The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

Autumn faded into winter without much notice, aside from the unusually cold weather that the DMV was experiencing. I kept myself busy, with work and class and hockey games. I still worked seven to eight hours a day at Kettler, but I had quit my job at the movie theatre, partially because of the distance now that I lived in DC instead of Fairfax and partially because working there had become more of a chore than work ever should be. Instead, for extra money, since a second job was surprisingly not as necessary when I lived with Sadie as it had been when I lived with my brothers, probably because of all money saved by not buying massive amounts of alcohol and drugs, I worked at a small gallery in Dupont Circle, which housed the art of local artists, varying from week to week, month to month, but only a few days a week. It was amazing how much better I felt when I didn't work eighteen hour days. And since none of my day was spent hung over, I felt three times as spectacular.

And honestly, sobriety was getting easier after five months. Sure, there was still an overwhelming craving for alcohol, there probably always would be, but it was hard to slip up when Sadie didn't keep alcohol in the apartment and I wasn't of legal drinking age and I didn't see any of my friends anymore who usually bought alcohol for me, so I was pretty much stranded in sobriety, anyways.

Sighing, I tucked some of my unruly, chocolate brown waves behind my ear and got back to work. Sadie had the day off and Lacey's shift didn't start for another half-hour, so I was left in the little room by myself, absentmindedly sharpening skates, waiting for something even remotely interesting to happen. Of course, nothing did, especially since the Caps were out of town, leaving me without any sort of entertainment, from both the lack-of practices and lack-of ditzy puck bunnies running around, fawning over the boys and chasing them in the parking lot and chattering away to one another about how 'so-and-so looked right at me, like oh my God, we're totally soul mates' . Their pathetic nativity was an endless source of amusement, in my opinion.

I glanced at the clock - twenty-five minutes until Lacey showed up and four hours until my shift ended. I groaned and grabbed my cell phone off the work bench before beginning to idly thumbing through my photo album. Most of the pictures on my phone I don't remember taking since most of them were taken when I was obliterated. But I had a stupid grin on my face or was laughing drunkenly in all of them, so I must have been having a good time. I always had a good time when I was drunk; it was one of the attractions to alcohol and parties. Alcohol helped me adapt when I was sixteen and entering a whole new world when I moved in with my brothers. I had never been to a party before in my life and my only experience with alcohol was the occasional Guinness, so moving into an apartment with my brothers and Andy and the rest of their friends drank and smoked and partied and had lots of meaningless sex made me feel completely out of my element. And to fit in and adjust, I drank and smoked and partied and had lots of meaningless sex and it became a part of me.

Shaking my head, I redirected my gaze back to the screen of my enV Touch, only to immediately regret it. Displayed on my touch screen was a very familiar photo, one of Andy and I when we first got together, my sophomore year in high school, his freshman year in college, when things were absolutely picturesque. I thumbed to the next one. Andy and I at some party; Andy and I at a Caps game; Andy and I at one of Finn's soccer games; Andy and I at Cory's Mason graduation; Andy and I at another party; Andy and I at my high school graduation; Andy and I kissing; Andy and I at Dave's bar; Andy and I ice skating; Andy and I on Christmas; Andy and I cuddling; Andy and I drinking; Andy and I two days before he died...

I bit my lip, trying to ignore the sharp clawing I felt at the back of my eyes as the tears desperately wanted release. Andy had been gone for six months and I tried to think of him as little as possible because then I would be able to ignore the overwhelming emptiness his death had left in my chest, but it was an impossible task. Sure, there were momentary distractions, but come nighttime, when my bed is cold and empty, I cried myself to sleep from the inconsolable loneliness I felt. I desperately needed someone to cling to, to care about me, to tell me I'd be okay, but without Andy I didn't know who to turn to. I knew my brothers cared about me a ridiculous amount, but sobriety has kept them at a distance and forget about all my old friends, once the party's over and the alcohol's gone, they were gone. Sadie tried the best she could, but it wasn't enough. No one was enough.

"Sorcha?" a soft voice spoke as a concerned hand landed on my shoulder. I fell off the stool in surprise as I whipped around, spying Lacey, decked in her work uniform, looking at my curiously. "Is everything alright?"

I quickly closed out of my photo gallery, wiped the stray tears from my cheeks, and forced a smile.

"Never better, Lacey."