Status: Will be finished soon. Very soon.
Yours Truly
7
You barely whisper your words.
I barely register them, the shock is so over-whelming.
Yet they cut my heart like knives. I don’t know what to do.
I tell you it’s going to be okay. You want to believe me but you can’t because we both know that my response was mechanical. But I don’t tell you this, neither do you say it. I didn’t mean what I said. Not because I am a bad person. No. But because we both know that it isn’t going to be okay. We both know that things will never be the same. We both know that we are helpless, that I am helpless. That nothing can be done.
And that is unnerving.
All feeling has left my body. My body is now numb. I can’t do anything, I can’t save you. I find it hard to take. I find it hard to tell you but you need to know. I tell you to get as far away as you can, not to resist, that only angers him. I tell you that I will be there. I’ll be there for you. You gasp in pain and the phone falls from your grip. My stomach twists into knots. The lady at the counter is asking me to hand in money. I look at her with an expression in my eyes that even I don’t know I’m wearing. Something alerts her and she asks if I am okay, No I tell her, I’m not okay, and I’m not ever going to be. I talk to myself more than anything.
Then something changes. My world, which had come to a stand-still at your words, suddenly jerks forward and shifts gears. I don’t remember but I think I drop the box; all I do remember is that I had bolted through the door. I had run that 10-minute distance as fast as I could. The world is just a blur; all I could focus on is you. I run like a mad-man, falling several times, getting scratched numerous times. But I couldn’t care less. All that strength left my body when I reached the door of my house. It was slightly ajar.
I tip-toe into my house and see a line of disaster etched across the living room.
I barely register them, the shock is so over-whelming.
Yet they cut my heart like knives. I don’t know what to do.
I tell you it’s going to be okay. You want to believe me but you can’t because we both know that my response was mechanical. But I don’t tell you this, neither do you say it. I didn’t mean what I said. Not because I am a bad person. No. But because we both know that it isn’t going to be okay. We both know that things will never be the same. We both know that we are helpless, that I am helpless. That nothing can be done.
And that is unnerving.
All feeling has left my body. My body is now numb. I can’t do anything, I can’t save you. I find it hard to take. I find it hard to tell you but you need to know. I tell you to get as far away as you can, not to resist, that only angers him. I tell you that I will be there. I’ll be there for you. You gasp in pain and the phone falls from your grip. My stomach twists into knots. The lady at the counter is asking me to hand in money. I look at her with an expression in my eyes that even I don’t know I’m wearing. Something alerts her and she asks if I am okay, No I tell her, I’m not okay, and I’m not ever going to be. I talk to myself more than anything.
Then something changes. My world, which had come to a stand-still at your words, suddenly jerks forward and shifts gears. I don’t remember but I think I drop the box; all I do remember is that I had bolted through the door. I had run that 10-minute distance as fast as I could. The world is just a blur; all I could focus on is you. I run like a mad-man, falling several times, getting scratched numerous times. But I couldn’t care less. All that strength left my body when I reached the door of my house. It was slightly ajar.
I tip-toe into my house and see a line of disaster etched across the living room.