Broken Inside

The rest of the day went fine. My kids spent the day happily playing until they were picked up. I cleared up some last minute projects before heading to a faculty meeting, then picked up Matthew from daycare. He was full of information about his day before we even got out to the car.

“And we had cookies for snack dat Miss Molly maked for us.” He smiled kicking his feet in his little car seat. I smiled at him.

“That sounds exciting.”

“What did you do, Daddy?”

“Painted.”

“Dat sounds fun.” He played with his teddy bear I’d given him the first day he was born. He took it everywhere. It was starting to get worn and dirty. He loved it. It was definitely his favorite toy. He was asleep by the time we got home. I woke him up and put him in his room to play while I started dinner. The house seemed too quite. I flipped on some music right as the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Meeka, it’s Kara”

“Kara, hey.”

“Hi. Is Brooke okay?”

“What?”

“She never showed up to work. She was supposed to come in at five. It’s six. She’s never late. Is she sick or something?”

“Wait, what do you mean she was supposed to come in at five?”

“I mean she was scheduled at five.”

“She told me that she was going to work at noon with you. That you were picking her up.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Her car is here, Kara.”

“Well she’s somewhere.” My heart started to race.

“Daddy, why is the door locked?” Matthew was suddenly in front of me doing the pee dance.

“What door?”

“The upstairs bafwoom. Nobody answerwed when I knocked.” I swallowed the growing lump in my throat.

“Go to the one down here and don’t come upstairs.” Something didn’t feel right.

“Meeka, what’s wrong?”

“Hold on.” I walked up the stairs, a coldness coming over me. I knocked on the door to the master bathroom. There was no answer. I got the key and unlocked the door. What I saw made me vomit.

The bath tub was full of water and Brooke was laying in it, both wrists slashed. There was blood all over the bathroom. I ran to her and checked her pulse. The beat was faint but there. I grabbed the phone from the floor. “K-K-Kara, send an ambulance.” I hung up and tried to wake her up. No luck. I was shaking. Matthew. I couldn’t let him see her like this. He couldn’t be here when the paramedics came. I looked at myself covered in my wife’s blood. I couldn’t go down there like this. I dialed my best friend and Brooke’s older brother, Dylan’s number.

“Hey man.”

“Dylan, I need you to get here and take Matthew.”

“What’s going on man?”

“Just do it! I won’t answer the door so just…just come in.” My voice broke. “Don’t ask questions. Just be here now.”

“It’ll take me five minutes.” I hung up and hugged Brooke’s cold body to me. Every fiber of my soul wanted to sob and break down, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

After what seemed like an eternity, the paramedics arrived. They took Brooke away. I rode with her. She had to be okay. She just had to be. They gave me some fresh clothes and helped me get cleaned up as they took Brooke into surgery. Kara sat with me. A surgeon came out.

“Meeka, we can’t save her. We saved the baby though. Do you want to see her?” I walked in a haze to see my baby daughter. She was so tiny. I stared at her in the incubator. I wondered if she could live. It didn’t seem possible. I couldn’t even hold her. I knew I couldn’t. I just stared at her.

“Can…Can I see Brooke?”I whispered to Kara. She nodded me and led me to the room Brooke was in. They’d stitched her up. Somewhere in the night, they’d asked me and I’d consented to harvest Brooke’s organs. I just stared at her. I was so scared to touch her. Touching her would make it real. I couldn’t do it. I took her hand finally and kissed her lips one last time.

“Why Brooke? Why did you do this? I’m sorry.” I hated myself. I knew something was wrong. I’d known something was wrong. The Brooke I’d fallen in love with in high school hadn’t been there since the night she got raped. The Brooke who laughed at everything. The Brooke who loved people. The Brooke who’s smile could brighten a room. The Brooke who loved everything about life. She was gone. And now she was gone forever. She’d never return. I laid next to her and put my head on her chest. For the first time in a long time, I sobbed like a baby.