Maybe Someday

Ellen lay in the hotel bed, her fingers laced across her stomach, the back of her head on the pillow, and her eyes wide open as she stared into the darkness. She and Sid had turned the lights out in their quaint, rented, bed and breakfast room nearly three hours before, but she hadn’t been able to keep her eyes closed. She didn’t want to. All she could think about was the man on the other bed – who was snoring lightly and had been for nearly all of the past three hours she had been lying awake. She thought about the way his lips felt against hers, the way his hands grabbed at her body, and the way his kiss made her feel.

No matter how many times Ellen tried to talk to Sidney, the words wouldn’t come out. Their dinner was almost completely silent, and if they did speak, it was about something trivial or unimportant. That wasn’t them. There had never been a time when the pair didn’t have something to say, not even in what should have been an awkward time in their relationship – when they had gone from friends to something more. The silence hurt her ears. All she wanted to do was hear her best friend’s voice, and that was the one thing he wasn’t giving her.

Letting out a rough sigh, she grabbed her cell phone as she threw the bed’s covers off of her. Slipping into her flip flops and throwing a sweatshirt over her tank top and shorts, she quietly left her and Sid’s room and headed down to the lobby, where she knew no one was and no one would be bothered. She opened her phone’s address book and scrolled to the familiar name of her fiancé. Bringing the phone to her ear, she glanced down at her enagement ring and smiled.

It was midnight for her, and she knew there was a chance Pierre wouldn’t answer; it was six a.m. in Paris, but on the third ring, she heard the smooth, deep accent of her fiancé, and she smiled, despite the worry in his voice.

“Ellen?” He asked. “So early; what is wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, knowing she had woken him up. “I can’t sleep, and I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, mon amour. It won’t be long until you come home for a week.”

“I know,” Ellen sighed. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Do not worry,” he told her, making her laugh at how his English was always so proper. “I must get up for work soon. The restaurant will be busy today.”

“Good luck,” she laughed. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Get some sleep; bonsoir.”

“Goodnight,” she repeated in English as she disconnected the call.

She frowned when she realized the call to Pierre hadn’t helped at all. If anything, she felt worse. She had wanted to tell him about the kiss between her and Sidney, but she couldn’t. She didn’t even know what it meant herself, and to tell him now would be stupid. She needed to wait, realize it meant nothing, and then she could tell Pierre. She was sure he wouldn’t be mad; that wasn’t in his nature. He was a calm, very relaxed guy, and though she was sure he wouldn’t be happy about it, she knew he wouldn’t blow up.

Quietly opening the door to she and Sid’s room, she was surprised to find the light on and Sidney sitting up in his bed. “Hey,” he said as he looked up at her. “Can we talk?”

“Sure,” she said. “Did I wake you when I left?”

“Yeah, I followed after you to see where you were going, and I heard you talking to Pierre. I want to apologize,” he told her, standing up and moving to where she stood, frozen against the door to their room. “I never should have kissed you; you love him.”

“I do,” she said quietly as Sid approached her. She felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her away from the door and into his chest.

“I know; I’m sorry, again. We can just forget it ever happened if you’d like. I think I want to.”

“I think we should, too,” she agreed, not sure if she ever could forget the kiss. Sid seemed happy with her words, and he pressed his lips lightly against her forehead as he gave her a tight squeeze. He pulled away from her and hopped into his bed, turning out the light next to him. Ellen sighed, climbing back into her own, sure that she still wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.

- - -

Ellen let out a laugh as she and Sid approached the gates to the amusement park. Instead of continuing their drive a few more hours, they stopped, partly because they were both tired and because Sid wasn’t quite ready to head back to Pittsburgh. He had finally opened up to her, told her that the past two weeks with her had been like a blast to the past; he was able to be carefree again, be himself, and do normal things. What was more normal than a road trip with your best friend? And now that they were nearing Pittsburgh, he had to fall back into his new life, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to balance his life with Ellen with his life with hockey.

Hershey, Pennsylvania and Hershey Park was a place Ellen had wanted to visit her whole life. Chocolate and roller coasters; she couldn’t think of a more fun thing to do. Sure, it was a little out of their way, but it was better than being stuck in a hotel for an entire evening and night if they had chosen to stay at a hotel along their driving route to Pittsburgh.

As soon as they entered the park, which wasn’t as busy as Ellen feared it would be, Sidney had been recognized by some people. Signing autographs for everyone on anything they could get their hands on (napkins, park brochures and maps, as well as their souvenirs) the hockey star was grateful that people were mostly leaving him and Ellen alone, clearly recognizing that the pair was there to have fun, and Sid was not there to work.

The park would be open for another eight hours, and Sidney knew Ellen was determined to ride as many roller coasters as possible. He had to admit, he wanted to as well. Getting in line for the Sidewinder, the two of them fell into conversation. Hockey was never a topic of conversation and for that, Sidney was also grateful. He knew Ellen was purposely trying to get his mind off of the upcoming season, to try and make him feel as normal as she could, and she was doing a good job. Sid couldn’t remember the last time he had gone out to a place like Hershey Park; maybe his early teens.

“Thanks,” he said as they climbed into the car of the ride.

“For what?” She asked as she pulled the harness down over her shoulders and chest.

“The past few weeks, and this,” he started motioning to the park around them. “I haven’t felt normal in a while. I think that has to do with you, you know.”

“I’m the only one who treats you like a normal guy who just happens to play hockey professionally?”

“You and my sister, yeah.”

Ellen frowned as the ride jerked forward, immediately into a slow descent up a hill. She looked at Sid as they approached the top of the ride and the huge drop ahead of them. She laced her fingers with his, making him smile. She raised their arms up as they reached the top of the ride, a loud laugh coming from her mouth.

“Here we go,” she said, the last word continuing into a scream as the ride flung them down toward the ground and immediately into a loop and the other ups and down ahead of them.

- - -

The cool air and comfortable beds waiting for them inside of the hotel room they had just checked into was a welcomed thing from both of them. They hadn’t even bothered to get a room earlier, going to the amusement park straight from their drive on the road. They had left their stuff in the car, bought two tickets, and spent the entire afternoon and evening at the place, riding as many rides and eating as much chocolate as possible.

Sid groaned, falling onto his bed, “I ate so much junk, Ellen. My trainer is going to kick my ass.”

She scoffed, “One day isn’t going to throw you off of your whole plan, drama queen.”

“Thanks a lot,” he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he stripped his shirt off, making Ellen drop her eyes to the screen of her phone, replying to the text message her fiancé had just sent. “Are you going to shower tonight or in the morning?”

“The morning,” she told him, already getting her bed ready to climb into it. “I’m exhausted.”

She saw Sidney nod and head toward the bathroom. She heard the water turn on a few seconds later, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She wanted to say it wasn’t like her to have more than friendly thoughts of Sid, but she couldn’t. The last time she had seen him, they had actually been more than friends. Their relationship had ended and they hadn’t gone back to being friends; they hadn’t even spoken in those four years. Now that they were back in each other’s lives, Ellen didn’t realize how hard it would be to be just friends with Sid. It was nearly impossible to think of him like that anymore after everything they had felt about each other has kids. He was her first love, and part of her was afraid to admit, her best love.