Insidious.

After Harlow leaves I go out. Not for anything in particular, but just to remind myself that I'm not the one that died.

I see Tommy smoking a cigarette and ask him if I can bum one off of him. He isn't feeling stingy so he gives me one.

"You look like you need it," he says.

I shrug. "I guess I do. Did you hear?"

Tommy nods and sighs. "About Rachel? Yeah... it's fucked up isn't it. No one should die like that."

I furrow my brow. "Like what?"

Tommy flicks some ash off of his cigarette completely unaware of the fact that I was completely unaware.

"Like... she was chopped up and everything, man. Well her arms at least. I don't know which happened first. The rape or the arms. I know it's a fucked up thing to say, but I hope she got raped first. At least it wouldn't hurt as much, you know?"

I want to throw up.

Whatever it was that I had eaten that day wants to come back up, and I don't want to let it. I cover my mouth and drop my head into my hands. Tommy takes the cigarette from my hands so it doesn't burn my hair.

"What the fuck, man?"

I begin to shake. My legs bounce up and down, back and forth. I can't control my movements.

"What the fuck, Tommy!?" I shout. I'm crying again and I can't make it stop. I want to make it stop.

Snot starts pouring from my nose. I don't bother wiping it away.

"She... I can't.... what the fuck. man."

I know that it's my fault for leaving her there all by herself. I can't block any of that out anymore.

Tommy is confused.

"What are you talking about, Zack?"

I grab my hair and try pulling it out. I pull so hard that I scream, but it reminds me once again that I'm alive and she isn't.

"What did they do with her?" I ask.

Tommy puts out his cigarette and starts smoking mine. "They... they left her there, dude. They just threw her arms to the side and left her there. The neighbors found her lyin' there with her underwear stretched out around one ankle, and her tits were sorta just... out. Like they just pushed her bra up or some shit. I don't know... she was fucked man. They said the smell was fuckin' rancid, dude."

I stare straight ahead, half heartedly taking in the information.

Tommy keeps talking, but I've stopped listening.