Suffocate

As I nibbled on a banana nut muffin, I felt Billy staring at me curiously. "So, do you have an idea for a date?" He asked me finally, after what seemed like hours of silence. I gave him a confused look.

"For what?"

Billy smiled. "The wedding, of course."

My heart sank. I should've known before hand that Jacob would tell his father, but I had made him promise not to tell anyone. I tucked my left hand underneath the table and avoided staring at the engagement ring on my finger. "No," I said. "How did you know?"

The old man licked his lips, that smile still on his face. "That was his mother's engagement ring."

Jacob had never, ever mentioned his mother, and I didn't want to ask him about her. I figured it was probably a touchy subject for him. I felt sad for him. "Oh," was all I could say. I brought myself to look at the ring, and almost smiled at it's simple beauty.

"It's a tradition in the family that if the mother dies before her oldest son is married, he'll give her rings to the girl he loves." Billy sighed, and took an apple from the center of the table. "I've known he was going to ask you for about eight months now."

I nodded, and blinked a few times. I was still in shock, having no idea that Jacob's mom had died. Chewing gently on my lip for a moment, I looked at Billy. "I - I had no idea about..."

He shook his head. "Jake doesn't talk about it. Hasn't since about a month after it happened."

I frowned, and picked another piece off of my muffin. The room fell quiet, an almost uncomfortable silence that made me squirm slightly. I hadn't given much thought to the wedding at all, really, and wasn't even sure if I wanted it to be within the year or not. I hadn't turned nineteen yet, and the thought of marriage was terrifying right now.

"How does your hand feel?" Billy asked me suddenly, making me jump.

I looked at him. "It still hurts, but not as much."

"Would you like some pain reliever?" He backed away from the table, looking at me. His eyes were older than the rest of his face, which was wrinkled and swarthy. Jacob looked just like his father, but more in the way the both held themselves rather than appearance. Jacob had once told me that he came from a really long line of chieftains, and that he was actually second in command to Sam because of his lineage. Billy had the same leader aura.

"Yeah, that'd be great," I said, reaching for my glass of apple juice. It had already been a couple of hours since Jacob left, and we haven't heard a word from anyone. It was starting to worry me.

When Billy left the room, I stood up and cleaned up my mess of crumbs. I had already eaten three muffins and two apples, trying to fill up on the smaller foods that didn't really have any substance to them. I would be alright until later, though, and decided to save some of the other food for someone else.

Billy came back a moment later, holding out some aspirin for me. I took them gingerly and smiled in thanks. I washed them down with water, and whispered a thank you to him. It was still raining outside, and I really started to worry now. Where were they? I knew that Sam was pretty adamant about thorough patrols, but it was almost eight o'clock.

With a soft sigh, I ambled back into the living room and stopped near the hallway. I was starting to smell, but taking a shower would be awkward, because I didn't bring my own clothes, and it wasn't my home. I decided that I had no other choice though, and after grabbing a pair of Jacob's shorts and one of his shirts, I locked myself in the bathroom.

My shower was quick, and after I had dressed myself, I curled up on the couch. The clothes were so big on me that I swam in them, but the smell that lingered in the fibers from Jacob's skin relaxed me until I was getting sleepy again. I closed my eyes. All I wanted to do lately was sleep.

"Hey." Jacob was kneeling beside the couch, and I almost jumped out of my skin in surprise. He brushed his hand along my cheek, smiling slightly. I sighed contently, and sat up, letting my forehead fall onto his shoulder.

"Thank God," I murmured. "Is everything ok?"

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. "Everything is fine. For now." He kissed my skin, and I shivered. "Sorry I scared you."

I looked at him, lifting my head up. "I didn't know you were home already."

Jacob smiled. "You were in the shower. I must've been talking with Dad outside when you were done." He pulled at the fabric that drowned me, and raised an eyebrow. "Are these my clothes?"

"I wasn't going to wear my clothes again," I mumbled, pressing my forehead to his. His breath was warm, just like his skin, and I kissed his lips softly. "I'm supposed to go to work today," I said. "Do you think it'll be safe?"

Jacob chewed on his lip. "That's the thing. As long as you're with me, or one of the other guys, she won't be able to find you. But, she left the area sometime early this morning. We haven't been able to find her, but as long as --"

"So, basically, no?" Ray was going to kill me. I couldn't miss anymore work, and especially because I asked for that raise. If I didn't show up today, he definitely wouldn't give it to me.

"Well, what hours are you working?" He climbed up onto the couch beside me, and pulled me into his lap, with my back facing him.

I took his hands and held them at my belly. "I'm working eleven to four today."

"Shit," he mumbled, kissing my shoulder. "Can't you tell him you're sick, or something? It's just until we find Liz."

"No, Jake," I whined. My head fell back against him. "No, because if I do then he won't give me that raise I asked for, or he'll fire me. I really don't know. I've missed too --"

"Ok, ok. I get it." He hugged me from behind, and took a deep breath. "I'm just worried, that's all."

I closed my eyes, and exhaled slowly. "I know. But everything's ok." Jacob played with my wet hair for a while, and I listened to his heartbeat, his breathing, the sounds of Billy thumping around in his chair, and then my own heart. I was scared of what was going to happen. I trusted the pack with my life, but there were some things that even they couldn't do.

"What are you thinking about?" Jacob whispered, his breath tickling my skin. I wiggled a little, digging myself deeper into his body.

"You."

"Oh, yeah?" He kissed my hair and lay back on the couch. I fell beside him, and as he wrapped his arm around me I rested my head on his chest. "Tell me."

"Well," I began, taking a deep, slow breath, "I'm thinking about how beautiful you are. I'm thinking about the way you smell, and how you worry about me even when you know you don't have to." I threw my arm across his belly, clutching his shirt. "I love you, Jacob."

Jacob kissed my hair again, and patted my back gently. "I love you, too."

*

The diner was already busy when I went in to work later that morning. Jacob had agreed to let me go as long as he could hang out nearby so that Liz wouldn't be able to smell me over his scent. Sam and Jacob had argued about who was going to watch me for almost ten minutes, but when the Alpha in Jacob finally came out Sam backed down.

"Sarah! Thank God you're here," Ameila rushed towards me, holding a stack of menus and some silverware wrapped in napkins. "Most of that side of the restaurant hasn't been helped yet, because I've been the only waitress here since we opened. I need you to take over that side." I took the menus and silverware from her and got started almost as soon as she had finished.

I was going to have to prove myself if I wanted that raise.