Suffocate

My cheek was still burning when I slid clumsily into Jacob's tiny car, and I had done my best to cover it up with makeup but if Jacob noticed, he hadn't said anything yet. I spent most of the day packing my stuff, only coming out if necessary. I had hardly eaten all day, because I knew that Dad was off of work and I couldn't bear to stand in the same room with him.

"You ok?" Jacob asked as we turned out of the driveway. I sighed softly, and awkwardly played with my hands in my lap. It felt almost as though the whole world had just collapsed on me. I had no idea what to do.

"It's about a half hour drive, right?"

"Yeah, give or take." Jacob glanced at me. We had stopped at a red light, the one that always takes forever to change. There wasn't much traffic at the time of day, as most everyone was off of work now. The sky was painted pink and yellow as the sun went down, and I almost got caught up in the beauty until I remembered what I was doing.

"Awesome," I mumbled. I rolled up my window and took a deep breath. "I'm still crying about the baby, and Ray has demoted me, which doesn't even make any sense because I didn't do anything wrong, and --" Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled it into my hand. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. He didn't say anything or look at me, keeping his eyes on the road ahead of us. "And Dad has gotten really weird. Did I tell you that when we got back from Portland, he was in..." I gulped, swallowing something hard, "in Liz's room? Just standing there, looking at her stuff."

Jacob sighed softly. I wanted him to say something so much that it almost hurt. Instead, I heard the tires spinning underneath us and cars passing.

"He's kicking me out, Jake," I whispered.

This caught his attention. "What? Why?"

"Basically," I sighed, "after you left he came in and told me I had no respect and that he wasn't going to have me around if I was just going to sneak around." Jacob took a deep breath, and lifted my hand to his lips to kiss it. Maybe later I would tell him that the cut on my face was not from getting whacked with a twig.

"Do you have any idea what you're going to do?" He asked, glancing at me quickly.

"No," I whined. "I don't have the slightest idea." A smile crept onto his face, and I furrowed my eyebrows. "This isn't funny, Jake."

"No, I'm not laughing," he said. "I was going to ask you about this later, but I guess now is a good time." I could see the mischief in his eyes and it made me a little suspicious.

"What?"

Jacob turned the car left, and we were officially on the highway now. "I figured that, if there's no room for me at place, and you've been kicked out now, that me and you should just, um... "

"What?" I repeated, anxious.

"Would you let me finish?" Jacob stifled a laugh. "You know how my Uncle Ethan just moved to Forks?" It took me a moment, but I nodded. I had only met the man a few times before, and each time he had rambled on about how much he needed to get out of the secluded La Push and move somewhere where there were people. Personally, I'd rather live in La Push than where I do now. "Well, his old place hasn't been sold yet, and I've been talking to him about the possibility of renting it."

I inhaled, and suddenly became aware that I had been holding my breath. "I don't know, Jake," I said. "You don't have a job, and I don't think I can --"

"Sarah, did you hear the part where I said I've been talking to him about it?" Jacob squeezed my hand. "I mean, we're family. He already promised that he would give it to us for whatever we - er, you - can give him."

My throat closed slightly, and I let it sink in for a minute or two. I didn't make enough money to get my own place, but I had to go somewhere. Dad would have no sympathy for me, I knew, but maybe Ray would. If I asked him for a raise, or more hours, then I could make enough to negotiate a low rent price. I chewed on my lip thoughtfully, staring at the dashboard as I did so. "I'll need to talk to Ray," I said softly. "If I can persuade him to give me a raise, then..."

Jacob beamed. "I love you. Really, I do."

*

The bonfires at First Beach were very similar to the ones at Sam's house, except sometimes, the ones at Sam's got a bit more obnoxious. Paul and Embry would pull pranks on most of the other guys, perhaps knock over a table while the girlfriends of these giant men stood in the background and avoided any of the mischief. Unfortunately, by the time that we arrived at the beach, Sam was already yelling at Paul.

"You're such a child," Sam snapped, whacking Paul in the back of the head. "Grow up."

"What happened?" Jacob asked, holding tightly onto my hand. I walked behind him, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I hadn't spoken to any of them since the night I told Emily I was pregnant, but I was certain they were all aware of what happened.

"Paul," Sam grumbled. "That's what happened." He turned to look at us, and offered a small smile. "I'm glad you made it, Sarah. It's been a while."

I smiled back, but hardly. "I know."

Jacob sighed, and pulled me into him so that he could wrap his arms around my shoulders. "Please try to be a least a little happy to be here. I know you're tired, but it's upsetting to see you like this." His breath was hot against my ear as he whispered this. I closed my eyes, and let my forehead fall against his chest.

"I'll be fine, Jake," I mumbled.

He kissed my hair, and let go of me. "I love you."

"I love you." I stood on my toes to kiss his lips softly. Closing my eyes, I held it for a moment, enjoying the short flutter in my stomach. There was a cat call from one of the boys, and I felt my cheeks burn slightly.

"They're idiots," Jacob said when I pulled away.

"Yeah, I know."

"Hey, Sarah?" There was a hand on my shoulder, and when I looked, I was surprised to see Kim Connweller, Jared's imprint whom I have only met one other time. "Can I talk to you?"

I cleared my throat quietly, and then waved Jacob away. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"I just.. I mean I know that we've never really talked before, but I was hoping maybe sometime we could get together and hang out, since we're the same age and everything." She was fidgeting with her hands nervously, and I laughed quietly. Jared normally didn't bring Kim around, and I wasn't sure why. She seemed comfortable around the rest of us, seeing as he imprinted on her back before I moved here. "Emily is amazing, but sometimes I feel like she's more of my mother than my friend."

"I absolutely know what you mean," I said. "Yeah, I'd like that. Um, do you have a phone number I can call you at?" I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and lit it up.

"Awesome, yeah."

We exchanged phone numbers, and ended up spending most of the night chatting. It felt nice to have found a friend in Kim, and I hoped that I'd spend a lot more time with her.