What's the Difference?

"Kelly, I love you, but I have to go. I can't stay here. I need to get out of this town. I need to clear my head, of all these thoughts. I'm leaving the states Kelly. Me and my mom are going to Europe to stay with my Grandmother Faye. She said I could stay there, but I'm still going to a mental hospital there. I can't be trusted alone. Or I might still end my life. I'm sorry Kelly. But this is goodbye for now."

"Cayden, please, I need you. Please don't leave me." Kelly sobbed as I grabbed my suitcase and rushed to my mother's car as she got off the phone with the airport. My grandmother paid for our tickets. We have fifteen minutes before our next flight. So it's official. We're leaving.

Me and my mother get into the car and drive away from Kelly as he sobs and cries into his elder sister's shoulder. She looks at me as if I am the devil. I wish I could stay, but I can't. I need to leave. I have ha these thoughts of suicide for a while. And my facade is far too broken to be repaired. So now my mother knows. So I must be sent away. She can't have her son kill himself.

We rush onto the plane after going through security. All the security asked me why I was so upset since I was going to Italy. I'm just stood there and said nothing. I am going back to my old ways. I am going back to being a mute. Why should I speak if no one is going to listen? Me and my mother were bought first class tickets so we enjoyed the flight. Well, correction, she enjoyed the flight while I slept. My dreamless slumber is better then being awake.

The flight attendants were very polite. I just sat there, emotionless. After about eight hours of flight we landed in Italy. My granny Faye was there to greet us. As much as it pained me to show emotion, I can't help but smile when around her. She always lights my spirits. Even now when I feel I may die of a broken heart at any second she still makes me smile.

Two hours later I was in Latnem Enasni Assylem. And within ten minutes I was admitted to my room. I had two roommates. Their names were Damian Williams and Kameron Mason. They were also suicidal gay teens. Damian was very shy and nice and Kameron was very smart and nice. They were both pretty decent guys. Damian was from France and Kameron was from Italy. They both had the accents to prove it. I myself am Italian. So it's easy for me to get my accent back after so long. But I also know french. So I could get both accents easily.

I stayed up all night sobbing trying to keep quiet. But in the middle of the night Damian heard me. He rubbed soothing circles into my back and cooed me soft words. He helped me fall asleep. He helped me forget ho my heart was aching right now. He is even making me forget Kelly.

One more thing, before I was fully asleep I believe Damian kissed my forehead softly. And then he walked over to his bed after playing with my hair a bit and tucking me in. But that kiss could've be just my imagination. But to be honest, I wouldn't mind if it wasn't.

Maybe there is hope for love for me....