Every Season: Volume 1

If there were an award for the most miserable person ever, it would belong to me.

And if you look at my life, then you would find no reason to find me unhappy. I was offered a full scholarship to dance at Juliards, I inherited a quarter of a million dollars from my grandmother, I had the hottest boyfriend (and was frequently reminded about it), got into the hottest A-list parties, and have been asked multiple times by various magazines to pose for the most beautiful girl, or whatever they call it.

Anyone would love to live my life, execpt me. I hate my life, I never asked for it to come this way. I loved my life before I turned twenty-one. When my boyfriend and I were not constantly followed by the paparazzi, when my cellphone wasn't the dance advice hotline, when I was just middle-class, and when I was just an averagely pretty person, not in the top 10 sexiest young women of the year.

As I sit in some famous celebrity's mansion, I forgot who Joel told me who was throwing the party, I think about my life before the fame. But as I think about it, I realize I'm not even famous. My boyfriend is famous. I am just the famous guy's girlfriend. I get offered so much because I am next to him in nearly every picture that he gets taken. I can barely remember the last time we went out in public and nobody cared what we were wearing or where we were going, we could just go out and have fun. Things weren't like that anymore, and I wasn't sure if they could ever go back to normal.

"You're very quiet tonight" A voice behind me says. I turn around. Joel is standing there. He's wearing black dress pants, a gray button down shirt with a sweater vest. Parts of his hair are spiked up using hair gel. We were told to come dressed "casually formal". Despite the weather being freezing, I was wearing a lime green high-waist skirt with a long sleeved gray sweater.

"I'm just not in a party mood" I reply, staring into his emerald green eyes.

He gives me a look of concern and after a moment of silence between us, he takes a few steps over and sits down next to me at the bay window. He places his arm around my shoulder and rests his head against mine. He knows something else is bothering me.

I silently wish that there is no paparazzi outside, or even inside, because this would be the perfect shot for next weeks issue of People magazine "Star Scrapbook" or whatever it's called when they get pictures of couples doing "normal things"

Joel looks up at me "Is everything alright?"

I look into the party. I have no friends here. The only reason I came is because Joel, who's agent wanted him to get closer to some A-list stars.

It's New Year's Eve. I want to leave so badly, but I care about Joel too much to leave him stranded at a party where he knows so few people.

"I'm just so tired" I lie "I barely got any sleep last night"

"Do you want to go back to the hotel?"

I hesitate. So much of me wants to say yes, get me out of here, but my heart's contribution says no. It's almost midnight anyway and we can leave after the countdown to the new year

"Don't be silly" I say and kiss his cheek "I want to kiss you when the ball drops, and it's going to be so busy when we leave anyway, so why don't we just stay for a few more minutes?"

He stares into my eyes one more time before saying "Okay" and walks away to go get me a drink.

I take my phone out of my black clutch. The time says it 11:52. Eight minutes until freedom. It will be a new year and Joel and I can start fresh.

I decide to text my sister Rozelyn

Happy New Year<3 I'll see you in a few days !

I know she won't answer until tomarrow. She's having too much fun right now. Having fun at our parents annual New Year's Eve party. Practically the whole town is invited to that celebration. Joel and I were there for Christmas, but he begged me to come down to New York City for this party. It was the least I could do, I gave him such a lousy present this year.

Joel comes back with a cup with punch in it, we both agreed to only have one glass of chapagne tonight.

At 11:58, he takes my hand and leads my to the dance floor. Ryan Seacrest is talking on the flat screen tv at the front of the room. We can see the shiny crystal ball in the middle of Times Square starting to drop. People start to count down, but a few of the drunk folks are off on the numbers.

The clock strikes midnight and the crystal ball has reached the ground. A few people cheer before kissing their loved one.

Joel and I kiss. A soft, lingering kiss. The wasted couple next to us has already fell to the floor during these few seconds of their make out session.

"Harmony ! Joel ! Over here !" A voice says, barely audible over the large crowd. Then a flash comes.

Joel and I break apart to see a short man a few feet away. We can't see his eyes because he is flashing away with his camera above them.

He has already gotten a few shots before a member of security lifts him up and takes him away.

I sigh and turn away from Joel. It's not his fault, but I just need to be alone now.

This is what I hate most about my life.