Suffocate

It'd been two weeks since we came home from Portland, but they had been the longest two weeks of my life. Ray had worked me to the bone, making me cook food, contrary to what I had thought. Cooking was not my forte, and I was starting to believe that he was punishing me. I was only gone for a weekend, for Christ's sake.

After I had clocked out and gone home, I fell face first on my bed and let out a loud, drawn out groan. The house was quiet, except for the occasional squeak of the floorboards, which came with the house. The building had to be at least seventy years old. I assumed that Brenda and Dad must be at work, or on one of their dates that they took every other weekend. If they really didn't want Jacob to come over unless they were home, they needed to do a better job of enforcing it. Sitting up, I shot him a quick text and changed out of my work uniform, pulling on my pair of eighth note pajama pants and a shirt that fell to my knees. For the last two weeks, I just didn't feel comfortable in anything except baggy clothing.

I descended on the stairs and curled up on the couch. My lower abdomen cramped slightly, and I whimpered. I cried for almost the whole first week that I was home. Neither Dad nor Brenda would say anything about it, which I appreciated. I hadn't even talked to Jacob about it.

When he showed up at my house about a half hour later, my mind was numb. I didn't know what to say to him. "What's wrong?" Jacob cupped my face, closing the door behind him with his foot.

My eyes watered, but I blinked any remnant of a tear away and shook my head. "No, nothing. Just sit with me, please." I took his hand and pulled him towards the couch. Jacob pulled his hands away, only to clasp them together around my waist.

"Don't lie." He kissed my lips softly. It was short. "Tell me what's on your mind."

I stared at him, curling my fingers against his chest. It was strange to see him fully clothed, because normally he wore a pair of shorts and tank-top. To see him in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt was strange. "I love you," I murmured. "I love you more than anything else in this whole wide world."

Jacob sighed, a small smile creeping onto his lips. "I love you, too, but I can tell something's bothering you."

With a growl, I tried to push him away. He didn't budge. "Maybe I'll tell you later. Just sit with me, ok?"

He nodded, and we curled up besides each other on the couch. Jacob slung his arm around my shoulders. It was nice, for once, to just sit together. The only good show playing on the television was Say Yes To The Dress, a series on TLC in which a bride-to-be goes to a high class store in New York to find the perfect wedding dress. Jacob was hardly paying attention, and instead played with my hand. His touch was very delicate. It always had been. For a guy of his size, no one would imagine he was the biggest softie ever.

"That's pretty," I found myself mumbling aloud as another bride tried on a dress.

"It's too poofy," Jacob said. "I hope yours isn't like that."

My heart skipped a beat. "What?" I turned to look at him, and he kept his eyes on my hand, smiling slyly. Jacob rubbed the pad of his thumb across my ring finger. "Jake, I --"

"You told me to ask you again in six months, babe." He finally looked at me. "Hey guess what? It's been almost seven." Jacob's hair fell onto his eyebrows. "Marry me, Sarah."

I sighed, and let my forehead fall onto his shoulder. I had forgotten all about his proposal, but now that I thought about it, I remembered every detail. How could I have forgotten? Jacob shifted his weight, and pulled out his wallet. I closed my eyes.

"Look at me," he said. I reluctantly lifted my head from his arm. "I don't understand why you won't just say yes," he whispered.

I pushed his hair to the side, and kissed his nose. If I told him to wait another six months, he would get upset, and I didn't want to see him angry with me.

"Besides, just because we'd be engaged doesn't mean we --"

I kissed him hard, and it took him a moment to respond. His hands cupped my chin, stroking my skin softly.

"I'll marry you," I whispered, pulling away but leaving very little space between us.

"What?" He stared at me, eyes wide. "Really?"

I scoffed. "No, Jake, I just said that because I wanted you to get all excited, and then be a dream crusher." The sarcasm was oozing from my voice. "Yes! I'll marry you."

He beamed with excitement. "I honestly thought it'd be tougher than this. To get you to say yes, I mean." He rambled on, but I stopped listening. It made me feel good to know he was happy, but at the same time I was dreading what Dad and Brenda were going to say. Maybe they'd be happy that I was going to be out of here sooner than later. They had brought up moving out a few times as I was passing through the room, but we had never had a real conversation about it.

I blinked when Jacob started to dig through his wallet. "Here," he said, pulling out the engagement ring he'd tried to give me the first time. It was a very simple, beautiful ring: just a single diamond placed delicately on a thin, silver band. I gave him my hand, and felt my stomach twist as he slid the ring onto my finger.

"We're gonna get married," I whispered as it finally hit me. "Wow."

Jacob grinned, "yeah, we are." I looked at him, drowning in his dark brown eyes. I had always planned on saying yes, it wasn't that part that had me reluctant and begging him for more time. It was realizing that I had to grow up. I had to pay my own bills, and go to the grocery store by myself, and do other adult things that I didn't want to do. At least I got to do it with Jacob.

I kissed him softly. His skin was so soft for person who stomped around the woods all the time (then again, it wasn't really him). "Are you patrolling in the morning?" I whispered, keeping close to him. It was getting close to ten. Dad and Brenda were normally out late when on one of their dates.

"Why?" Jacob asked suspiciously. I bit my bottom lip, and took his hand, leading him up the stairs and into my bedroom. I pushed him against the wall, and reached over to shut and lock the door. At least if Dad and Brenda came home unexpectedly, Jacob could climb through the window. Jacob dug his hands underneath my shirt, and had it over my head before I had time to catch my breath. He guided me towards my bed, and I fell with an "oomph" as the mattress springs squeaked underneath us. "Have I told you I loved you today?" He murmured against my neck as I played with the waistband of my pajama pants.

"I think so, yeah," I grunted, pushing the fabric past my hips. "Less talk more undressing."