Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Wolf?

Snow, oh how I hated it dearly, it was too cold and wet for my liking, yet it made everything a white wonderland. I sighed and kicked some up with my boot, watching it fall around me slowly, I trudged through it as I looked around the bare woods.
It had been 2 weeks since I had my fight with Jacob and had almost done the unspeakable, I was currently living with Sam and Emily, Sam knew about the Alpha thing, but it was hard living with him cause two Alpha's in one pack isn't allowed but I didn't want it, in fact I just wanted to be a regular wolf. One that never turns back human, so I'd never have to deal with this again.
Sam said he was suspecting me becoming Alpha, Honestly I was really enjoying it, being an Alpha with no pack was lonely sure, but peacefully none the less. No other wolf thoughts and even Jake couldn't break Sam's bounds, I hadn't given him permission to join my pack so I didn't have to deal with his dumb ass. When I choose him to be my beta and my mate, then Sam's bound over him would fall and mine would replace it.
Fat chance I'd choose him though. I hurried forwards when I saw Sam's little house come into my view, I was hoping Paul or Jared would come over to wrestle with me today, I kicked a rock that was by my foot, it flew into the white powder a few inches in front of me. God I hate winter.
I heard the sound of a truck roar down the little wooded path, I perked up, hoping someone was here to play, but when I saw the old rusty red painted truck I slouched down, it was only Bella. She was here for the daily werewolf report, before she would run to her vampires and tell them whatever Sam told her. The war was only a few days away, as for me I was required to stay away from there, yeah right if only they knew.
To bad not one person expect me knew I was going to save her.
"Hello Taylor" I looked up from my daze to see Bella standing there, with a huge smile on her face, I nodded and looked the other way, after having that talk with her, my hate towards her had melted, I cared for this human, she really hadn't done me any wrong.
Jake still loved her, you could see it, the way his eyes sparkled towards her, it infuriated me deeply, I would never be Bella and he had to know that. I heard her sigh and sit beside me. No one said a word for a few minutes, we just let the icy wind blow through the trees and sting our cheeks, the snow fell harder to the ground.
"How are you?" glancing at her, I noticed her hair was slightly wet from the snow that melted there, she was rubbing her mittened hands together trying to keep warm, I was wondering why in the world she didn't go inside and warm up.
"I'm fine, go warm up inside" she shook her head, a smile still on her face, I pushed my hands deeper into my sweatshirt, I was warm, but I couldn't get my wolf form to change, it was like I was still human.
"I want to talk to you, how's Jacob?" my head shot up, was she being serious? She saw him more then I did, if I knew he was coming over I left the house, I wasn't't being caught dead with him near me.
'You tell me, you saw him last night" she shook her head a frown finally on her lips, "No he wasn't there last night"
Oh big shocker, he was the dumb ass not taking this seriously, a low growl escaped my lips, "Sam's inside" I jerked my head towards the door, she sighed and stood up. 'Thanks for talking with me" I had to tell her, she was in danger, I had to tell her what I saw, but I couldn't tell anyone.

It was the coldest night of the year, the snow covered every inch of ground, leaving everything sparkly white, I could see puffs of clouds coming from my mouth, as I walked, into the darkness in front of me. I was afraid, anger, helpless. Tomorrow was the day I would die, tomorrow was the day everything I dreamed about, everything the vampires and wolves prepared for, would soon come alive. Was I ready to die? Was I ready to look into the eyes of death?
The answer, no I wasn't ready to die, not yet at least. I had one more thing to do before I gave all I had up, I walked a littler faster when I saw what I was looking for, Bella had been my savior today. She did me a favor no one else would have ever done. I had to do this, as horrible as it was, it was time for him to know. Knocking on the door, I waited for him to open the door.
The knob twisted and the door flew open, a sleepy eyed Jake stood there in nothing but low riding sweats, his toned chest bare, his dark hair disheveled, he looked as if had just woke up, now I felt bad, he had a battle to fight tomorrow I shouldn't be here bothering him.
"Taylor? What are you doing here at like 11:30 at night?" he snapped, I felt the urge to cry as I looked away from him to the wood porch, I did do so much damage last time, maybe I wasn't going to be able to fix it.
"Sorry, I'm leaving I forgot why I was here, sorry" I turned away, and started away from the door, when I felt a warm hand on my arm, lightly pull me back. Glancing back, I saw Jacob looking at me now with sad eyes, as if he knew I was never coming back.
"No stay, I'm sorry, come in" he moved to the side as I walked through the doorway, my eyes glancing around the narrow hallway, I tried to take everything in. Jacob moved in front of me, leading me towards his bedroom, my heart rate quickened.
"Where's Billy?" I asked, trying to hide the smile that wanted to spread over my face, as Jake shrugged, "Over to Charlie's, since the battles tomorrow Charlie and Billy will be together".
"Well that's good, he is out of danger, and so is Charlie" I whispered, as we walked into the tiny room we use to share, the other bed had been taken out so that only Jake's bed was there, it hurt a little to see that. Jake looked over at me and frowned, he rubbed the back of his neck.
"I see you made some room" it wasn't meant to sound bitch just meant to ease the tension, Jacob shrugged, "I uh... I uh...", shaking my head, I held up a hand signaling him not to answer, didn't honestly want to hear that I wasn't missed, or that I took up to much space, I just wanted to make this moment okay.
I went and sat down on the edge of his bed, how was I going to tell him everything I wanted to say without sounding obsessive or crazy? My breath was on the verge of failing, my mind spinning as I tried to remember to hold it all in, this was Jake and he needed to know this.
"Taylor, why are you here? What's wrong?" Jacob came and sat on the other side of the bed, his face full of confusion and concern.
"Jacob, do you remember when we were little and we would play by the shore?" He nodded, giving me a look that was meant to say 'why does it matter', I took a deep breath before trying to spill out my heart.
"Well remember that night, I came running to your house in tears, and you took my hand, leading me to the beach then you just held me as I sobbed and poured everything out to you. I miss that Jake, I miss it a lot, and you grew up to fast for me, you never were the same after that"
Jacob looked at me, as if I had told him his dog died, his face was blank, emotionless.
"You tried to keep me from all that, instead of letting me learn about it and coming to you for comfort. I guess that's the day the imprint started for you, but Jake it was always there, I always felt for you. I loved you Jake. You were my rock"
"The day my parents died, it was you I wanted to comfort me, that's why I went straight to you, Then one day you left me, alone, hurt, confused. At first I thought I did something wrong, then come to find out, you left cause of Bella"
"You didn't feel the bond between us because your lust for Bella was overpowering it, but I felt it, god I felt it. I cried so much, the pain felt like a knife being thrust ed into my chest a thousand times, that's when my anger and hate began"
"One day, I sat at school and my teacher had called on me to answer a question, I answered incorrectly and the girl next to me snickered, I snapped and started to tremble, something so small triggered my phasing"
"Sam came and got me in the nick of time, cause as soon as we pulled away from the school, I started to get sick, I thought I was going to die. Sam ushered me to the woods, where I changed into a wolf."

I paced around, feeling myself about to cry at the memories of my first time phasing, it hurt so bad, I glanced at Jacob, he was shocked and upset, maybe I should stop, but honestly I couldn't, he had to know my feelings.
".I wanted you to help me, I wanted you there while I changed, but you weren't. Then you came back into my life and all that hate I built up for you vanished, Jacob I love you, I always have and always will"
I looked away, as I felt the first tear slide down my face, then another, I was Taylor now, not Alpha, not werewolf, not the man hater, just Taylor. This was a side no one ever saw of me, I wasn't use to showing my emotions in front of anyone.
Automatically, I started for the door, not wanting to cause anymore grief, but before I could open the door he stopped me with just one word, "Why?"