Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Wolf?

There was no way I was going to follow Jake as my commander, I'd rather die a thousand painful deaths.
Sam told me I can still run drill, for now at least.
He had to get Jacob caught up on things before he took over again.
God I wish he'd just run off again, I'd love him alot if he did.
The pain he brought back was excruciating.
Nightmares after nightmares haunted my sleep, bring me no rest.
Dreams that never made any sense to me, filled my head for brief periods of time.
Knowing I was tied to someone Else life made me mad.
Yeah, ever since I was six I saw myself with Jacob, now that it has become reality, I realize.
I don't want it.
I wanted to find love on my own, not some weird wolf like claim make the decision for me.
Didn't I have a say in the matter? Wasn't it my choice too?
Inside I knew the answer, No I had no say.
But I wasn't going to follow the rules, I would make my choice, Fate could suck a straw.
I was running my life, not fate.