Childhood's End.

“Help!”

I glanced at Carson who shrugged his shoulders and we both turned to look at a frantic Radek. His hair was even crazier and he was pacing, it was making me a little dizzy.

“Radek, what do we need to be helpin’ you with?”

“Elizabeth! She told me before left school that she is going too. Laura is dragging her. I do not know why she felt need to tell me she was going too, but she did and now, now I am frantic. I understand what girl feels like before a date.”

I couldn’t help it, I started laughing. Seriously, Elizabeth would wear the pants in that relationship, when it does happen. They’re in the courting stage right now—or so Radek’s parents tell them they are. Carson rushed forward and put a calming hand on Radek’s shoulder.

“You’re going with me an’ Rodney, not Elizabeth. If we just so happen to run into her, then you say hullo and ask her to ride on the ferris-wheel with you. No need to fuss, she already likes you.”

Radek glared at him.

“Easy for you to say, Laura was smitten moment she saw you! Elizabeth is different; she is not like other girls.”

“Oh for the love whatever deity you believe in, can we just go to the carnival? I’m already beyond anxious and am running on nothing but pure adrenalin from fear that my life may very well end tonight and you two are having a minor freak out about two girls who are already worshiping the ground you walk on.”

Both turned to glare at me. Radek nodded and Carson’s lip trembled a little. Oh great, I’ve upset him. I turned and stomped over to the car.

“Well, are we going or not, because there are so many other important things I could be doing tonight.”

They both made their way to the car and climbed in. Carson fiddled with the radio and put on some oldies station.

“You missed meetin’ Teyla’s brother at lunch. He came in just after you had left. Nice fellow.”

I felt my cheeks flush. Oh I had met him; I thought he was gorgeous for all of the ten seconds it took for me to realize that he was Teyla’s brother. My luck sucked worse than a black-hole.

“Why is cheeks red, Rodney?”

I slumped further down in my seat, ignoring the blatantly obvious curiosity and amusement in Radek’s tone and Carson’s questioning side-ways glance.

“Oh! You were boy saved, yes?”

I bit my lip at Carson’s burst of laughter. I could seriously welcome some complex form of advanced life to suck me out of the car—like now. Radek started laughing and pretty soon both were laughing. I could only imagine how an unintelligent grunt portrayed his act of heroism. I folded my arms like a petulant child.

“Oh laugh it up, I’m sure John appeared the perfect savior of the inferior, helpless geek.”

“It was not like that Rodney; he was actually slightly bothered that he had angered you. You’re Teyla’s favorite; he was only tryin’ to help.”

I huffed and sat back up in my seat and glared out the window. I could see the glow of lights not too far down the road ahead of us.

“We can not talk about this, like now. He’s military, career by my guess and we all know I’m always right—don’t even say it Radek—it’s ingrained in him to be the hero.”

I could tell they wanted to say something else; I wouldn’t let them.

“For my sixth grade science fair project I made a model of an atomic bomb.”

I could hear the awkward silence fill the car for all of three seconds.

“Wow, Rodney, how come you never told us that before?”

“Erm…I didn’t think it was that important of a thing to mention.”

I heard Radek splutter in the back seat.

“A bomb Rodney, you made bomb and you think we don’t want to know!? That is why CIA watches you time to time, yes?”

I really need to stop opening my mouth. I felt Carson’s hand pat my arm.

“It’s okay Rodney; you’re allowed to have your secrets. Now, let’s enjoy ourselves tonight.”

I could only watch as the blinking lights, swirls of light smoke came closer. Did they know how much power it took for them to cause all of those blinking lights, let alone run the stands and rides? Did they know the engineering that went into every ride, every tent, every stand—who was I kidding, carnies were mostly ex-convicts or people who didn’t even complete middle school. My life was in the hands of incompetent morons.

As soon as we parked and climbed out, the smell of kettle corn, sugar and fried, greasy food permeated the air and hit me like a brick wall. It smelled like heaven to me and I couldn’t have any of it. Strike one.

“We’re to be meetin’ the lot of them near the spinner ride, the one that makes Ronon sick.”

We learned that the hard way last year. This was Teyla and John’s first visit to the carnival; she moved in in the middle of winter break. We were herded through the entrance corals like a herd of sheep—to which Carson told me I was not allowed to make a joke about, but it’s not my fault his family came from a history of sheep herders—and then we headed off into the crowd of yelling, laughing, whispering, talking, germ infested people (strike two) towards our group of misfit teenagers.

We saw Ronon before anyone else; he did tower over most people. He grinned and waved quite obnoxiously at us. Radek yelled out an equally obnoxious greeting as we approached them. I inwardly groaned; Laura and Elizabeth were already with our group.

“Hi Carson!”

I rolled my eyes and then watched as Radek slinked over to Elizabeth’s side. I glanced over at Teyla who merely smiled at me.

“I did not agree to this.”

She turned her smile into a smirk and stepped closer to me. She leaned her forehead against my own—a greeting she said she did with her maternal grandmother.

“Rodney, please, he is my brother and I would trust him with no one other than you.”

I knew what that meant; I bit my lip and nodded against her head. She stepped back and beamed at me. It was agree or kick my ass and she did that enough Saturday mornings when we’d all head over to Ronon’s and practice some moves with giant sticks. She turned to the boy next to her and waved her arm in my direction.

“John, this is Rodney, Rodney, this is John.”

He was leaning in a lazy slouch against the pole we were surrounding and he merely smirked at me. He was in civilian clothes and those stupidly obnoxious aviators still atop his head. However, this time, this time I could see the hazel eyes they hid earlier. His mouth quirked into a small smirk and he stood up straight and offered me his hand to shake.

“We already met.”

I shook his hand and then I heard Radek chuckle and I glanced over at Teyla. She looked between the two of us and I knew she was piecing things together.

“You were the one that John tried to assist earlier?”

I felt my cheeks flush. Didn’t I mention my luck sucks worse than a black-hole? John simply smiled a lazy grin and nodded as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck.

“Let’s go ride the ferris-wheel, there’s no line!”

I sent a grateful smile to Laura—annoying as she is, she and I had to work on a project in English, it was like we were in each other’s minds for a month and a half and so she knew me inside out it seemed—and she just grinned in return. She latched herself to Carson’s arm, Radek offered Elizabeth his and to my slight shock, Teyla held her hand out for Ronon to take. I definitely didn’t sign up for this. I grumbled to myself and fell in step behind the parade of couples in front of me. I felt a nudge to my shoulder and glanced to my left and realized that John was walking next to me.

“I’m going to assume you’re not stupid; I think you can figure out what they’re doing.”

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. A quick glance ahead of me caught Teyla quickly turning back around. I narrowed my eyes at her back. Strike three.

“You know, I want to apologize for stepping on your ego earlier. I really was only trying to help, from where I stood and heard, you were on your way to the inside of a locker and I remember that they’re not exactly the coziest of places.”

“Typical, they’d put me with someone who deflects the conversation to even another topic neither of us are willing to talk about.”

I shoved my hands in my pockets and stomped a few paces ahead of him. He fell in step with ease—of course, with a body like that, he could out run Ronon (well maybe)—and nudged me again. I glanced over at him and he gave me a small smile.

“I’m willing to talk about it; I just didn’t think you’d want to. How do you know I didn’t ask Teyla to let me end up with you?”

“Because someone like you would never want to be seen in the remote general direction of someone like me with even the slightest inclination that we’re together.”

I did not just say that—I did not just say that! He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders again.

“True but not in the way you’re thinking. I like smarts and Teyla’s told me you’ve got plenty. You remember what I was wearing earlier, fatigues, meaning I’m in some for—“

“I’m aware that your country’s got some bigoted notion that people who prefer their own gender in relationships shouldn’t be permitted to help protect said bigoted country, but I fail to see what that has to do with me. I’m sure wherever you go you’ll end up with plenty of notches on your belt all from pretty girls who throw themselves at your feet, very much like every gaggling girl within twenty feet of us who are batting their eyelashes at you but you don’t notice a thing do you?”

He glanced around and reached up to scratch the back of his neck. I glanced over him thoroughly and noticed his ears were pink. He glanced back at me and bit his lip.

“You can’t exactly ask me something like that ‘cause I can’t exactly tell you that answer. So whatever girls you think I’m interested in, I am most certainly not inclined to say.”

“Oh.”

He smirked down at me and nudged me with his shoulder. I felt my entire body flush.

“John, Rodney, are you not going to ride?”

I glanced back in front of me and stopped short, nearly running into Teyla. She had a smile on her face—I knew that smile, she was mocking us. I glanced over her shoulder and noticed Carson and Laura were climbing into a seat. It rocked as they sat back and the carnie latched their lap bar shut. Carson gave me a small wave and Laura blew me an obnoxious kiss as they noticed me. I watched in a slight odd fascination as Radek and Elizabeth loaded themselves and then as Ronon (who the carnie tried to tell wouldn’t fit in the seat with Teyla, then glared at said carnie and he crammed himself in and pulled Teyla close) and Teyla. Then it was our turn. The carnie gave us an odd look.

“Say one word and yo—“

“Thanks Chuck. Stop us at the top would ya?”

John put his hand on the small of my back and gently pushed me into the seat and waited while the carnie latched us in. With a sudden lurch we were moving. We stopped a few seconds later and I heard the call for the last load.

“You don’t like heights much do you?”

I didn’t even glance his way; I simply stared out in front of me. Taking in the other rides, the tents, the cars passing on the highway, the people below us—I hated heights, especially on a death trap people thought was fun. I felt a hand curl around my own. I glanced down at his hand covering my own and then quickly over at him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m holding your hand, well I would hold it properly if you’d just let go of the bar. Nothing’s going to happen to you. They check all the nuts and bolts before they even take the parts off the trucks.”

I blinked at him stupidly—I’ve never done that before—huh?

“It moves, movement could cause something to come loose, and then what, we’d be a mess of bodies, wire and metal, so not how I would like to die, let alone I have so many scientific theories to prove wrong by the time I’m twenty-five.”

He was laughing, out-right laughing at me. I snatched my hands off the railing, away from his in the process and then crossed my arms over my chest.

“It is not funny, I am a certified genius thank you very much, I’ve worked on things that I can’t even tell my own family about, not that they’d actually care in the first place, but still, if they wanted to know, I couldn’t tell them. Fine then, laugh it up grunt.”

Bad thing to say, bad, bad, very bad thing to say; he had stopped laughing instantly, as soon as that word left my mouth. He pressed himself to my side, causing our seat to swing just a little; his body warmth permeated through my own and I did not like how that was making me feel—at all.

“Now, now Rodney, you’ve got me all wrong. You imply I’m a whore, or at the very least, I get around and now you’re implying I’m a moron. I’ll fill you in on a few things, I know that for me to do what I would like to do to you is considered illegal in most states, I’d be dishonorably discharged if I were caught and I graduate in a year from M.I.T. with a MA in Applied Mathematics. I’m career minded, I need degrees to be promoted and I was permitted to choose my subjects. I like math, always have. It’s easy for me.”

His breath was hot in my ear and this was so not fair, I’m sixteen years old physically and what he was doing was so not helping me at all. I knew what he was implying; hell I would love to do even half the things that have flashed through my mind.

“I like you Rodney; I’ve liked you for three months now. Teyla’s told me a lot about you and a guy like you never lasts so long as a week around Teyla but she likes you and so I started asking about you. She finally sent me a picture of the three of you, you, her and Ronon. You were just what I had imagined and I did ask to be paired up with you on rides ‘cause I wanted to get to know you for myself. I can back off if you want me to. I’ll say this though, I’m far from stupid and you are too, I’m not looking for a fling. I’d want the real deal with you and it takes a lot for me to admit something like that.”

He scooted back to his side of the seat and simply stared out ahead of us. I glanced too, finally realizing we were actually stopped at the top. It was beautiful. The sky was stretched out in front of us, the only way we’d see the crowds below is if we leant forward and actually looked down. I snuck a glance at him, he was still staring ahead. I could feel my half-hard arousal feeling constricted in my jeans and I inwardly groaned. That must have taken a lot for him to say, Teyla did say he doesn’t talk much about his personal life—especially about his birth family.

“I…I’ve never had…I’ve never…I’ve never done anything with another person before, girl or guy. I’ve never had a relationship, so if that’s what you want, I have no idea what to do. I like to work a lot, study a lot and that takes up most of my time and that has to be okay…and I probably suck at emotions more than you do so that, that’s something you’d have to deal with and I don’t even know much about you aside from you’re semi-smart, you’re in the Air Force and you’re Teyla’s brother. You’ll have to talk to me ‘cause I like talking and I’m a geek, I have very geeky interests and not many people can hold up a conversation that fluctuates between Star Trek and Star Wars, let alone know what I’m actually talking about. I’m allergic to citrus that’s why everyone carries epi-pens when we go out, which I hate doing. I like cats and I think you’ve had me half-hard since I first laid eyes on you this afternoon.”

That did not just happen! I felt myself flush with embarrassment. I clenched my eyes shut and counted to ten about sixty times in rapid succession. I felt movement and my eyes shot open when I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder. He pulled me to his side and used his left hand to hold my right. I let him, it felt nice; no one’s ever done this to me before. I felt his lips brush my ear as he spoke in a soft tone I doubt anyone other than Teyla’s ever heard him use.

“I’ve got just about as much experience as you do, I can tell you that right now. I grew up for fourteen years in a military household before my parents were killed. I’ve never been one to be touchy feely but you, you make me want to touch you, I’m willing to give this a shot if you are.”

I could only nod and smile as he pulled me closer to him. Now I understood what girls meant when they’d get butterflies in their stomachs, even though it was just nerves, probably a little gas.