Broken Inside

“You know what’s completely sad is that you’re still single.” Dylan’s current lover, Joey, was saying to me over lunch as I sipped some red wine.

“You don’t know how my brother-in-law works obviously.” Dylan rolled his eyes. I’d agreed to go out for lunch with Dylan. I hadn’t known Joey was coming. I didn’t like him. He’d cheated on him so many times and Dylan would just kick him out for a few days before taking him back. I hated the guy.

“Well, all I’m saying is that he’s a hot, young Frenchman with everything in the world going for him. Why not grab someone to tango with?”

“I don’t even understand how my love life is your concern.” I said coldly.

“I’m just looking out for you.”

“Whatever.” I was a bit mad at Dylan for bring him. I never had fun when Joey was around. He pissed me off.

“You need to get out there. Explore the world. Hell, be adventurous and try your luck with another man.” He winked at me and rubbed his hand up my thigh toward my crotch. I stood up.

“Listen, Dylan I’m sorry I have to leave. Maybe we can do this again some time when your boyfriend isn’t around to hit on me.” Dylan looked from me to Joey.

“Wait.” I looked at him. He told Joey to he’d be back before taking me by the arm and pulling me toward the kitchen.

“I don’t have much time. I told you I only had a few hours before my parent teacher conferences.” Dylan nodded.

“I know you aren’t a big fan of Joey, but can’t we be civil?”

“I hate him. I’m not a fan of any sort unless it’s the fan of Joey being kicked out on his ass club.” Dylan folded his arms.

“You’ve been my best friend forever. You’re the only guy I ever let near my sister without constant death threats and stalking. You are the father of my neice and the dad of my nephew and you don’t know how much you mean to me, but I won’t tolerate you disrespecting Joey under my roof.” That was the final straw for me.

“You know what Dylan, you are absolutely right. Yeah maybe next time he’s violating me I should just let him. That’s the respectable thing to do.” Dylan looked the counter. “But you know what? If you want to be with him and put up with his cheating on you and flirting with people right in front of you, go ahead. I just won’t be around to see it or be the pawn his game.” I turned around and walked toward the door. Joey got up and put his hand on my chest.

“Ow-a revar, stud.” He said butchering the phrase. I pushed him out of my way and as I was backing out the door I said,

“Nice job, too bad you can’t even say it right. It’s pronounced ‘ah revwah’ not ‘ow-a revar’. Adieu, pervers.” I slammed the door in his face. I felt a bit accomplished. I hated the guy. Yeah, Dylan was definitely pissed off, but I couldn’t care less. I got back to the school and saw Lisa.

“Hey, Lis.”

“Meeka! How are you?”

“I feel a mixture of disgust and accomplishment.”

“What happened?”

“My best friend and brother-in-law, Dylan’s stupid lover is an ass. He’s always cheating on him and hitting on people. I got mad because he started violating me. Dylan got mad at, get this, me because I apparently, disrespected Joey.” I rolled my eyes. “So as I’m leaving Joey tries to say au revoir but it turns our like barely recognizable. I completely called him out and then said adieu, pervers. It means goodbye forever perve.” I smiled. She stared at me blinking before she burst out in laughter.

“Meeka, my friend, you are crazy.”

“Merci madame.”

I did my conferences with the parents talking about the usual development of their kids. Luckily, this year I didn’t have any kids with problems. I hated having to give the news that something may be wrong with a kid. This was the first year in forever that it had gone this way.

“Are you sure that you’re not pushing them?” A worried mother asked. I’d been having the kids to counting worksheets and reading books. They were fully capable and they all loved it.

“I can assure you completely that he is capable. He does very well. One of the brightest students I’ve had in all my years of teaching.”

“And how long have you been teaching. You look like you’re twentyfive.” The father asked. I laughed a little.

“Well thank you for the compliment, but I’m almost forty. I’ve been teaching seventeen years.”

“I don’t think that it’s right that my kindergarten student is coming home sounding like a damn Frenchy! I don’t see why they let you in the country. You people are disgusting! Go ahead and hold up your white flag now!” I blinked a few times.

“Robert!” The mother gasped and started appologizing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about and I’ve been here since I was ten years old. My English is perfectly fine.” I hadn’t been insulted because of being French as a teacher in all my years. My methods, yes. Never my accent or teaching the kids how to count to ten in French, Italian and Spanish as well as English or their colors. Most parents were very happy with this.

“I can’t understand half of what you say.”

“I’m sorry about that, but it’s not my fault.”

“It is your fault! Get a new accent!”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Leveque. My husband is out of line.” I offered her a small smile.

“Thank you, Mrs. Winters.”

“I love that Zander is learning counting and colors in other languages. You’re a wonderful teacher and he seems to love you.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m leaving.” Mr. Winters got up and left. Leaving the two of us alone.

“I’m so sorry about him just attacking you.”

“It’s okay. You did nothing wrong.”

“He’s just not a big fan of your people because of some of the last few wars and the lack of support. My husband is a big patriot. I don’t agree with him.”

“Well thank you for your appology. Zander is a great kid. Don’t worry about him. He may be challenged, but it’s nothing too difficult. If I gave him easy things to do, he’d get bored.”

“I understand.”

“And other than that this meeting is through unless you have another question.”

“No, no. Thank you.”

“Thank you.” She left. I gathered up my things and headed for home.

Matthew and Aaron were sitting on the couch, giggling, when I got home. “No way!” Aaron was saying. Lily was in the kitchen looking at a photo album. She looked up at me.

“Hi Daddy. What are you going to tell us tonight?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“You should talk about when you asked her out and your first date and kiss.” I felt the same pain stab through my heart. I pushed it aside.

“Maybe. What are you looking at?”

“It wasn’t packed up yet. It’s a scrapbook of Mom’s from high school.” I looked at it. Across the top of the two pages said, MY ANGEL, MEEKA LEVEQUE One page had a few pictures of me in the corners. Another had me kissing her on the cheek. There was one of us at the winter formal. There was another of us kissing during the sunset. In small letters she quoted, ”If I’m an angel, paint me with black wings.” I touched a picture of her smiling face.

“What’s up with the quote about black wings? Is it because you were like a rocker boy?”

“It’s from an Anne Rice book. The Vampire Armand. We both shared a love of her work.” Lily nodded and looked at them. There was a stub from a movie. A receipt from a restaurant. I’d always wondered why she asked me for it. There was a note I wrote to her in the center of one of the pages.

Mon Chéri,

I just want to let you know that you’re the most beautiful girl on the planet. Your eyes are truly a window to your soul. Both make my heart flutter. You will never understand how much you mean to me. If you’d allow me, I’d run away forever with you. We’d be like Romeo and Juliet with out the dying at the end. It’d be romantic wouldn’t it? You deserve romance. I love you more than you can know. I love ho you squint your eyes ever so slightly when you’re confused. I love how your lips feel when I kiss you, like silk. I find the way that you push your hair out of your face to be magic. You touch makes my heart skip a beat. I love the way you laugh. Your voice is the most beautiful music to my ears. When you sigh, it’s like a gentle breeze on a summer night. I guess all this may sound cheesey and stupid to you, but it’s how I feel. I’m not lying. You’ve taken my heart hostage. I won’t be so cruel. I’ll wait until you give your heart to me. You’re my everything. I can’t breathe with out you.

Amitiés toujours,
Meeka Leveque

“Daddy, how do you find love like this?” Lily asked softly.

“You get lucky, I guess.”

“If you were her angel, then why’d she die?” I felt a stab go through my heart. I took the scrapbook away from her.

“We’re not talking about this.” I hugged it to my chest, tears filling my eyes. I went up to my room. I heard Matthew say,

“Nice going Lils.”

I put the scrapbook on the nightstand. Would I be strong enough? I wasn’t sure. I knew that I had to tell them little by little about her. I went down to the living room where Aaron was laying against Matthew watching what Mattie was doing on his phone. They’d always been so close, it was kind of cute. I thought they’d outgrow it though. It wasn’t a big deal or anything, just different.

“Are you gonna tell us a story?” Lily asked. Aaron perked up.

“I’d love to hear a story too, Meeka.” He smiled. I loved Aaron. Few non-adults ever called me Meeka or were allowed to. Aaron and Keeli were those few.

“Really? Now?” Matthew looked annoyed, then looked at me. “Sorry, it’s just you haven’t been able to talk about her and now you’re an open book. I was expecting it to be more spaced.”

“Shut up, Matt.” Lily glared. “Please?”

“Yeah shut up Matt.” Aaron mocked. Matthew rolled his eyes. Aaron stuck his tongue out and Matthew laughed.

“Sorry. I do want to hear it.” He set his phone down and looked patiently at me.

“I guess since you are all so addament. I don’t know about you though.” I gestured to Aaron. He held his hand up.

“I swear that this will not be all over the internet or texts or school. Hell, I only talk to Mattie and Keeli.” Matthew muttered for him to shut up.

“Please?”

“Fine.” Matthew pushed Aaron and patted the seat next to him. Lily sat on Aaron.

**************************************
“Meeka, stop it!” Brooke squealed as I sprayed her with the waterhose. I laughed at her.

“You know it’s so hot out here, you like this.”

“Meeka!” She put her hands up to block the cold water from hitting her face. Dylan was laying on his back soaking up rays. I was pretty sure he was asleep, but I asked confirmation from Brooke. She nodded. I put my finger to my lips and bent the hose, causing the water to build up and let it loose. Dylan jumped up.

“You little shit!” Dylan spazzed.

“I think this is fun.”

“You’re not the one getting sprayed!” Dylan and Brooke both said together.

“Oh, look at that. You two have that sibling mind thing.” I laughed at them. “And I’m wetter than you both.” Brooke looked at me like she’d been doing for the past hour we’d been playing in the water. She licked her lips and went toward the house.

“We should get dressed in something dry before my dad gets home and freaks.” I nodded and turned off the water. Dylan was muttering to himself about how his tan was ruined.

“You look fine.” I told him.

“Really?”

“Yes.” We got dressed and were in the kitchen when Brooke came in. She was so breathtaking as always. Her hair hung losely around and she was wearing a blue tank top with a black mini skirt.

“Hey Meeky.” She hugged me.

“Do you wanna take a walk?” I asked. Dylan’s eyes instantly narrowed.

“I’ll come along.” He said.

“Dylan I’m not a baby!” Brooke insisted.

“I know. That’s why I’m going.”

“We’ll meet you outside.” I promised.

“I”ll be out in five minutes.” He said running to his room.

“Let’s ditch him.” I suggested. Brooke giggled.

“We should.” It had gotten dark in the hour we’d been inside. It was nice. The crickets were chirping. It was peaceful. We started down the street.

“You know, it’s so beautiful out here. I’ve never had anything like this before.”

“Really?” Brooke stared at me. “You’ve never had a nice summer night?”

“Not like this.” She nodded. “I was thinking…I’ve known you almost a year now.”

“Yeah.” She stopped and stood in front of me.

“You’re beautiful and funny and smart.”

“Thank you.” I took her hands and brought them to my lips.

“Cheri, you make me all nervous and my heart jumps out of my chest. When I’m around you, I get butterflies in my stomach.” She stared into my eyes, trying to keep the smile back that was dancing on her lips. “Would you like to, how do you say it here? Go with me?” She nodded.

“Yes, yes! I’ve been waiting for this moment!” She threw her arms around me.

“Can I kiss you?” She giggled.

“Yeah.” She looked up at me. I gently tilted her head up toward me with my fingers before leaning down and her lips to touch mine. Electricity raced through my body. It was just a small brush of our lips. I was about to pull away when she took my face in her hands.

“Kiss me like you mean it, Frenchy.” It was my turn to laugh. I kissed her, this time for real. Her lips parted for my tongue to mingle with hers.

“WHAT THE FUCK? GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER, LEVEQUE!” I was suddenly on my butt staring up at Dylan. “This is why you ditch me? So you can pull your French suduction skills on my baby sister? Don’t think I don’t know. That’s what you people are famous for!”

“Dylan…” I started as I got to my feet. He punched me in the eye.

“What the hell Dylan!” Brooke screamed. “He wasn’t suducing me. He was very nice about it. He asked if he could kiss me. I let him. I’m almost sixteen. I don’t need you around messing another relationship up for me.” She took my hand. “Come on Meeky, I’ll get you some ice for your eye.”

****************************************

“That’s it? No first date?” Lily seemed utterly upset by all this. “I asked for the first time you asked her to be your girlfriend, first date and first kiss. In that order.”

“But the first kiss was before the first date.” I told her.

“Technically, the first date was a walk.” Aaron pointed out poking Lily in the ribs.

“Ow!” Lily stood up. “When do I get to hear the first date?”

“Next time. I promise.”

“So is this going to go in chornological order of your relationship?” Matthew asked.

“I think it should.” Lily said, her eyes glowing.

“It makes the most sense.” I told him. He nodded.

“I can’t believe Uncle Dylan punched you.” He laughed.

“It hurt too.”

“Did he get over it?”

“After awhile. It took a few months before he just ignored it without making disgusted noises. Then he started aweing or rolling his eyes. Stuff like that. Wasn’t too happy when things got to you.” I laughed. “I thought my ass was going to get killed.” Mattie laughed. Lily rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to call him up and have a chat. Nobody beats up my daddy and gets away with it.” I laughed as she walked away dialing on her phone. “Uncle Dylan, it’s Lily. We need to talk.” Aaron nudged Matthew.

“Oh, Daddy, is it cool if Aaron spends the night?”

“Is it okay with your foster family?” I asked. He shrugged.

“They don’t care about me.”

“I guess so.” Aaron smiled.

“Thank you so much Meeks.” He jumped up and hugged me.