Insidious.

The next day I'm at that drummer from dick-pig's house. Seth.

He's sitting at the computer watching some weird porno crap and I'm waiting for Tommy and Greg to show up so I can leave.

"Come check this out," Seth says beckoning me over.

I don't want to go look because I know I'm going to feel awkward the minute I reach the monitor. I say I'm good. I have enough porn at home.

Seth turns and looks at me with raised brows. "You don't want to see this, Zack?" He asks.

I say no.

"Why not? Are you a fag or some shit?"

I want to say yes, just to see what he does.

I do. "Uh, yeah, man. I'm a fag."

Seth cracks a smile and then laughs. "I knew it. Greg and I were making a bet. He showed me a picture of you a while back and I was all 'that dude's a flamer.'"

I wonder what Greg was doing flashing my photo around. I wonder if people are always talking about me when I'm not around.

"I was kidding, Seth," I tell him. "I'm no fag."

He stops laughing. "It's okay, man. I'm not gonna beat your face in just 'cause you like dicks."

"I want to beat his face in mostly because I know I can. "I'm not a fucking fag, Seth, okay? I just wanted to see what you would do."

Seth stands up and walks over to where I'm standing. I see a naked chick posing on a red convertible on the computer screen. I want him to minimize the browser.

"I'm gay too, Zack. It's okay."

Immediately, I feel uncomfortable. I shift my weight on the couch. "Uh.. I really was lying, but I mean.. that's cool I guess."

Seth goes to say something else, but the front door opens and Greg and Tommy walk inside. They see how close Seth is to me on the couch and I shoot them a look that hopefully says 'help me'.

"What the fuck, Seth," Greg says. "What are you, a flamer?"

Seth looks at me and gets up off of the couch. "No, man. I was just trying to get Zack here to go check out this chick on the computer."

Greg and Tommy look at the monitor and shake their heads. "That's bullshit and you know it."

~*~

Later on, Tommy and I are at a party with Greg and the rest of dick-pig. Seth is nowhere to be found.

I want to go home, but I know that I can't because I promised Greg I'd watch him play. I look around the room and see my sister talking to some guy in a blue beanie and a gray sweatshirt. He looks to be around twenty-five.

I don't say anything because I know she'd hate me for it.

"Hey, isn't that Rachel?" Tommy asks me.

I look in the direction he's pointing and see her with a beer in hand talking to some guy with slicked back hair. I run a hand through my own hair and wonder if she doesn't like it. It feels like a brown mop compared to the other guy's.

"Yeah," I say. "Let her talk to him. She's drunk anyways."

I want to go over there and ask what's going on. I want to tell her I thought we were past this whole thing. This talking to other people. This laughing at lame jokes that we both know aren't funny.

Whispering in their ears and asking them to go upstairs.

Leading the way up the stair case.

Maybe shutting the door on the way in and leaving the lights off.

I don't want to know the noises they are making.