Childhood's End.

“Rodney, as your friend, I must ask you, what is the matter? You left Friday with that Lorne man and you want to leave early this morning to go back to the city, why?”

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and kept my eyes straight ahead. I could tell from my peripheral vision that Radek wanted to say more, but we both know he’d be met by a rather thick wall of silence I was so apt at putting up. He sighed and turned his attention back to the papers in his hands.

I glanced at the small clock in the dashboard, it was now eleven, the gathering would be happening now. Everyone would be wearing their over joyous smiles and rounds and rounds of hugs and kisses would be passed around to all in attendance; he wonders why I wanted to leave?

I shouldn’t take my anger out on Radek, of all of my friends he’s the one that’s stuck by my side. Carson would’ve if he could’ve, but med school was his dream and when his Mum surprised him with tuition, I couldn’t let him hold his life back ‘cause of me. He phoned and sent messages and I would reply when I had the chance; we’ve known each other far too long to just toss away our friendship.

I let my thoughts drift back to Friday; I heard voices but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. After a few moments of silence I heard two sets of footsteps, one head down and the other heading up. I sat there, just sat there. I knew if it were Evan on the other side of the door I’d be a mixture of disappointment, embarrassment and anxiety, and if it were John, I’d feel the same with just a little bit of relief thrown in.

I couldn’t look at the door, I’d see the outline of who stood there and I’d know which one came up and which one left. I huffed and fell back on the bed, ignoring the stinging sensation at the corners of my eyes—why now? What did I do? I should’ve told Carson I couldn’t make it home. The door opened and I didn’t look up, I couldn’t bring myself to do it—I closed my eyes.

I listened as the door creaked open and shut with a soft click, soft footsteps cross the room to me and I felt the bed dip from the weight of the body that was sitting on its edge.

“They won’t last Rodney; anyone with a brain recognizes that, perhaps even she does too.”

His voice was quiet, but strong enough to let me know my silent treatment wasn’t going to work—it hardly ever did. Radek read me like the complex equation I am, and he was mostly always right.

“Rodney, how do you think he knew to go into the house? He cornered me, asked if I came with you…I don’t lie.”

My grip loosened and my shoulders slumped—I couldn’t fight it.

“He’ll make it last…I, I…Radek, I broke him…again.”