Trouble

Nick sat-cross legged, staring at his phone where it sat five inches away, sinking into the cheap bedspread. Somewhere, the air conditioner was thrumming loudly, sending waves of chilled air into the hotel room. This, however, was the least of his worries.

"Hello?"

The line had been filled with static. Nick checked his phone to see if he had service. Four bars. It was then he heard laughter in the background, followed by the loud thumping of a blaring bass.

"Alyssa?" he had asked. The voice didn't sound like hers. Yet, after Jamie's warning, he couldn't help but hope.

She laughed then. If it was at his tone of voice or at something someone with her had said, he wasn't sure. A chorus of voices flooded the background. He could tell she was talking again, but her speech was slurred, her voice fading into the background of louder voices. He simply couldn't hear her.

And then there was a faint, yet loud click, indicating she had hung up on him.

So Nick sat, unmoving, staring at his phone, still believing somewhere in the back of his mind that she'd call back. She had to, right? Wasn't that part of the deal? To keep in touch? The rules?

A soft but steady knocking coming from the doorway alerted him that someone was there. Unsure, he hesitantly made a move for the door, watching the phone as he stood.

The doorknob was cold in Nick's sweaty palms. He had to brush his hands on his jeans before he could firmly grip the door handle, and even then he was still shaking. Taking a deep breath, he pulled open the door to reveal a firey red-head with bright blue eyes. He recognized her immediately.

"Hi," she began shyly. "They accidentally delivered your luggage to my room," she explained, moving a bit further to the left for him to see a heavy-looking suitcase sitting just outside the door directly across the hall. She blushed, running a hand through her stick-straight hair. "I'd have carried it over here but it feels like you may have stuffed a body in there," she joked half-heartedly.

Nick released his grip on the doorknob to run a hand through his thick brown curls. "Yeah, I'll help you," he sighed.

He could feel Brenna's eyes on him as he propped the door open with the dead bolt before crossing the hall to grab his things. She was right; his bags were insanely heavy.

"Hey, are you all right?"

The sudden sound of Brenna's voice made him look up. Her eyes were full of concern and as he stood up, he re-adjusted the strap from one of his bags. "Yeah," he answered quickly. She cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"I'm positive," he replied quickly, doing his best to muster a smile. It wasn't convincing and Brenna noticed.

"You should talk about it," she concluded. Nick cocked his head to one side and watched her as she pushed open the door to his room. "You don't mind, do you?"

She was already in his room, though, and Nick sighed aloud.

"Guess not."

The door had already swung closed again, hitting the deadbolt between it and the doorframe with a loud bang. He kicked it open again with his foot, struggling to keep it wide enough to walk through without dropping his bags. When he finally made it, he let them fall to the ground just inside the room. Brenna was already sitting with her legs crossed on his bed, her eyes impatient.

"There's a phone," she declared, pointing to the taunting iPhone laying near the edge of the bed.

"Uh, yeah. There is," he confirmed, his eyebrows pushing together.

"You're in a bad mood and there is a phone laying on the bed. There's no one in here, so I suspect someone pissed you off over the phone," Brenna summarized with a hint of frustration in her voice.

"So..."

"Miss Scarlet is in the library with the candlestick," she stated blandly.

Nick bit his lip. "Obvious?"

Brenna shook her head. "Nah. I'm just really good at this. So who was it?"

Nick sighed, moving across the room to sit beside Brenna on his bed. She scooted over to make room.

"It's just my friend, Alyssa. I'm really worried about her," he admitted, staring at the phone which still lay motionless before him. Somewhere in the distance, near the highway, he could hear cars passing by. He abruptly wished he were in one, on his way back to California to check on his best friend. What Jamie had told him couldn't be true, could it?

"What's making you worry about her?"

Brenna's voice broke suddenly through Nick's thought process and he found himself pausing and re-thinking what she had just said. Everything seemed completely topsy-turvey. What Jamie said seemed so un-characteristic of Alyssa, but the phone call had proved her true. Somewhat, anyway.

He recounted everything to Brenna, who sat silently, patiently nodding at the appropriate times. When he finished, she let out a low whistle and rubbed her right eye in a tired manner. It took her a moment before she finally spoke and Nick watched her with a certain measure of apprehension.

Finally, she opened her mouth to speak and concluded in a soft voice, "You have more problems than me."

It was her final word on the subject and she stood, patting Nick on the back before making her way to the door. She paused there and sent him a glance over her shoulder. "Let me sleep on that one, okay?" And with that, she was gone.

Nick flung himself backwards onto the bed. His thoughts were too tangled to comprehend. His entire life was becoming an oxymoron and he had absolutely no control over anything anymore. The only conclusion he could come to was that he needed to go back. Go back now. But how would he manage that with another month of touring left?

Tiredly, he reached his hand over and turned off the sole light on his bedside table. The darkness engulfed him and he sighed before saying a silent prayer that Jamie could keep things under control until he could return.

[rollthedie]

Nick woke to the sound of his buzzing phone. Hopefully, he opened one eye only to come face-to-face with disappointment. It was only an alarm he had set the night before to wake him up on time.

The curtains were closed, but he was sure that beyond them, the world was still dark. He tiredly ran a hand over his face before throwing the covers off his body and twisting around until his bare feet hit the ground. He gave a great sigh before gathering up all his strength and pushing himself from the bed.

Slowly, he made his way to the bathroom where he turned on the water in the shower before stripping himself of his clothes. The water was extremely warm, beating rhythmically on his back. It was refreshing and woke him up quickly, which was his original intention. The problem was that there was absolutely nothing to occupy his mind.

He closed his eyes, wishing the steam of the shower would somehow find it's way through his ears and into his head to fog his mind of the thoughts overtaking him. What Jamie had said about Alyssa couldn’t possibly true. The evidence may be layed out before him, but he would not accept it. He couldn’t. Because somehow, it felt like his fault. And somehow, maybe it was. And he couldn't do one thing about it.

Opening his eyes, he reached for the miniature bottle of citrus scented shampoo and lathered it into his hair as he tried to connect how it had gotten from there to here. When had he lost complete control of his life? And who had taken it from him?

Everything was so monotonous. His days were scheduled, his nights were short. And just as he felt grateful for making it through another day, the routine would repeat in an endless cycle he couldn't stop. He couldn't even reach out and touch it. It was invincible, though he wasn't.

Eventually, the hot water ran out and Nick reluctantly turned off the shower, sliding open the door and stepping out into the steamy bathroom. He used a towel to dry off his hair before wrapping it around his waist and opening the door for air.

The thing about this particular hotel was that the sinks were placed outside the actual bathroom, a closet opposing them. He turned on the faucet, making sure it was on cold before splashing his face with the water collected in his hands. He watched the clear liquid flow from the faucet head and into the bowl below it, observing each ripple and wave it made, wishing it would make him feel better. It didn't and he turned it off.

Placing a palm on each side of the sink, he finally brought his head up to face himself in the mirror. His eyes were surrounded by dark circles, results from his repetitive sleeepless nights. His lower lip had a sore and he realized how often he had been biting it lately. He'd have to kick that bad habit soon. His face had begun to break out in places and Nick sighed, running a hand over his face.

If girls didn't kill him, he didn't know what would.

[rollthedie]

"You look like crap" were the first words to leave Joe's mouth when he caught sight of Nick. Nick completely ignored him, pushing past his brother and further into the room they were waiting in while Transmitting Lori prepared to go on stage. Exactly an hour until it was their turn, and he could hardly stand due to exhaustion. There was nothing he could think of to do that he hadn't tried already. He had already consumed his weight in sugar-free Red Bull and now there was nothing to do but to wait. Nick hoped the crowd would transfer some of their energy to him.

As he crossed the room, Kevin looked up from the book he was reading to take in Nick's appearance. He kept his observances to himself, however, and wordlessly returned to his book. Nick was eternally thankful as he made his way to a snack machine and inserted a dollar. He tiredly punched in B7 and watched as the coils moved to set free a Reeses. He greedily snatched up the chocolate, ignoring the stares on his back. His blood sugar was low.

Abruptly, he heard the door open and looked up to see Brenna in the doorway, surveying the room. Finally, her eyes fell upon Nick and she smiled before bounding across the room towards him. He was surprised, but did his best to surpress it as he took a bite of one of the Resses cups. Pushing the jumble of chocolate and peanut butter to the side of his mouth, he managed to ask, "Whaphs uh?"

She made a face at his bad etiquette, but continued to speak anyway. Nick pretended he couldn't feel the eyes of his brothers on him.

"You," she began, "need to go out there," she indicated to the door with her pointer finger, "and watch our set tonight. Okay?"

Nick blinked. She sighed exhasperatedly, running a hand through her wavy red hair. "It wouldn't kill you and it might be more fun that sitting in here and staring blankly at the wall for the next hour."

He couldn't disagree with that. Swallowing, he simply shrugged before taking another bite. Brenna smiled again before turning on her heel and leading the way out the door. He followed quickly, wishing he could somehow increase to a speed which would make him invisible to his brothers' ever-watchful eyes.

Brenna didn't say another word the rest of the night. By the time they made it near the stage, the band was already out and the crowd was restless. She threw him a glance over her back before running out on stage to the applause of thousands.

Nick slid down to the floor with his back against the wall and took another bite of his Reeses. Brenna was belting out the lyrics to one of their more popular rock songs and he was tapping his foot to the rhythm. She was perfectly on key and Nick had never realized before how incredibly talented Brenna really was. He had never really agknowledged her existance.

He sighed, hitting the back of his head purposefully against the concrete brick wall behind him. If his life were a song, the crowd would be terrified to sing along.