Will You Be There for Me?

I was standing on top of the vert ramp, desperately searching for the familiar head of red hair. Right now I was waiting for my turn, and I could see Jake, Chris and Zane waiting for me next to the ramp, but Shaun was nowhere, and I knew it was my fault he wasn’t here.

We haven’t talked since the first day here in Boston, and it was now the last day. It has definitely been the hardest two weeks of my life. I did, however show up to watch him skate, even if it was in secrecy, but I was still there and cheered him on.

I was half expecting him to be standing next to my friends waving up at me and waiting to congratulate me, but I was disappointed to still not see him there, or anywhere in the arena.

I sighed heavily and pushed any thoughts of Shaun out of my head once it’s my turn and I carefully positioned my board perfectly before strapping on my helmet and dropping in.

My well thought out run was completely discarded and I just went for it, hitting every single trick after trick that Shaun had showed me, and landing each of them perfectly.

The crowd went wild when I finished and my friends went crazier as the hugged me tightly to congratulate me.

“That was insane!” Was all I could hear my friends yelling as I kept my main priority to see if Shaun was here or not, and to my disappointment, he was nowhere in sight.

“Where did you learn all those tricks?” Zane asked excitedly, brining me back down to Earth.

“Um, Shaun taught ‘em to me. That wasn’t even supposed to be my run, it was a last minute thing.” I laughed.

They each gave me a crooked smile as I looked down at the ground and took off my helmet, ignoring everyone’s loud screams for me as I managed to secure my spot in first place.

“I’m going to head back to the bus.” I fake smiled, leaving the arena of screaming fans and slowly making my way back to the bus.

A chorus of good jobs was thrown in my direction from fellow skaters and I merely thanked them quickly as to get to my bus, without much confrontation. All I wanted was to lie down and think.

If anybody had told me that a boy I had just met was going to be my best friend in less than two weeks and that I’d fall for him even quicker than that, I wouldn’t believe you.

On my way to the bus I saw that familiar head of hair surrounded by some of his friends and they all fell silent as I walked past them and I could feel each of their eyes on me, and at that moment I wanted nothing but to just crawl into a hole and die.

I made my way onto my bus to avoid anymore staring and to get out of that awkward situation.

I tossed my board in the middle of the floor before I threw myself on the couch and rested my hands on my face, groaning loudly and letting out a long breath of air that I had been subconsciously holding when I walked by Shaun.

“Alison.” Mason whispered harshly as he climbed onto the bus.

Mason had gotten back from training late last night, and was spending his little vacationing time here on the Dew Tour to support Shaun and I, Shaun more than anyone though.

“Hey.” I mumbled as he sat down next to the couch, looking straight at me.

“Are you okay?”

“For the most part, no.”

“It’s Shaun, isn’t it?”

I sighed and looked at him unbelievably, “Are you sure you’ve been here for the past couple of hours? Or did Shaun just not tell you?”

“He did tell me, I was just double checking.” He laughed.

“Well, you were right.”

“Y’know, Shaun doesn’t actually hate you, he’s just very upset.”

“I think he hates me, who ignores someone for a good two weeks if they’re only upset with the person?”

“Shaun’s just, I don’t know, scared. He really, really likes you Alison, and he took a huge chance with you just to be rejected. He’s really upset about the whole thing. You just need to give him more time, or at least prove to him you care.”

“It’s kind of hard to when he’s fucking ignoring you!” I said in frustration.

“You’re not trying hard enough, clearly; you have to smack sense into that boy, he won’t listen otherwise. He still talks about you all the time, whether you know it or not he doesn’t hate you and wants nothing more in the world than to be with you, whether it’s romantically or not, he just doesn’t want to waste his time on someone who’ll just hurt him time and time again.”

I sighed heavily once again and buried my hands in my face, “That wasn’t my intention! I didn’t want to hurt him! That was the last thing I wanted! I said I was sorry and that I did care about him and everything, I just don’t want to be with him right now, eventually, but not now.”

“Then why’d you kiss him?”

“’Cause I was in the moment and it felt like the right thing to do!”

“Then why’d you tell him it was supposed to happen, why’d you turn him down?”

“It was supposed to happen.” I whispered quietly, “I don’t know why I turned him down though, I’m scared. That’s why I can’t be with him. I’m just not ready.”

“I think you should go hunt down Shaun and tell him everything, talk things out.”

“That’s what got me in this situation right now.” I mumbled.

“Just, try it again. He’ll probably actually listen this time.” Mason laughed.

“I’ll try to talk to him again… somehow.”

“As long as you try, ‘cause he wants everything to go back to normal more than you know.” Mason smiled as he got up and made his way to the door, “By the way, Shaun knows you’ve been to his runs.”

“Really?” I smiled to myself.

“Yeah, he always spots you out. He tried to be mad and says ‘What’s she doing here?’ kind of thing, but when he sees you, something happens to him. It’s like all life has been restored to him again and then he nails these huge tricks. It really does mean a lot to him that, even through all of this, you’re still there for him.”

“Is he there for me though?” I asked quietly, just putting myself up for disappointment when he replies with a no.

“More than you know.” He smiled, “He sneaks away from us just to go see you compete. He’ll make up some bullshit excuse to run off and see you; he loves watching you. I followed him today to your competition and he was so ecstatic to see you compete. The whole fight just passes him by and he cheers for you louder than anybody else does. You know, I saw you looking for him, you looked so distraught when you couldn’t find him, but he was there. I know those tricks you did today he taught them to you, ‘cause I remember him telling me how he taught you all these sick tricks, and that just set him off. He couldn’t stop smiling when you secured your spot at number one, he was this giddy little red head when you won; it was ridiculous. But he almost instantly stopped when you left abruptly all upset, ‘cause he knows you were upset over him. He does care, a lot Alison, he just doesn’t show it when he’s mad. Even if he’s pretending, he wants you to make the effort, and he won’t wait forever.” And with that, Mason walked off the bus, closing the door behind him.

I smiled to myself, just imagining Shaun going berserk made me laugh. I could just envision a crowd of people and this little red dot amongst them all jumping up and down.

I got up and grabbed my board from off the floor and made my way outside and started skating around where all the buses were on pursuit for Shaun.

I skated around everywhere looking for him, checking every single bus, and asking almost everyone if they knew where he is, and after a good hour and a half I decided to give up and call it quits, and that I’d try again tomorrow when we reached Portland in the early morning.

I grabbed my board and held it on my side as I walked back to my bus and an instant smile appeared on my face when I saw the same boy I was looking for, leaning up against the bus, waiting for me.

Although I was smiling, he was not, and my smile disappeared almost instantly and I could feel my heart beating faster and my breath getting caught in my throat as I slowly walked up to him.

“Hey.” I managed to force out.

“Hi.” He said coldly, no emotion or expression could be read on his face.