around that person, if they’re just always on your mind, isn’t that kinda it?” He asked, more than answered.

“How sure are you that that’s what love is?”

“Because I already know what it’s like, y’know, to love someone.” He replied, as he turned onto my street.

“Awe, and who’s the lucky girl that got you to fall in love with them?” I gushed jokingly.

“Uh, you?” He replied with more of a question, and everything fell silent as he pulled into the driveway.

“Oh… Shaun, I-I don’t know what to say.” I replied, except I could’ve possibly told him what I thought was the truth.

“You don’t have to say anything, just forget I said anything, I don’t want you to feel bad or that you have to do anything to make me feel better or whatever, as long as we can still chill and nothing be awkward. I’ll still wait for you, I’ll wait as long as it takes, I just don’t want anything awkward between us.” He replied sincerely.

I smiled back at him, “Promise.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Shaun asked.

“Of course.” I smiled before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek softly, causing him to smile softly as he blushed lightly. “I’ll see you later.” I said as I attempted to get out of his car.

He grabbed my forearm and yanked me down back onto the passenger’s seat before leaning over and pressing his lips roughly against mine.