Well, I Feel That This Is an Explosion
I’m not the one that you want.
I am aware that it is short. Live with it.
--
It lasted about a minute before I realized what was happening.
“Mike!” I yelled, pulling away from him. His eyes widened, and as though he was seven, he lifted his hand up to his mouth in shock.
“Shit Kellee, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, Kellee…”
“I’m leaving.”
“No, Kellee, don’t, it’s my fault,” he kept repeating over and over.
“Mike, shut up!” I shouted after about a minute of that.
I guess I did it to forget Bill.
But I took Mike’s face in my hands, and our lips collided in milliseconds.
--
I counted the dots on the ceiling of the bus, feeling Mike shift slightly in his sleep beside me. I felt dirty.
Barely two hours ago I was attempting to get back the only one I’d ever truly loved, and here I was, in bed with his best friend.
But I needed to forget. And this was how I forgot.
Part of me was praying that this was all a dream, the past two years and up to now. I wanted, no, needed, William Beckett.
Somehow I was going to get him.
“What are you thinking about?” someone murmured. I looked down to my left, feeling Mike’s arms lock around my bare waist.
“You,” I lied. Well – half lied. He smiled brightly, leaning up slightly to kiss me again. It took every bit of strength in me to not pull away. He sat up as he separated our lips, and scanned the ground for his clothes. He collected them in his arms, and tugged them over his frame. I sighed, rolling over and picking up my own clothing without moving from the couch. Soon, I was dressed, but I still didn’t move. Mike stared at me from the perch he had taken on the counter.
“I really missed you, Kellee,” he said, shoving his hand into the cabinet and fishing around for a minute. He finally settled on a box of Cheerios, his dirty hands scooping the circles into his mouth. He acted four.
“I missed you too, Mike.” The bus door opened, and a tall boy with just-past-chin length brown hair greeted my eyes. He caught my gaze, and then pretended as though I didn’t exist and walked on to the bunk area. William.
I wrenched my stare away from the closed door, forcing a small smile at Mike. His eyes were filled with puzzlement, as though he had forgotten, as I had tried to, that I wanted William. But his lips returned my gesture.
--
I was stuck with Mike. He had asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes with the same premises as last time. He had agreed to it, as had I.
His hand was locked on mine as we waited in the hotel lobby for Tony to confirm the rooms. The silence was unbearable, even though it was far from silent. I stood up from the seat I was sharing with Mike, muttered something about needing ‘fresh air’ and walked out. I pulled out my iPod as the warm air of whatever state we were in hit me. The white earphones were soon shoved into my ears, the sweet sounds of The Smashing Pumpkins entering my ears.
It hadn’t been long when Mike came out and latched his lips to mine, only pulling away to say that Tony had the hotel rooms. His tongue was shoved down my throat, which caused me to jump and pull away.
“We aren’t even in the hotel room yet, Mike, please wait just a few minutes,” I sighed. I didn’t like dealing with Mike’s cravings, and he seemed to only want me for the sex.
Still, it gave me a reason to be within breathing distance of William Beckett.The only reason I stayed with Mike.
--
It lasted about a minute before I realized what was happening.
“Mike!” I yelled, pulling away from him. His eyes widened, and as though he was seven, he lifted his hand up to his mouth in shock.
“Shit Kellee, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, Kellee…”
“I’m leaving.”
“No, Kellee, don’t, it’s my fault,” he kept repeating over and over.
“Mike, shut up!” I shouted after about a minute of that.
I guess I did it to forget Bill.
But I took Mike’s face in my hands, and our lips collided in milliseconds.
--
I counted the dots on the ceiling of the bus, feeling Mike shift slightly in his sleep beside me. I felt dirty.
Barely two hours ago I was attempting to get back the only one I’d ever truly loved, and here I was, in bed with his best friend.
But I needed to forget. And this was how I forgot.
Part of me was praying that this was all a dream, the past two years and up to now. I wanted, no, needed, William Beckett.
Somehow I was going to get him.
“What are you thinking about?” someone murmured. I looked down to my left, feeling Mike’s arms lock around my bare waist.
“You,” I lied. Well – half lied. He smiled brightly, leaning up slightly to kiss me again. It took every bit of strength in me to not pull away. He sat up as he separated our lips, and scanned the ground for his clothes. He collected them in his arms, and tugged them over his frame. I sighed, rolling over and picking up my own clothing without moving from the couch. Soon, I was dressed, but I still didn’t move. Mike stared at me from the perch he had taken on the counter.
“I really missed you, Kellee,” he said, shoving his hand into the cabinet and fishing around for a minute. He finally settled on a box of Cheerios, his dirty hands scooping the circles into his mouth. He acted four.
“I missed you too, Mike.” The bus door opened, and a tall boy with just-past-chin length brown hair greeted my eyes. He caught my gaze, and then pretended as though I didn’t exist and walked on to the bunk area. William.
I wrenched my stare away from the closed door, forcing a small smile at Mike. His eyes were filled with puzzlement, as though he had forgotten, as I had tried to, that I wanted William. But his lips returned my gesture.
--
I was stuck with Mike. He had asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes with the same premises as last time. He had agreed to it, as had I.
His hand was locked on mine as we waited in the hotel lobby for Tony to confirm the rooms. The silence was unbearable, even though it was far from silent. I stood up from the seat I was sharing with Mike, muttered something about needing ‘fresh air’ and walked out. I pulled out my iPod as the warm air of whatever state we were in hit me. The white earphones were soon shoved into my ears, the sweet sounds of The Smashing Pumpkins entering my ears.
It hadn’t been long when Mike came out and latched his lips to mine, only pulling away to say that Tony had the hotel rooms. His tongue was shoved down my throat, which caused me to jump and pull away.
“We aren’t even in the hotel room yet, Mike, please wait just a few minutes,” I sighed. I didn’t like dealing with Mike’s cravings, and he seemed to only want me for the sex.
Still, it gave me a reason to be within breathing distance of William Beckett.The only reason I stayed with Mike.