Life Like This

I started to wonder whether calling out his name was a bad idea. I sat still on the floor, my legs crossed, just breathing in deep breaths trying to calm my nervous heartbeat. Jf- <i>wait, no, stop calling him that</i>… The kid I’d spent my entire high school career swooning after was standing in my doorframe, frozen.

Slowly, he turned back towards me. “<i>What,</i> Decklan? What do you want from me? <i>What? </i>Because I have no idea, all you’ve done is complain about how awful I was to you for leaving, but you rip my head off when I try to explain it to you. So what the hell is it that you want?”

I stood up shakily, and walked towards the door. “Hold your hand out,” I said. “Please.” He did. I took it, saying, “But remember, this is just for clo-” I, unfortunately, was stopped by Kennedy crashing his lips against mine.

This was not a kiss.

This was an injured rabbit being mauled by a mountain lion.

I tried to shove him off of me, but he slipped an arm around my waist, pulling me so close our bodies were pressed together. I couldn’t move. I tried to pull away from his kiss, but Kennedy slid his other hand to the back of my neck, deepening it instead.

This was <i>not</i> a kiss.

It was prison. It was a bank-heist-turned-hostage-situation, and he was demanding what we used to have. Key words: <i>used to</i>. Key Word: <i>Hostage.</i>

He was the one who left. Why is so hung up on me?

“Kennedy,” I gasped out, “Kenny— Kennedy— Stop, please— <i>Stop</I>,” I tried. He wouldn’t listen. Pat and Garrett, however, got the idea.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the drummer stand up, ready to pull Kennedy off of me if
he needed to. “Kennedy!” Garrett yelled. “Cut it out!”

His frantic kisses slowed and eventually stopped. “I… Decklan, I just…”
“I just wanted some <i>answers.</I> Closure, Kennedy. Get over whatever’s freaking you—” I said.

He cut me off. “Getting over you is the problem!” he shouted. “It was obvious, Decklan, that you were angry and hurt, and that you were done with me. So I tried to get on with life. But Decklan… I’ve been trying for years. I can’t…” He glanced around the room, looking kind of torn. Like he wasn’t sure if he should tell me. Lowering his voice, Kennedy continued, “I can’t get over you. And the more we fought, the more I wanted to fix it. The rockier things got between us, the more I needed to smooth it out. Daisy, every time you hang up on me, I get more hung up on you.”

Every word stung like the tears stinging at my eyes. “Kennedy… I just… Why didn’t you ever—”

“Because I slept with some other girl, alright?” he shouted. He pulled his hair back and started to pace by the door. “Alright?” Kennedy repeated, his voice quiter, more emotional. Almost… Like he’d cracked.

I couldn’t digest that. “What?” I asked him. “When, I… Kennedy, what are you…” I stuttered, but no full sentences came out. I could see Jared looking at Kennedy, a look of disbelief on his face. Pat and Garrett were looking at me, both confused and slightly scared, it seemed, at this news.

And <i>God,</i> was it news.