Tonight the Music Speaks For Us

"Why are you fighting this Zack?" Mackenzie had never in her life been so frustrated. "I want to make something of myself! I don't want to have to depend on you and college is going to do that for me! Is there something wrong with me wanting to be my own person?" The couple had been up all night arguing.

"Because you fuckin' chose it over me!" he screamed. She stood up from where she had been sitting on their king size bed and began to angrily pace back and forth across the bedroom, she pulled her wavy chocolate colored hair up into a ponytail, her blue eyes were an unusually bright shade of blue, and her tear stained cheeks were rosy.

Rain pelted against the window, Zack stood watching out arms crossed over his chest, the thunder crashing outside as the lightning danced across the pitch black sky. This was supposed to be a highlight in Zack's life. City of Evil had just been released days ago and he and his band were planning on touring around the world, finally achieving what they had always dreamed of, but tonight was going to change it all...

"I don't want to depend on you forever! I love you, and I want to do what’s right for both of us!" she challenged.

After all, she had stood by him all these years, helping to get his dream off the ground. It was his turn to stand by her...

"The only person you're thinking about right now is you! You're moving across the fucking country! You're leaving me here! You're going to go start fresh somewhere else!"

"It's amazing that you know what I want before I do! I don't even know what I'm doing yet and who the hell said I was leaving you?!" she screamed.

But that was just it. She didn't know he saw the acceptance letter from Ohio State. He saw the call log, and he knew she had called the university. He had put the pieces together, and he knew she was planning on leaving him. She hadn't said any of these things, but she didn't have to tell him. He just knew.

"You and I both already know you've made your decision." he sneered.

"What are you saying Zack?" she asked finally, reaching up to wipe away her blackened mascara tears. He looked up from his spot by the window pulling his hands from his pockets as he wiped at his exhausted face.

"I'm saying," but he hesitated. "I'm saying I'm done, I won't be second best, I won't let myself sit here and hurt while you run off and fall in love with someone else."

She thought for a moment, knowing that Zack had made up his mind. And she would never get the chance to tell Zack she had called to turn Ohio State down. That instead, she had done what she had seen as best for them. She would be attending USC in the fall, a decision she had made to keep herself close to Zack. He would never know...

"People are people, and sometimes...it just doesn't work out..."

Mackenzie mumbled to herself, hands resting in her lap in the mess of the white fabric that seemed to completely engulf her tiny body.

She had been telling herself that every day for the past two and a half years.

She felt a warm tear roll down her flush cheek. She reached up to wipe it, but the door to the room opened. Taking a deep breath she glanced up into the mirror. She prepared herself, she wanted to make sure no one saw her crying. At least...not yet. She glanced in the mirror, only to see her older brother standing behind her. He flashed her that signature Syn Gates smile.

"Hey Bri..." watching the man in the mirror as he approached, sitting in the stool next to her. Brian looked at Mackenzie, he had always hated to see his baby sister cry.

Mackenzie had fought with herself, and with the world around her for what had seemed like an eternity, and although she had done an exceptional job hiding her hurt from most everyone else, he could read her like a book.

"Hey kiddo," kissing her cheek he moved off the stool falling right next to her onto the vanity bench. "you look like an angel Kenz...you really do," she let out a sniff, wiping a tear before it could fall.

"you clean up pretty nice yourself," Brian just cracked a smile as Mackenzie sat down the tissue she had been using to dab at her tears, reaching for the sapphire colored Armani tie, she fixed the humbled mess he called a knot. Tying a tie had never been one of Brian's strong suits.

"Matt's uh...Matt's a nervous wreck..." Brian mumbled with a soft smile, Mackenzie let out a half laugh but unable to hold back a second longer she coughed, and her eyes began to well with tears.

"he’s probably just getting cold feet," she managed to sniff out. Brian laid a soft hand on Mackenzie's knee.

"actually, he’s worried you're going to get cold feet..." she could only laugh through her tears.

"I've come too far to get cold feet..." she said softly as she stared down at the ring. "it would crush Matt if I didn't walk down that aisle."

Cold feet would get her nowhere at this point. The one she loved was gone, Zack had long gotten over her. She would do what she now knew was right. She would push all her looming feelings to the back of her mind and her heart, and she would walk down that aisle. She would marry a man who loved her. A man who cherished her. And she knew over time, she would learn to feel the same about Matt.

"Speaking of cold feet," Brian mumbled reaching into his suit jacket. "Zack asked me to give this to you..." he pulled out a box wrapped in paper that was Tiffany blue. She took the box reluctantly, staring at it for a moment before sitting it down in her lap.

"what is it?" she mumbled shakily, Brian shrugged .

"No clue, I didn't ask. He just asked me to give this to you, and not say anything about it to Matt..." Brian said softly as her blue eyes began to well with years once again.

"How'd you manage to get this out without him seeing it?"

"Matt went out to take a few pictures with his parents, Zack caught me going out the door and handed it to me, so I shoved it in my jacket..." she hesitated for a moment, looking over at her brother. "look Kenz, I know you love him. It’s no secret okay? You don't have to hide from me. Just open it..." he said simply as she hesitated but finally took a breath and began ripping at the paper letting it fall to the floor she hesitated as she stared at the box. Finally grabbing at the top of the box, the two pieces slid apart with ease.

Whatever was inside was wrapped in silver tissue paper.

Lifting it up she saw a pile of things.

On top was a single dog tag off the chain Zack had worn every single day for the past eight years. Mackenzie had had them made for his sixteenth birthday, one dog tag had all of Zack's information on it, the other tag held all of her information. At the bottom of both tags "Never to be apart..." was inscribed. The tag he had put in the box, was the one containing all of his own information, he had kept hers. She clutched the now cold piece of metal in her hand, closing her eyes. She had never wanted so badly to be in his arms...

Laying the tag softly on the vanity in front of her she reached in, pulling out a piece of notebook paper which had been folded in half and an old picture.

She held the picture taking in its contents. It was she and Zack sitting side by side in chairs at one of the old shops they use to get tattooed at. Mackenzie getting her tattoo on her left wrist, Zack getting one on the left side of his rib cage. But instead of looking at the camera, they were looking at each other, smiling.

She would never forget that day as long as she lived.

It was the day after Mackenzie had turned eighteen, it was 1999 and she and Zack had never been so in love. Matching tattoos seemed to be the only way to show that to each other, and to this day, she still didn't regret that tattoo. It had been one of their best kept secrets, she had always told Matt the tattoo represented lyrics, which it did. But it also linked to her to Zack, who had the matching one. Matt would have been furious had he known the truth...

She reached up, wiping a tear as she laid the picture down by the dog tag on the vanity and she reached for the paper.

Laying a hand on her shoulder, Brian watched as Mackenzie fought it all. Every emotion that had lived inside her for so long.

She went to unfold the paper when she heard the door crack open and a sudden loud and urgent knock rang through the room.

"Mackenzie!" Vivian, the wedding planner called, as she strutted into the room. Mackenzie wiped at her eyes as she turned around to face the chocolate skinned woman, whose hair was done up in elegant curls, her red dress clinging to every curve of her body. "Your groom looks fabulous! I just came to say good luck! And were on in five so I'll be sending Brian Sr. back any minute!" Mackenzie wiped at her eyes as she mustered a smile.

"Thanks Viv," Mackenzie mumbled as the door shut just as quickly as it had been opened

Taking a deep breath Mackenzie opened the folded paper and she began to nearly sob as she saw what it said.

It was simple. Just one word.

You

It was simple, written in his handwriting.
Just under the word was the infinity sign.

Taking the paper in her right hand she held up her left wrist staring at it. It was the tattoo, the one they had shared. You forever.

It had always been Zack's way of saying you'll always be the one.

"Kenzie!" Brian hissed with his back against the door, shaking her from her thoughts. "Get moving!" he huffed as his Dad pounded on the door. She could only bring herself to stare at him. "Jesus Mackenzie! The CD!" he hissed. Grabbing for the box she reached through the tissue paper until she felt the CD.

Taking a deep breath she stared for a moment at the round disc. Finally reaching for the tiny little CD player in front of her. Pressing it so the top would open. She sat the disc down on the round tab and closed it, letting the disc spin.

The awkward guitars began to play. Then the female voice played through the room.

I feel so alone, I Can’t seem to find my way out of this lone?
No, it don't seem right
I didn't have a chance to say goodbye.
In this silent space, I close my eyes I can hear you say
That it's alright, but my world's such an empty place tonight.
Cause I know that, it's all part of life.

she covered her mouth as she began to cry harder.

I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, yeah I still miss you.
It's so hard to see through the tears I've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause I don't want to, if I don't have to ever let you go.
The longest I'll hold on. God only knows.
As the time goes by, it gets a little easier to smile.
No I'll never forget everything that you said.
You said it’s alright, it's all part of life.
I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, yeah I still miss you.
It's so hard to see through the tears I've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause I don't want to, if I don't have to ever let you go.
The longest I'll hold on. God only knows.
The lights above you will never fade if you keep looking up
Right around there is a better place if you believe in love.
Cause I know that, it's all part of life.

She reached up, turning the song off before it could finish.

Glancing down she held her hand up. Staring down at the shining ring. But after a moment she shook her head.

And with one last though she reached down, and pulled the ring off her finger. Standing up she approached her brother, who bit at his lip. He didn't even have to ask.

"Brian," she cried. "tell Matt I am so sorry. But I can't marry him." Brian nodded kissing Mackenzie on the forehead as he took the ring from her.

"Go get him." he said nodding towards the door, opening it as she ran past her father.

"Mackenzie!" a male voice called from behind her, she was through the cool night’s air making her way back to the bus. "Mackenzie!" the voice called again. She finally stopped, turning around only to see Jason Berry running towards her. She stopped, pulling her pink velour hoodie tighter too her body.

"What’s up Jase?" she asked shivering. Jason looked at her, smiling.

"Shads is looking for you." he said simply pointing behind him. She reached for the pass hanging from her belt loop, knowing she would need it to get back through the gates. "He’s out with the rigs helping load." he stated simply as she nodded.

"Thanks JB." her UGG's pounded against the hard concrete. Her thoughts were in a million places at the moment, and not one of those places, were Matt. She walked, until she could hear the loud hum of the diesel engines and sitting in front of her were the nine red and white rigs. Every man on the crew was currently working at something whether it was loading, hauling or an inventory check. "Jimmy!" Mackenzie called at the tall slender man who was handing the round cases which held pieces of his kit to the man standing inside the trailer loading and stacking the gear.

He turned around smiling at Mackenzie before he said something to Mitch, than excused his self. "Hey Kenz, looking for Matt?" he asked as she smiled, his arms wrapping around her in a hug.

"Yeah, you know where he is?" she mumbled into Jimmy's chest.

"Rig six," Jimmy mumbled after placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. "helping Brian and Zack out," she smiled and began to walk. Calling out over her shoulder.

"Thanks Jim!" wrapping her arms around her torso she walked until she found her self standing at the bottom of the angled ramp, which pulled out so the guys could roll the massive guitar cases up into the rig. "Matthew!" Mackenzie called, shivering. She heard loud footsteps making their way across the rig, her massive boyfriend standing with his hands on his hips.

"Hey beautiful," the dim lights reflected off Matt's face, making his dimples even more apparent. "come'ere," he said simply walking down the ramp, taking Mackenzie's hand into his own, leading her up so she was standing just inside the rig with him, shielded from the wind. Taking her into his arms her back resting on his chest as he laid his head in the crook of her neck. "you were almost late," he mumbled softly, kissing her cheek.

"Late for what?" she said softly as she laid her hands onto of his.

"you know what time it is?" she shook her head no, reaching into the pocket of her jacket pulling out her phone, letting it light up.

"It's 11:11, why?" pulling her closer he breathed her in.

"Make a wish Kenzie..." she closed her eyes.

She wished to open her eyes, and be in Zack's arms.

"What'd you wish for?" Matt's voice pulled her from her thoughts. She hesitated for a moment before finally turning to look him in the eyes.

"If I tell you it won't come true..." Matt stuck one hand in his pocket digging until she saw him pull out a box.

"Well I'm going to tell you what I wished for," he said, a subtle cracking in his voice. "I wished for you Mackenzie, I always have and I hope you wished for me too..." he said simply, opening the box to reveal to her a beautiful princess cut three carat diamond ring. "marry me Kenzie..."

She glanced up to see Zack, who looked like he had just taken a bullet to the chest.

"Mackenzie!" her father called after her but she just kept walking, her heels clicking against the floor. She walked past Vivian, who looked shocked.

"Mackenzie! You shouldn't be out here yet Matt might see you!" she called, but Mackenzie ignored her. "Where is she going?" she asked, towards what she could only assume to be her father. "Mackenzie!" she called one last time.

"Let her go," Brian spoke for his sister, stepping out of the room, one hand shoved in the pockets of his dress pants. The other twirling the ring around his index finger.

Mackenzie strided through the massive church, searching for the one person she knew would be willing to help her. She stopped, glancing into the entry way, but it hit her, if she wanted to find a Baker, a nervous one at that, there was only one place she could look. Outside, with a cigarette attached to his lips.

Taking a deep breath she walked from the safety of the hall, into plain sight where every passer-by, every guest, could see her in her custom Vera gown. She heard low gasps and not-so-clandestine whispers, but at this point she didn't care. For once Mackenzie was going to follow her own heart, and not everyone else's head. Looking both ways before she busted through the doors of the church, it was a matter of seconds before she spotted the one person she knew she could count on.

"Matt!" she called, earning shocked glances from nearly everyone who was standing around waiting for the ceremony to start. The man upon hearing his name turned, his black hair was tame, most likely upon his mothers request. His green eyes shined, just like his father and brother. His plump pink lips pulled into an amused smile. "Where's Zack?" she asked the youngest Baker boy, who no-doubt would give her shit over this later. But he pulled his free hand from the pocket of his coat and glanced at his watch.

"Took you a little longer than I expected Kenz," rolling her eyes she stepped closer taking the lit cigarette from between his lips she threw it on the ground, extinguishing it, knowing she had earned his full attention.

"Where the fuck is your brother Matt?" Mackenzie snapped impatiently, but reaching into his pocket Matt pulled out a set of his car keys tossing them at her.

"Kenz, Zack wants nothing more in this world than for you to be happy..." he mumbled, grabbing the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, quickly lighting a new one. "even if that means you marrying Shadows,"

"Just tell me where he is!" she screamed, the tears finally falling. Inhaling deep, he let out a cloud of the smoke, thinking for a minute before finally looking her in the eyes.

"he just wants to be close to you Mackenzie," he said vaguely, taking another drag from the cigarette. "think of your favorite place in the world."

"The cove," she breathed to herself as she took off running to Matt's hand-me-down Chevy S-10 that he had inherited from his older brother years before.

The cove wasn't far, but as Mackenzie reached the highway her foot pressed hard into the accelerator, sending the car flaying down the blacktop road, passing every car that came her way the painted yellow lines becoming one blur, until she reached her exit.

She could hardly focus as memories she had been holding back for so long, seemed to flood her mind.

She was torn with every emotion she had refused to feel.

She was angry at Zack. She was happy, Matt loved her and they were going to live the fairytale she deserved. But then there was the other half of her that hated him for waiting so long to admit that he was wrong, to admit that they were always meant to be together...

Before she knew it she was in the small parking lot, she sat there for a moment watching the waves wash up onto the glistening white sand. This is why she had always come here, it was calm, the sounds of the busy city seemed to dissipate. Pulling the keys from the ignition she got out of the truck, her heels clicking against the pavement, but she stopped removing her shoes, carrying them as she stepped into the warm sand, letting her manicured toes sink in deep as she began to walk down the beach.

Her arms crossed over her chest, her shoes beating against each other as she walked. But she stopped when she saw a man in a tux sitting on a large rock, his pants were rolled up around his calves as the waves crashed up the rock, he was holding an acoustic guitar strumming softly, humming along. She stopped, just feet away from him, listening softly as he sang to his self.

"I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, yeah I still miss you. It's so hard to see through the tears I've cried. Yeah, I still need you. Cause I don't want to, if I don't have to ever let you go. The longest I'll hold on. God only knows....God only knows..." he chorused to his self one last time as he released the neck of the guitar reaching up to wipe the tears. She took a soft breath as she wiped her own tears.

"Zack!" she called, startling the man. His head snapped in her direction. Staring in disbelief he sat the guitar down, slowly moving from the rocks, standing so he was facing Mackenzie. She dropped her shoes, letting them sink into the sand as she threw her arms around his neck, his wrapping tightly around her waist.

"you came..." he whispered softly against her cheek.

"Of course I did...of course I did Zack. I love you,"

"you have no idea Kenz. No idea. I am so sorry..." she pulled away, looking into his jade eyes, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity she could see happiness.

"what took you so long?" she asked through her slow sobs, resting her forehead against his. But he looked up, locking eyes with Mackenzie, every thought they had was gone, his pierced lips brushed over her pink ones, and before they knew it they were connected again. He pulled away, taking her body closer as she rested against his chest. The sun had began to set and it was becoming chilly.

"God only knows," he whispered against her soft brown hair. "God only knows..."