Well, I Feel That This Is an Explosion

I felt my heart sink as Mike told me it would be Adam, not Bill, sharing the room with us. But nonetheless, I trudged inside. Mike had left my side to get his guitar ready for the show. I was stuck in the hotel room, because I simply did not want to go.

I lay on the bed, iPod earphones stuck in my ears, with my eyes closed. Muse gently played through my ears, and I slowly drifted off.

--

A hand was on my shoulder, gently shaking me.

“Go away, Mike,” I moaned, swiping blindly at the hand.
“Should I be insulted?” I sat straight up, my eyes wide open. I looked down at the figure lying beside me. William Beckett had returned.
“William?” I asked, as though confirm that this was actually real, that this wasn’t a dream. He nodded.
“Kellee?”
“Do you…are you still mad at me?” I looked down at my hands. “I really am sorry.”
“I’m not mad at you, anymore, and its okay.” His arm extended, lying his hand on mine. “Do you forgive me?” I nodded. His arm pulled me into a tight hug against his chest.
“I’m so happy you’re back,” he whispered.
“I am too.”

But what about Mike?
You don’t really love Mike.
I could.
But you don’t.

It was time to face the facts. I couldn’t stay with Mike.

“Kellee?” I heard, breaking my thoughts. William was looking at me. “Stop thinking so hard.”
“You need to go to sound check.” I stood up. He pulled me back down, forcing his lips onto mine.
“This is wrong,” I whispered breathlessly. “I’m with Mike, Bill –”
“No, shut up,” he said. I shook my head.
“Bill, go, please,” I pleaded. My phone rang in my back pocket. Thank God.

He finally left when I told him my phone was ringing. It was Mike. He asked if I was coming to the show tonight. I said no, I wasn’t feeling too good.

It gave me some time to figure out what I wanted to do. And by the time Mike had finally stumbled in, drunk off his ass, I knew what I wanted.

“Kellee?” I heard his voice slur. I rolled over, sighing.
“Mike…”
“Kellee, why are you so distant?” His words were hard to make out.
“I’m leaving you.”
“But Kellee…”

I don’t think he quite understood, being so out of it. But I knew that when I had closed the door after me, he knew, too, why I had left.

I didn’t regret it.

But there was one last place I needed to go before I left.

I gently pushed the card into the lock on the door, letting the door swing open. I closed it quietly, and walked over to the bed. He lay on it peacefully, his hair splaying out around his head on his pillow. I bent over to kiss his cheek. He stirred slightly, blinking slowly.

“Kellee?” I’ve grown to hate how people say Kellee like a question, but I could get used to William saying it. “Why are you here?”

“I left Mike.” Through the darkness, I made out a smile on his lips. I scribbled my address and phone number onto a sheet of paper, and gave it to William. “Come see me after tour.” He nodded, setting the paper on the table beside the bed. I leant forward so that our lips met. Mine lingered on his for a moment before I pulled away. “I love you, William.” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. He stood up with me, walking me to the door.

Let’s just hope he remembers to come see me when tour’s over.