What's the Difference?

“What the hell?!?!” I screeched loudly. “How dare he!!” I yelled yet again, along with a string of profanities I can't even remember. That's how fast I was cursing.

I heard my door slam open and my mom was right there asking me what was wrong. I was too confused and upset to even reply to her, so I passed her my laptop and let her read what the message said and who it was from. Once she was done reading the letter, she almost dropped the laptop, but I caught it just in time. Oh...in case you're wondering what all this commotion is about, I'll let you see exactly what was on that screen that made me so mad I wanted to slam my laptop against the wall and smash it to pieces.

To: KhaoticKelly
From: DanceDannyDance
Hey Kelly,
I know that you said you never wanted to talk to me again, and to forget about you and everything else you said that one day. Well, the truth about this sudden message to you is that I can't forget about you. I can't do that. I've been trying so I can just let you move on with your life...but I saw you with that new kid...idk what his name is...and idk...it just made me realize I didn't know what I did wrong to make you break up with me.

I'm sorry that I never did tell you about any of this until now...but I don't want to lose you any more than I already have. I know that I shouldn't be telling you all of this...since you're probably with that guy right now...but I want you to know that I've never stopped loving you. I can't forget about you. I miss you like crazy Kelly. Believe me when I say that whatever it takes, I'll do it to have you back in my arms again.

I'll stop drinking. I'll stop with the girls...they don't mean anything to me. I was just trying to make you notice me...but I guess it didn't work since I had to send you this message to make you pay attention to me for a couple minutes. I don't know if you'll actually read this, but I really hope you do.
I just don't wanna lose you...more than I already have anyway. So please...either reply back to me on here...or call me. You should know my number, but if you deleted it or something, I'll put it at the bottom of this message. But please Kelly...talk to me. Tell me what I did wrong. Because I honestly don't know...tell me so I can fix everything between us...
(775)297-2997 -My number

I reread the message about 5 more times before it actually made sense to me...or at least as much sense as it can to someone who forgot about this guy as much as he could.

“Mom....what...why would he do this?” I asked her...a tear escaping down my cheek.

Cayden saw that and put his arms around me after reading what the message was and understanding why I was reacting like this.

“I don't know honey...but I suggest that you just leave it alone. If he wants to talk, he'll find a way and you can tell him exactly what happened that resulted in you two breaking up. But please remember that you have Cayden now, so I'd advise for you not to do anything stupid.” My mom gave me this look like she knew I was going to do something stupid.

“Don't worry Mom, you should know that I wouldn't hurt Cayden. I like him a lot, and I plan on us being together for as long as this hazel-eyed beauty wants me.” I said and smiled at Cayden.

That gave me the satisfaction of seeing Cayden blush, which made me smile even more.

“K-Kelly....what if he forces you to go back to him...?” I heard my hazel-eyed beauty ask me.

I turned towards him and kissed his forehead.

“I'll tell them that I'm with an angel and that I don't need him. In this whole day, you've made me happier than I've ever been with Danny. Trust me when I say that. I don't want to lose you. Especially since he broke my heart and made me think love didn't truly exist.”

He nodded his head, and then kissed me. My mom made a noise of approval and then closed the door behind her as she went back to what she was doing.

The rest of the weekend went by peaceful, and I was glad my mom made George do every chore in the whole week on that weekend. It gave me some time to get to know Cayden more and not have to worry about George barging into my room and demand that Cayden leave and never come back...or something like that. I'm sure we all know it won't be exactly like that...but to some extent it would. Just not all nice with rainbows and cupcakes.

Monday morning came way too fast for my liking, but this morning, my mom woke me up in a polite way. Not like my stupid sister.

I got on a pair of denim skinny jeans and a simple white button up shirt with a black short sleeved shirt underneath it. For shoes, I went with my all black Converse. Deciding not to wear a sweater this time, I went to put on my eyeliner and grab my cell phone. For a minute, it seemed as if everything paused as I looked at my cell phone. When I picked it up, it suddenly started playing the Jonas Brothers' “When You Look Me In The Eyes.” That only means one thing...Danny. I slid my screen upward and looked. He had sent me a text message.

“Hey Kelly...are you going to talk to me anytime soon?”

I stared at the message some more, until I heard a noise from my room and quickly typed and sent my reply: “Why would I want to talk to you? You broke my fucking heart you idiot.”

I walked into my room, expecting George to be going through my shit like always. But instead I found my gorgeous boyfriend sitting on my bed with my iPod in his hands. He looked up when I walked in and smiled at me.

“Hey, good morning.” He said and stood up to place his hands on my waist and kiss me. I kissed him back and smiled at the good morning kiss I just received.

“Good morning to you too babe.” I said as I ended the kiss, hoping George wasn't awake yet.

Cayden let go of my waist to take hold of my hand instead as I walked out of my bedroom and downstairs to the kitchen. Telling Cayden to stay by the doorway to the kitchen, I looked around for any sign of George. Not seeing him anywhere, I took Cayden's hand in mine and walked into the kitchen where only my sister and my mom were.

“Morning Mom. Did you make anything I can eat while going to school?”

“I actually did make something. Apple fritters, if you want some. I just finished making them, so they're still hot.”

“Okay, thanks Mom. Where's George?”

“Down in the basement. I don't think he'll be coming up any time soon, so you and Cayden are welcome to stay in here with me to eat the fritters.”

I looked to Cayden who smiled at me and nodded his head.

“Alright, we'll stay here until we absolutely have to go to school.”

I sat down in the chair across from my sister and Cayden sat next to me.

“Hey sis.”
“Hello Kelly...who's this?”

“Oh. This is my boyfriend Cayden. Cayden, this is my sister. You won't see much of her so you don't need to know her name. Just know that she's an idiot.”

“Kelly! Be nice to your sister please.” My mom scolded me.

“Fine, whatever. Being nice to her is the same as ignoring her, so that's what I'll do.”

I took the plate my mom handed me with about 3 apple fritters on it. Cayden then got the same thing, and we started to eat. Mom wasn't kidding when she said they were hot. I opened my mouth and started waving my hand in front if it, and Cayden burst out laughing. I glared at him after my mouth cooled off and scrunched up my nose. After Cayden stopped laughing, I resumed eating. But what I didn't know is that Cayden's laughter was cut off by the sight of George. So I just assumed that he stopped laughing because it wasn't funny to him anymore.

“Boy! Who the hell is this fag?” I heard from behind me.

“None of your damn business.”

“What did you say to me? It is my damn business. I'm your father. I deserve respect from you.”

After that, my patience with him out and I stood up to face him.

“Shut the fuck up. You lost the right to call me your son and for me to call you my father after you tried kicking me out of the house once you knew I was gay. You said I was a disgrace to you and that I never should have been born. When you realize how much of an idiotic fucking sperm donor you truly are, then we can talk about your right as my father. But until then do not insult Cayden or else you'll end up in the hospital and I know Mom won't try and stop me!” I yelled at him.

“Come on Cayden. It's time to go to school.” Was all I said after that as I waited for Cayden to get his food and his bag.

I grabbed my food and on the way out the door I grabbed my bag. Once we were outside, I stopped and tugged on Cayden's hand for him to stop too.

“Cayden..I'm sorry that you had to see that. I just don't like the way he treats me. Ever since I came out to them...thinking that they were going to be understanding about it. How wrong I was there. Well, my dad “disowned” me and told me he wasn't going to have a gay son. My mom kept asking what she did wrong to have a son like me. Eventually my mom accepted me...well actually it wasn't until you showed up that she fully accepted me for who I am. Since George doesn't like the way that I am, we get into fights, and it's actually gotten physical, but my mom's always stopped us before it got out of hand. I'm pretty sure that if it happened now, my mom wouldn't stop me. I know for a fact that I'm stronger than George and I could easily pin him on the floor in a second and have the upper hand on him. How that happened I don't know since I don't look strong, but I am...” I ranted on and on, and then Cayden's lips silenced me as they pressed against mine in a quick kiss.

“Stop apologizing Kelly. You don't have to explain anything either. I could already tell that he's a bad person just from the way that you were trying to avoid him all weekend. Let's just try to have a good day and forget about..your dad. Okay?”

“Alright. Let's get to school before we're late.”

Once again, the Jonas Brothers ringtone went off as we were walking and I opened up the text to see what it said.

“Kelly....how did I break your heart? I treated you with all the respect in the world, so I don't know how this happened...”

I growled at my phone and typed my response before hitting send.

“Fuck you. You broke my heart after raping me at the last fucking party we went to. That's how you broke my heart. Then having to see you with every fucking girl in the school just made it hurt that much worse.”

A single tear went down my face and I wiped it away before Cayden could see.
“Who did you just text babe?”

“Oh, my mom wanted to make sure I was okay after the yelling with George.”
“Oh, okay. Your mom is nice.”

“Yeah, after she accepted me she became my best friend in that house. I'm pretty sure she's the only one in that house that accepts me. My sister acts like I don't exist at school, and at home all she's concerned about is her stupid jock boyfriend. I don't fit in at that house, but my mom's made it easier.”

After that, we were pretty silent the rest of the way to school. But one thing never changed between us the whole time. We were still holding hands, and the only time they separated was when we got to our lockers and we had to open them to get a book or two out. Since we had all our classes together, we never had to separate from each other. And believe me, that made me so happy. After that last text message I sent to Danny before school, he hasn't texted back and I haven't seen him at all and it's already lunch time.

Sitting at our usual table, me and Cayden talked and laughed about random stuff. From music we have in common to the most idiotic movies we've seen. In the middle of Cayden telling me that we should go see Eclipse once it comes out, I see my sister running over in my direction and I give her that look like “What the hell are you doing coming over here?” When she gets to me, she's out of breath a little bit, so I give her a moment to catch her breath.

“Kelly! Did you hear about Danny??” She hisses to me.

“No, what about the fuckface?” I ask, disinterested in the conversation already.

“He tried committing suicide this morning!!” She yells, loud enough for more than half of the cafeteria to hear.

My eyes grow wide with fear as I hear this, and I stand up.

“What?!? You mean to tell me that Danny tried killing himself?” I yell at her.
“Yes!! That's what I'm telling you!!”

For once, my sister was helpful in the matter of telling me important information.

What the fuck have I done? I shouldn't have told him that in a text message! But how was I supposed to know he was gonna try and kill himself? Fuck!

“You've gotta get me to the hospital he's in right now! This is all my fault!” I yell in fear, and then remember that Cayden's there with the most confused look ever on his face.

“Cayden, I'm sorry but I have to go and see if he's okay. I know he isn't my responsibility, but I feel terrible about telling him about that night in a damn text message.”

My sister grabbed my arm before I could even say bye to Cayden and I yelled to him that I'd text him once I got to the hospital.

I swear that my sister is the craziest driver you'll ever meet. She swerved around car after car to try and get to the hospital as fast as she could. If we make it to the hospital alive, she's gonna get cursed out for driving so fast.

5 minutes later we got to the hospital and I ran inside to the reception desk.

“Hello, which room is Danny Montgomery in?”

“Uhmmm...room 511.”

“Thank you!” I yelled as I ran to room 511.

Opening the door, I saw the person who hurt me the most. Danny. I walked over to the side of his bed and looked for the cuts. Turning over his arms, I saw the bandages on each arm. I gently kissed where each bandage was and let the tears flow freely. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have tried to kill himself. This is all my fault, and now I can't do anything but feel guilty.

“Danny....I'm sorry that I told you like that...I didn't know that you'd do this. I never thought that you would cut yourself...” I muttered to an unconscious boy lying on the hospital bed.

I closed my eyes as the tears continued to flow down my cheeks and onto the hospital blanket. I heard a groan and opened my eyes to see that Danny was awake and looking at me.

“Danny, I'm so sorry! This is all my fault. I never should have told you in a text message. Are you okay?” I said in a slur of words that surprisingly, Danny understood.

“Don't worry Kelly. It looks bad on a pretty face like yours.” A chuckle from the injured boy and then he continued with what he was saying.

“This isn't your fault. This is all my fault. After you told me what had happened the night before you broke up with me, I knew I made a huge mistake. Then I heard from your sister that you had that new guy Cayden at your house. I guess my mind just went blank after that and the next thing I knew I had a razor against my wrist. I over-reacted, and that's my fault. This whole thing wouldn't have happened if I didn't get drunk that night. Then maybe I would still have you..” He said and muttered the last part, but I understood him.

My mind struggled with the fact that Danny still cared about me after all this time has passed and we haven't spoken at all until now. I missed the way his eyes always glinted with silver when he was happy or sad..the way he bites his nails when he's nervous. Which he's doing right now as I talk to myself in my head once again.

Without my knowledge, Danny had started creeping closer and closer to my face so when I turned to look back at him, he pushed his lips against mine. I instinctively kissed him back. Kelly! What in the hell are you doing? You have Cayden waiting for you to text him to make sure every thing's fine, and what do you do? You cheat on him by kissing your ex-boyfriend Danny who tried killing himself after you telling him he raped you! This is not a good idea at all! Stop kissing him!

Of course I heard the voice in my head screaming at me to stop, but I missed Danny so much this past year or so that I had to stay away from him that I just couldn't stop myself from kissing back and not letting go. I turned me head to the side so it'd be easier to kiss him, when I heard the door open and a shriek of surprise. Followed by a sob and the hospital door slamming shut. Pushing myself away from Danny, I turned to look at the door, but only caught a glimpse of my sister and that was it. I ran out of the room and into the hallway where my sister was.

“Oh great. You've done it again Kelly. Didn't I hear mom tell you not to do anything stupid? And what do you do? You kiss your ex boyfriend and your current boyfriend walks in to check to see if every thing's okay and sees you lip locking. How are you gonna get yourself out of this?” My demanding sister yells to me. I push her out of the way and run out of the hospital entrance to find Cayden sitting across the street with his arms covering his face. What have I done this time?[i/]
Running across the street, I almost trip over Cayden as I try and get to him as fast as I could.

“Cayden. Honey, I'm so sorry. Please let me explain before you yell at me for being a horrible boyfriend.” I gasped out as I caught my breath and sat next to him. He scooted away and turned to look the opposite way.

“I'm listening.” Was all he said as he stared at the cars passing by.

“I didn't know what was happening. All he said was how he wished that he still had me and I turned away to not look at him and the next thing I knew he was kissing me and I was kissing him back. I didn't want to admit it, but I still have my feelings for him..they never got in the way of our relationship, so don't worry about that. I just have to continue to get over him, and this proves that I need you now more than ever. I can't cave to him. I don't want to be hurt yet again by him. I just can't. Please Cayden, don't be mad at me. I swear that it won't happen again. And if he tries to kiss me I'll be sure to push him away.” I rushed to say and yet again I was breathless. Can you blame me? That was a lot to explain and say.

5 or 10 minutes passed until Cayden finally said something that was more than 2 words.
“I know this is hard to do, but take a look at how I felt. Walking into my boyfriends ex's hospital room to see if they needed anything, only to see them kissing like it was a life or death situation. That hurts me. I tried to keep you from getting hurt, but it only resulted in getting hurt myself.”

I tried to say something back to him, but by the time I found the words, he was gone.