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I Used To Be Beautiful

I Used To Be Normal

The thoughts never used to attack me
and I never used to feel like I was letting myself go.
There wasn't anything to every hide,
and nothing that nobody didn't already know.


The blade never used to pierce my flesh,
The small droplets of blood never used to float up towards the skin.
The mind never worked as it now does,
With every flame entering this Hell from within.
I never used to cry.
But I think that that might be the biggest lie.I never used to want to take my own life.
Thankfully now, I think I've thought twice.I never thought happiness was just an illusion.
But once you believe it is, you can rid yourself of the hurt and confusion.

Every night it replays.
And every night the darkness descends.

Every night I squint my eyes shut.
And wish that this was all just pretend.