Field of Corpses

I wasn't going to tell Christian I wouldn't be leaving America. If I did, he'd only want an explanation, and I'd more than likely have to convince him it was the better idea- for me. It might be an argument the whole way to California, or in California trying to find three men. That wouldn't better our search by any means.

I just had to hold it in, and keep it to myself. Where Christian was more human than zombie, he would be able to go to Amsterdam, or any other country with living people. He'd fit in, and I'm assuming that's what he wants. I could bet all the money I could find that he wouldn't want to stay in a place like this; a place where everyone is dead, even the one he loves, when he could be somewhere with people. Knowing that, that would cause the argument; he'd be fighting for me to go with him, and I'd be trying to convince him I was staying.

Even if they were alive and were wanting to escape the zombified country, I would stay. Even if I didn't want to stay, I couldn't go. Either way, I was staying. That was all I needed to know for myself, and not share with Christian.

Christian was better off without me anyways. Yes, I loved him, but there was no point. He deserved a nice living girl somewhere that wasn't over run by zombies. Staying with me would surely kill him, or kill him off faster. I would miss him, but seeing him dead would make me fall apart, so I wanted him to go off to Amsterdam... However he was supposed to get there.

The drive was still silent. Christian stared off out the window, making the situation look rather depressing. Billie was still in the backseat. I wouldn't have even remembered he was there until I heard him whimper.

"Shut up, Billie." Christian groaned.

"He's hungry, and needs to go to the bathroom."

Christian shot a look at me. "How the hell do you know that?"

How did I know that? I couldn't speak dog, but the instant he whimpered, the words 'Food' and 'I'm about to piss all over your backseat' were clear as the lyrics in Brain Stew.

"Wild guess."

He continued to show me his weird look, then turned to face the front again. "Okay..."

Slowly, I stopped the car, and got out of my car. The instant I did, Billie was out, running towards the nearest bush. Christian was out of the car staring at Billie running.

"Pretty good for a wild guess." He scoffed.

We both waited for Billie to come back. We both kind of hoped he would find food so we could get some too.

After a few minutes, Christian called for his dog, and within seconds, he came running back towards us.

"What's in his mouth?" I gaped.

"I-..."

Once he got close enough, I saw a kitten dangling in his mouth. You'd think I wouldn't care, but cats were always the one animal I had a rule about eating. Seeing Christian's dog with his mouth around its neck instantly had me yelling at Billie.

"Put it down!"

Billie seemed to glare at me, but I just glared back and took a step forward. He seemed to have read my mind that instant, and put the cat down.

I quickly got down on my knees to attend to this poor kitten. I was most likely too late, but I still couldn't have stood watching or knowing that Christian's stupid dog was eating the thing. I could have at least buried it away from any other animal or zombie.

Christian stood behind me, watching over my shoulder as I examined the kitten's neck. Billie had sunk his teeth in pretty deep, so there was blood around the fur.

"You fuck." I thought to myself, glaring that the dog. He looked at me as soon as I thought it, and hurried back to get in the car. "Yea, you better cower away."

Suddenly, I felt the cat move in my hands, and I looked down to see it staring up at me.

"It's alive!" I said enthusiastically.

"Great." Christian said with sarcasm. "I'd like to go now."

I rolled my eyes and stood up with the kitten. "You're driving. The cat's coming with us."

"Whatever." Christian said, getting into the front seat.

I carefully pet the kitten as I walked back to the other side of the car. Looking down at it, I had the weirdest feeling that the cat was meant to be mine.

In the car, while Christian was driving, I kept looking at the cat's neck. The gashes were so big, and I couldn't understand how this cat was living. In a few places, it seemed bones were poking out of its neck, but it was now up and moving around on my lap, glancing out the window.

"Amazing." I said to myself aloud.

"What?"

"The cat. I swear it should be dead, but look at 'im."

"So?"

"The fucking thing could survive Armageddon!"

Christian looked over at the cat. "It is pretty cute, despite the nasty cuts on his neck."

"Thanks to your dog." I mumbled.

After minutes of thinking, a name finally popped into my rotting brain. "Geddon."

"Huh?"

"His name is Geddon." I said smiling at him. He was now laying down on my lap.

"He stinks."

"So does your dog."

That moment, I nonchalantly smelled the air above Geddon, and like Billie, or me, he smelled like he was under a pile of carcases for days, carrying the smell of really bad rotting flesh.

I stared down at his neck, at the wounds, where the fur wasn't covering any flesh, and it had a green tint to it. I looked back at Billie, then put my hand back like I was going to pet him. He reached his head forward to receive my 'pat' on the head, and before he could move away, I tore a bit of fur from the side of his neck.

He yelped, causing Christian to look over at me with a chunk of white fur in my hand.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Your dog's dead." I said matter-of-factly.

He only gave me a weird look, then looked back at his dog. He had to have seen the patch of exposed skin on his dog, the greenish looking skin.

Now the car was full of half-dead and dying zombies.

I knew Christian believed me once he turned back to driving. "Great- it just keeps smelling better and better..." He groaned.

"It does!" I said pulling a joint out of my backpack. It made Christian smile, knowing the rotting flesh smell would soon fade.

Being stoned on the rest of the way to California made it more relaxing. I wasn't so tempted to tell Christian my plans to stay here in America, because I usually got quiet when I got high. As for Christian, he was non stop talking, telling me so many things I rudely didn't care about. He kept going on about everything he wanted once he got out of America, and kept telling me about how amazing it was going to be once we left together. I didn't care, because I wasn't going. I didn't see a point in crushing his good moment though.

"...We'll have a house together, and we can even keep Billie and Geddon there." He finished then sighed. "It's going to be amazing."

"For you." I thought.

Before I had to listen to him ramble much longer, I saw the broken down sign, letting us know we were in California. I was relieved for several reasons, yet I also felt a bit nervous and unsure. Where would we even start looking for them?

"California..." He sighed. I haven't been here for a while.

"You've been here?"

"Used to live here."

I didn't know why I cared to ask, because I shouldn't get to know someone I wouldn't be spending the rest of my half-life with. ...As much as I wanted to...

"I say we get out of the car." I suggested to Christian, changing the subject. "We can look around better that way."

Christian nodded, then stopped the car. "We can even take different streets to look up and down... Like we could separate."

"Perfect." I thought. "Yea, that might help," I said aloud.

I held my new kitten as I got out, and started to walk around. This was going to take a very long time.

Hours had gone by, and of course we hadn't found a thing. We weren't even sure how to go about doing it. Were we supposed to call their named as loud as we could, or knock on every single door and ask if they were home? That would have been ridiculous. Instead, we just walked around, passing a few zombies here and there, checking to see if any of them were who we were looking for.

I took the liberty of checking up side streets in neighborhoods, hoping I would see a big house I had seen several times on youtube before. I never did though, and it definitely didn't help that I hadn't even remembered which city it was in.

As of then, we were searching through out Berkeley... The place we figured they would be.

Every once in a while, I could see Christian roaming around another street, Billie by his side. He looked bored of looking, and I could tell he was wanting to stop. I didn't though; I had nothing better to do. Walking around a state that turned to shit was fine by me, as long as I didn't have to be roaming around a state that was already a piece of shit before the country died. I definitely didn't miss Utah.

Seriously though, hours of endless walking, turning my head slowly side-to-side looking for a living group of men was making me feel more like a pure-bread zombie every minute I was forced to drag my feet along. I let out a huge sigh when we passed another neighborhood. Geddon was still in my arms, not showing any problem just being carried around.

Sadly, I felt like I really needed it. When I was living, if you could call it that, I always loved cats. I felt like they were my best friends when I had no one. Sure I couldn't speak to them, but cats always seemed to like me, so I guess in a way it made me feel better... I felt more than that with Geddon though.

He didn't smell good, but I was too used to the smell of rotted stink. It was in my skin, and it was the smell I carried around with me everywhere I went and go. Geddon's smell was different though; it was like a wet cat smell entwined with the dead skin smell. It reminded me of the gauges in my ears.

I laughed a little out loud, thinking of how I used to complain about how stinky my ears were because of the screws I had in them, used as gauges. Now, that smell filled the country, except like everyone in the country wore gauges, entirely too big, and then just didn't take care of them. That smell wafted in the air every day, here.

Sickening how it didn't bother me.

The one thing that did though was the smell of human flesh. I could feel my mouth get watery at the thought of sinking my teeth into someone's arm and tearing it off so I could eat chunks of meat each bite. This was bad for me though, because I didn't want to get those tendencies. The whole being a zombie thing was cool at one point in all, and could still be, a little, but I didn't like to think of myself sinking down to that level- eating disgusting Americans.

It wasn't Christian's smell though. I got used to that one, too. It wasn't a gross smell, but it definitely was losing it's human scent. It was a bland smell, so he wasn't exactly all too dead yet. What I smelled was food on two legs, but I knew what I wished could be in my stomach could be someone important. I had to ignore the hunger in my stomach longer.

I shook the thought from my head, and quickly set my thoughts on Christian. I hadn't seen him for a while, and I didn't hear anything from him. He could have been just taking the time to enjoy California's dying scenery, but I got concerned.

He smelt bland, but bland was better than dead. To a zombie, he would do. Sure, he wouldn't taste too great either, but when you're starving enough, and it's food, you'll eat it. Around California, where so many people were, zombies are more in numbers now, and that also means they ran out of food a food source. Christian would be tolerable for a stared zombie.

I picked up my pace and started to walk up, toward the road Christian was supposed to be walking along. I had a while to reach it, so I greatly anticipated what I'd see once I reached the street. I was prepared to see him walking down the street, with slower zombies after him so he wouldn't have noticed. That's when I'd come in and save his ass.

What I saw was completely different though. I glared down the street, way down at the corner of the block. I wasn't too happy about what I saw, even though I never was happy, this time I was just plain out livid.

For some reason, every vein in my body got intensively hot. Zombies can't feel pain, but I could feel heat and cold for some reason. At that point, I felt like I was boiling in a small pot of water. It took me a while to realize I was shaking, uncontrollably.

Carefully, I set Geddon down next to me and ignored his big eyes staring at me as I walked toward where I had been staring. In my head, to Geddon, I said: Don't you go anywhere.

I started to walk at a regular speed toward the corner of the block across the street. As I reached the center of the road, I sped up, getting angrier as I approached. I didn't stop myself to calm down and think about anything, I was just following a path of destruction.

When I was alive, no one liked getting me pissed off. Sadly, my mom used to tell me that she was scared of me. I didn't get it, but being a zombie, it effected me greatly. Now, I have the confidence that I really am, and with all the power I have now, I knew nothing could stop me. Especially when my anger leaked out.

The closer I got, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the pain I was about to inflict, but you will suffer when my hate breaks loose. Right now, it was coming out quicker than I ever thought.

With my really good eye sight, my target was already locked. I'm surprised no one saw me coming when I started running full speed at them like I did.

Before anyone knew it, I had ahold of a fat blonde's arm and she was yanked across the road in seconds. Before I turned back to her, I glanced down the road at the intersection I could tell she came from, seeing a helicopter. I knew I heard one, but I told myself that was just crazy...

Seeing it, I turned back to Christian. His mouth was agape and it looked like someone had just come out of nowhere, slapped his face, and ran, except it was directed at me. "What the fuck?!" Christian obviously wasn't as threatened by me as he should have been.

I quickly turned my body completely to him. "Don't think I don't know who that is."

He seemed to be getting pissed off. "You don't even get what's going on, Gloria."

I raised one eye brow. "Really? Why is some cunt here somehow, exactly where you happen to be?"

"She found me!" He defended.

"So she just so happens to know exactly where you are in a country full of people that can't even communicate..."

He wasn't going to argue back though. He just stood there, looking over toward the girl I had just thrown. She was slowly trying to sit up now.

"I guess she got her family to have a search for me around the coast... She knows I lived in Oregon."

I didn't even care if he was lying or not, I just didn't like the fact that she was here, talking to something of mine. To me, he was territory; zombies were like that, I couldn't help it. It's what triggered the fire within me.

From the very first story Christian told me about his ex, I wanted to see her carcass floating down a river. After a while of getting to know him, and having so much time to kill on the 'open road', I heard enough about Bobbi to know she needed to be nothing but blood left on the concrete.

Before I could even think of continuing a 'nice' conversation with Christian, I couldn't ignore the adrenaline still pumping through me, and I couldn't control the anger taking over my body.

As quickly as I ran toward them in the beginning, I was running across the street over to where I tossed her body. I could hear Christian yelling "Stop!" in the background behind me, but it was out of my head as soon as it was out of his mouth.

When it looked like I was a car length away from the fat girl across from me, trying to wriggle herself out of my path, I leaped, heading right for here. I landed on top of her, hands already on her throat and shoulder holding her down to the ground.

The fear on her face could have been sickening to the innocent mind, but it made me smile inside. Tears running down her face let me know it was definitely me, and I'm sure my face wasn't helping. I looked like a complete psycho zombie. That's what I was at that moment, and I was so glad.

Being a zombie, I had the strength to do everything to her I couldn't otherwise.

"Would it be fair of me to let you go?" I asked her, sounding very forceful.

She was shaking beneath me, stuttering, "I-I-yes. J-Just p-ple-ease let me g-go. P-please."

I laughed, obviously trying making myself sound more like a maniac. I startled her, because she knows I'm a zombie, yet she knows we can't talk. I had this worthless blob of scared flesh right where I needed it. "You wanna know what I think is fair?" I asked, sounding like I was calm now.

Her eyes got wide, and waited for my response. "For what you did to Christian," I started, and her eyes quickly shut and the muffled, hysterical crying started up, "this is the only thing I could assume would be fair..."

She started crying uncontrollably now, still beggin me to 'please stop.'

Before I could even start to avenge my forbidden lover, I felt arms around me from behind, trying to bring me down. I rolled my eyes as I was falling to the ground. I knew it was Christian, thinking he was saving that bitch's life, but I only laughed once I felt him trying to pin me down. Nothing was taming me now.

I let him think he had me down, pinning my arms down to thew ground and sitting on my waist. I stopped laughing, and fixated my now open eyes on him. My smile faded as I noticed Christian's pissed off look. His look didn't go away, even as mine grew to be angry and scary looking like it once was- the "zombie's game face". He just tried to focus on holding me down, but his plan was pointless.

"Silly Christian." I said, trying to hide my laughter again. His face slightly turned confused, and that's when I took my chance. "Sorry about this." I said quickly whipping my right arms from underneath his force.

It threw him back a little, because he wasn't expecting it, but it wasn't enough for me to get away and finish her off. Reluctantly, I reminded myself he couldn't die from being beaten, so I reached my arm to his throat and within seconds he was in the air, I was standing, and then he was going back down to the ground, only on his back the next time.

I didn't want to stand around and see Christian in pain, so I turned back to the delicious, large looking pile of tasty human flesh. The fat was jiggling as she thought she could get up and run, but I smirked as I bolted toward her slow running body, and before she knew, she was back on the ground.

I took her legs out with one grab onto the back of her knee, and in the short time I had when she was stalled, I tightened my grip as hard as I possibly could and laughed as I felt the bones collapsing and crunching in her leg. She was down within seconds, screaming in agony.

"As fast as I wanna kill you," I said circling her, "that would only be a favor to you."

She cried again, and that's when I attacked. With my right foot, I kicked it hard against her head, making her land on her back and her head to smack against the pavement. She cried in pain once it hit, and then started screaming in fear again as she saw me leaning over her. "J-just let me g-gooo!" She whined and begged. "I'll never talk to him a-ag-aiin."

"Sorry," I said looking down at her, "I have pets to feed, and I've been pretty hungry lately, and I just can't forget what you did to that poor man."

Again, her eyes shut tightly and the tears were pouring out. "P-plleeeease! Please!" She yelled, but I only ignored it, ready to hear the next set of screams.

I had ahold of the leg I had just ruined, by crunching up Bobbi's knee, and grabbed ahold of the ankle and calf with both hands. Quickly, I twisted her leg, continuously in one direction, almost not hearing the screaming due to my intense adrenaline high. Like a little kid would twist Playdough, separating the two pieces, her leg was removed from her thigh, right at the knee where I shattered the bones.

Screaming was ringing through my ears, but I could barely hear it. Time seemed to have stopped during the rush, and I just kept going. Before long, she had no legs and no arms; they were in a pile, waiting to be eaten by me and the two zombie pets. All that was left was a fat mess of stomach, and an ugly face and head.

"You didn't deserve him." I said, almost to myself as I stood over her again. Her crying and begging started again. "So, for breaking his heart, and killing the one thing I love, this is what's fair to me."

She cried and I pulled my fist back, punching her so hard in the chest that the ribs cracked instantaneously, and my whole fist was in her chest. I grabbed her heart, yanking it out quickly, before she died so she could see.

"This, this is fair." I spat at her before I held it to my face and sunk my teeth right into it. Blood went all over, but all I could do was concentrate on the taste. For so long I fought off the need to eat flesh or anything human, but nothing tasted better than her. I was starved, and it hit the spot.

I devoured her heart, and when I looked back down to see what was left of the lifeless waste, I sighed. Her eyes were open, looking up at me. It disgusted me, so I smashed her face with one stomp of a Doc Marten boot, then turned to pick up our food supply.

I had it all in my arms, and started to walk toward Billie. I handed him the first part of her leg I tore off, and he gladly started to chew on the still lively flesh. I then looked back up the street to find Geddon. I didn't see him, but I didn't have to get startled.

I turned around to see my cat sitting on the sidelines of where the killing just took place, and I could see her eying the food. I threw an arm to her, then noticed Christian from the corner of my eye. He was sitting up, staring off into nothingness. He looked lost.

"You wanted to fucking go with her." I said, making me sound like a jealous girlfriend.

"So?!" He suddenly yelled at me. "You can't blame me for wanting to get the hell out of this shit hole!"

I didn't say anything to him. I let him go on, impatiently waiting for him to get shit off if his chest.

"I fucking hate it! I shouldn't be stuck with all you fucking zombies-"

I interrupted. "Hey, you're fucking one of us! Just because your skin's still pretty and you can eat human food doesn't make you better than me or any other zombie."

"Well at least I can live life like I'm a human!"

I glared my eyes at him, trying to hard not to scream out of frustration. "Good fucking thing I'm not going with you then!" I blurted out angrily.

I glanced around the place and noticed our pets sitting side by side, both eating their meat. I went back to Christian and he was in a fit of anger and hurt.

"You're not coming with me all of a sudden?"

"No." I said bluntly. "I wasn't going to. Like you fucking said, 'you can live life like you're a human'. Go fucking do that without me." I said, starting to walk away.

"So you take away my only way of escaping, then you leave me to fend for myself? I thought you said you fucking loved me!"

I stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes, sighed, then opened them again. "
Exactly," I said turning to him, "that's why I killed her, and that's why I'm not going with you. She left her fucking helicopter over there; you play enough video games, so I'm sure you can fucking fly it out of here."

He glared at me. He knew I didn't care about all the things he said he was going to get when we got a house together, like how many video games. That was one of the only things he mentioned, or probably felt comfortable enough to talk about. I really pissed him off.

"No. I'm gunna fucking find Billie and the guys, without you."

"Fine." I said, turning away again. "Good luck living," I said sarcastically, picking up my cat and the meat left. I gave Billie one last pat on the head, then continued my departure from Christian.

I was going to find them first.

It seemed like hours had gone by and I could feel the sun beating down on me, and I could smell its effect from shining down on all the zombies roaming around. It was a nasty smell like toasted rotten skin, but I walked through it. Geddon had his face buried in the same arm I had given him earlier, slowly working his way through it. He had to clean himself from all the blood every few minutes it seemed.

I had all this time to think about what had just happened, but I forced myself to ignore it. I couldn't care anymore, because I didn't Christian around if we were only going to disagree on everything I wanted to do. I was going to find my three men without his help. I still had no idea what was going to happen if I even did find them...

I didn't really want to think about that though. I knew I would eventually help them leave somehow, but I have always wanted to meet them. I didn't want to let go of them after I finally find them too. Just like Christian, he was something I had my hopes up for, and I had to let go. I didn't want that with them.

It would have to happen though. I needed to stay here, where I could be alone like I was obviously intended. Geddon would be with me, sure, but when I die, he wouldn't stick around. I wouldn't pet or feed him then; I'd be completely fending for myself at that point.

At least nothing would want to eat him, and he could survive on his own now that he was a kitten. Even if he was going to stay in the kitten form forever, his brain would mature with experience, he'd smarten up like all animals do after a while. He'd be fine.

For now though, I loved having him. While he and a few limbs were in my arm, I slowly scratched his head with my fingers, which were now uncovered at the top, showing exposed boney finger tips. It didn't bother me, or concern me. I just sighed and kept walking.

Glancing back and forth, I watched each zombie we passed as we passed. They all had a hurt look in their eyes, but I could see the hunger desperation too. They were all searching for some meat, and a lot of them were headed back the direction I just came from. I knew why they were going back there, but I didn't want to think of the sickening part of her body left.

Instead I focused on the zombies, the road ahead of me, and the cute dead animal I was stroking. The world was so fucked up now, but it all seemed to make sense to me now that I was dead. Being dead, somewhere where it was more acceptable to be dead, I felt like I finally fit in.

At least I thought.

I forgot about the slight few portion of people left on this country. All the poor bastards who couldn't make it out because they couldn't pay, or all the people I mentioned earlier, who like to think could survive the end of the world itself.

I also forgot how those people really dislike zombies, more so now than they did during the start of this pandemic. Feeling so tough and strong, knowing I'm the strongest half living thing on the earth got to me. I didn't think anything could get to me, and I thought not even a bullet could stop me.

I knew how wrong I was once I felt Geddon fall out of my arms, landing on his paws. I watched the area around me as I fell, staring at it from a side view, seeing it whipping past my vision at a fast speed. Before long, my eyes shut when my head hit the road. It didn't hurt, but it had the same effect it would have if I were alive.

Of course I looked like a maniac zombie to a survivor. I was walking around, looking rather gruesome, carrying a pile of limbs. I sighed as I felt every last bit of me drain. I didn't bother opening me eyes, because a full death was feeling a bit nice, I just couldn't help but feel a little bit sad about Christian.

He was out there alone now. The only half dead zombie now. In ways I had faith that he'd make it out like he wanted to, but knowing him and how he can't take on one zombie at the current state he was in, I feared for his last threads of life too.

As the inner vision I had in my head, the last glimpse of his beautiful face, everything started getting darker there too. Slowly, the last bit of my life was slipping out of me.